It's Mandatory

Like all of you, I've lost loved ones to accidents, disease, and plain ol' old age. It shocks and rocks you. It is the cycle of life but it never gets easier.

Here's what I've learned. The words, "I love you" are always welcome. I rarely end a conversation or an email to a friend without them. I say them to my parents, the daughter and the baby, and my friends every day, in every conversation. It's a genuine feeling and no matter what is going on, I want you to know that you take up a space in my heart.

It's a Sheri Rule. It's mandatory for me.

There are k'jillions of children who have never heard this phrase.

I love you

It's a wonderful feeling and a wonderful phrase. I say it multiple times a day. One of the benefits of aging is realizing the precious gift of love.

If you're blessed, parental love is safe and comforting. If you're blessed, you still love your spouse or significant other. Friends are beloved but I'm shocked that so few people feel comfortable using the phrase. Of course, 99 percent of the population claims to love their children yet I continue to meet people who were never told this in their childhood. Other than the times my mother hangs up on me, we always say, "I love you." I say it freely and often.

Hate is the antithesis of love. Other than the husband, when I'm feeling the hate, I don't tell anyone. What's the point? It will pass.

I used to tuck the baby in at night. (Remember, the baby is 18-years old and headed off to college.) After prayers, I turned off the light and said, "I love you." His teenage sister wouldn't allow me to tuck her in but the last words she heard from me before falling asleep were the same.

There are people who go through their entire lives without hearing this phrase. It won't be anyone in my life.

Big Fat (Fill in the Blank)

The husband and I discovered long ago that all insults are more impactful with the words, "Big fat" in front on them. Another example of our demented humor.

When we do the crossword and I win, he calls me, "Big fat cheater."

When we are in bed, he elbows and calls me, ""Big fat snorer."

If a story gets twisted, we both call each other, "Big fat stupid."

I told the mother-in-law a story the other day. She called me, "Big fat liar." Apparently, she's eavesdropping again.

My heart warms a bit when the husband calls me "Big Fat (whatever)" I feel the love.

A Motherless Boy

Andrew Speaker is the man who made the news because he has a drug-resistant strain of tuberculosis (TB.) Ignoring doctor's orders, he jetted out and in of the U.S., possibly exposing hundreds of people to his illness. He's in the doghouse with the federal government and the CDC.

I know a little bit about TB. My fraternal grandmother died from it, after spending years in a sanitarium. I'm not sure that my father has any true memories of his mother, other than visiting her in "the place." He was shuffled around. His two older sisters doted on him.

He eventually had a stepmother. You remember the saying we were all taught as children -- If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all. I have nothing to say.

I'm sure his father loved his children, in his own way. Unfortunately, he was cold and devoid of any true emotion. He let his wife call the shots. Even in his later years, he couldn't show affection.

I'm trying to figure out how this motherless boy grew into a such a compassionate parent and considerate human being.

I can't identify with losing a mother at a young age. I can't imagine having no role models. I've never gone a day in my life without someone telling me that they loved me.

Being loved should not be a secret. I rarely get off the phone or sign off an email to friends and family without telling them I love them. In person, I hug a lot. Even if I'm cranky, I tell the husband that I love him every day.

I'm pretty sure I learned this from my father.