Practicing

When I was in kindergarten, you had to pass some basic skills test to graduate to grade school. One of these skills was skipping. I couldn't do it. I did some weird combination of a 1/2 skip, walk and jump. So, my diligent parents proceeded to skip around the house until I finally got it. I have no idea why this is such a vivid memory but it cracks me up to this day.

In my dancing days, my mother would pick me up from class and we would often stop at the grocery. I would be practicing my grand jetes through the aisles until she rapped me on the head. I used to be able to tuck my ankles behind my head. My dad would say, "The boys will love you." (He was KIDDING!) My mom would smack him on the head.

In grade school, I had to go to the doctor for booster shots. My mom caught me sterilizing a safety pin with alcohol and sticking myself. (I HATE NEEDLES.) She was appalled. I was practicing. (I told you I'm slightly autistic.)

I think the days of putting my ankles behind my head are over. I must be better about my fear of needles because I can stand a shot or having blood drawn, although I still hate it. I can still skip. I skip out on the oldies all the time.

Duck and Cover

I went to grade school in the late 60s. The Cold War was raging and we had these little drills to "duck and cover." That involved curling yourself in a ball and sliding under your desk. Yeah, that's going to help in the event of a nuclear attack! In junior high, we did a similar drill in front of our lockers. I thought it was stupid then and I'm still convinced it was pointless. It just made a bunch of administrators feel like they were in control of the situation.

We were afraid of the wrong things. Yes, there were people who wanted to destroy the USA and yes, there were serious threats. There still are. September 11, 2001 was horrible and I'm afraid we will have more of those days. But I think it's more likely to be your day to day life that will do you in.

When I have a bad day, "duck and cover" comes in handy. It's usually not because of Russia or Cuba. I can't even blame the situation on the Middle East. I was trained in grade school -- when you're in a bad situation, duck and cover! Maybe it wasn't a waste of time after all.