A Thong Thing

My friend Patsy just informed me that women must have panties for their burial. What lobbyist got this done? Who cares what kind of underwear they're wearing? Who cares if they're wearing underwear? If I ever get a moment, I may write my congressmen about this. It is absurd.

There's been a lot of nakedness around here in the last couple of years. All vanity is gone.

Sometimes you take stuff out of the dryer, trying to be helpful. But if you knew my mother-in-law, you would know that she was often perplexed with that wisp of material.

She's still with us, but not for long. I'm tempted to run to Victoria's Secret and buy her black, lacy thongs. She may be a Southern Belle but she's a kicky girl too.

Writing an Obit

In Journalism school, one of your first assignments is learning to write an obituary. It's good writing experience, plus you learn to do a little research. Every journalist (with credible training) has written numerous obits.

The husband (the boss of me) is handing out assignments. Call this person! Figure this out! Then he said, "Would you please start a draft of her obituary?"

I am a writer by trade but in this moment, I am the daughter-in-law. I'll do it for Big Daddy but I am struggling. I do not want to write about her military experience, her nursing career, her stellar ability to maneuver wifedom and motherhood. Here's what I want to write:

She

is the ultimate southern belle.
Trying to out cranky each other made us laugh and cry.
She's a clothes horse and I will miss watching her shop or try on clothes.
There is no wife on earth who has been a more fierce protector of her husband.
She's been the "leap the fence" kind of Mom and Grandma.
Her huge family always knows that the sister is there for them any time.
She is cute, kicky and sassy.

She did not give birth to me but I am losing a mom.

So, I must get back to the regular obit. We probably won't include much of the above. But, I've said it.