Surrounded in Love

Many of my girlfriends are creative with decorating. I am not. I rely heavily on their advice.

My favorite decoration is photographs. There is not a room in my home without a ton of them. I will be the first to admit it's a little over the top.

Suddenly I realized why Hangdog's room seems so stark to me. Beyond the obvious absence of his wife, there is nothing personal in his room.

They always said, "Sheri will fix it." I'm on a mission. I'm framing a few photos of their younger years, their wedding, their sons and their grandchildren. He may not be able to see them but I want every visitor and every caregiver to know that this man has a family, has a history and is surrounded by people who love him.

Call Me Sir

My girlfriend told me a funny story about her husband. He was making fun of their neighbor because the grandkids call him Papaw. It's a fine name but we Baby Boomers get a little weird about names like Grandpa, Papaw, etc. It might make us seem old and we're not ready to be old.

Her husband decided that his (yet-to-be) grandchildren will call him, "Mr. England."

Another one of my friends expected her grandmother name to be Millie. Before her daughter had children, the son-in-law referred to her as Millie, (Mother-In-Law=MIL) but then the grandchildren started coming and now she's Dah. Go figure. She didn't get a vote.

Another friend used her initials -- CC. It went from CC to Chi Chi to Grandma Chi Chi.

I will probably be thrilled if anyone calls me Grandma. But just in case I need a back up plan, I'm going to use my initials SRR. If you blur it out and let it roll off your tongue, there could be children running around who call me "Sir."

Mome

You never know who's going to influence your life. Or, who's going to give you a nickname.

I got to be the first grandchild on my mother's side of the family. I nicknamed my grandmother "Bobbye." No one knows why. My friend Carol's grandchildren call her "Grandma Chi Chi." Big S's grandchildren call her "Da." Her husband is "Boo." My friend Cynthia's mother is "Mome." I used to call her Mrs. Summers but after a few years of nudging us to call her Mome, it stuck.

It's been almost 20 years since I first met Mome. She has a full family, tons of friends and she certainly doesn't need me in her circle. Occasionally, I stick myself in there anyway. She has always welcomed me with open arms.

At her 90th birthday party, I was honored to sit beside her. She allowed me to cut her meat. She allowed me to dig through her handbag for something she needed. She trusts me and I feel blessed.

In the early days, we used to go to the lake cottage with our friends, little kids, dogs, etc. -- and Mome. We've spent many years sharing stories, sharing a bathroom, sharing books and gossip. She is always a sport. We might not eat until 9:00 or later. She just hung out like a trooper.

Yesterday, my girlfriend (Mome's daughter,) took her to the lake to see the improvements they've made to the cottage. A wheelchair and a walker were involved. Her vision is extremely limited. Her range of movement is skewed. Yet, a trip to the lake was thrilling, I imagine. I've spent some time moving oldies in wheelchairs and dealing with walkers. I've coordinated it with airlines and hospitals. I need to buy this girl a drink!

During their visit yesterday, Mome told her daughter that it was her last visit to the lake. That's probably true. When someplace has been a part of your heart and history for 90 years, I can't imagine making this declaration.

Here are some of the things I've learned from Mome:

Milk cartons do not belong on the table
BenGay cures it all
Good manners will carry you a long way
A little gossip is ok, as long as you're not malicious

Calling someone Grandma seems to be passe. I'm not anxious for grandchildren but when they come ... if I get a vote ... I want them to call me Mome.

On The Road Again

If you live anywhere between Indiana and Texas, look out. The oldies are on the road.

I would've placed a bet that she couldn't guilt one of the grandchildren into accompanying them. Once again, I underestimated her. Our nephew flew in last night and he'll share in the driving and navigation. You know how you can read someone's face? His had dread all over it. Don't get me wrong, he adores his grandparents but trapped for two weeks with them? Yuck. As we were loading the car this morning, he told me that he felt sick. I said, "Duh!"

I have a little experience being trapped with the oldies. I wish I had a lot of money because this kid deserves a treat. Even our son said, "I can't believe he agreed to do this. Better him than me."

They packed enough stuff to survive for a year. Yet, she almost left without her cell phone. I threatened to whack her if she doesn't keep it with her and charged. She laughed and called me a Big Fat Liar.

I All Done

Yes, it's grammatically incorrect. I love it anyway. It's succinct and makes the point. No clarification needed.

One of the workout girls shares stories of her grandchildren. (Five under 5-years old.) This is the eldest's favorite expression. When we work out, sometimes she decides to sit down and just drink her coffee. She announces, "I all done."

I wish I had known this phrase in my 20s and 30s. It could have saved me from multiple ridiculous conversations. Life would have been so simple. End a bad relationship? I all done. Meeting gone wrong? I all done. Boring conversation? I all done.

It's rather sad that I had to learn this from a toddler.

The next time the oldies come toward me with a wad of papers and a task list ... I all done.