Is It Miss, Ms. or Mrs.?

You know those forms where you have to check: married, single, or divorced? I like to check them all. I've been them all so I'm not lying. Do you think transgender people check male and female? When they give you the option of temporary address and permanent address, I like to put my current street address under temporary and then write, "Heaven, I hope" in the permanent box.


How about the salutation box? Your choices are Mr., Miss, Ms., or Mrs. Again, I have often checked all the female options. If you're a man, checking that box tells no one anything. As a woman, checking Miss says, "I'm single." Checking Ms. says, "I'm hanging onto my own identity." Checking Mrs. says, "I'm married." This is way too much information for a woman to provide when a man only has to check Mister.


I must write Miss Manners because I am very confused about the use of the term, "Mrs." My simple, but adequate, education taught me that the term literally meant "wife of..." So in those terms, this would be right:

Mrs. John Smith, (wife of John Smith)
Mrs. John Smith, (widow of John Smith)

This would be wrong:

Mrs. Susan Smith (Is she married to herself?)
Mrs. Smith (when she and John divorced eons ago.)

During our years of living with the oldies, there were two Mrs. Romans in this house and we both carried the title with pride. Callers were often confused but we got a giggle out of it. The Belle used to inspect me before a big event for the husband and say, "Remember, you are Mrs. Roman."


I won't even tell you how much I hate those boxes where you have to declare your age bracket.