Two Holidays on the Same Day

It's not only Easter, it's also the husband's birthday today. He's never big on acknowledging his birthday but it seems especially odd to be celebrating his birthday when we just returned last night from burying his father.

My routine is completely off. I like knowing what we're doing year after year for various holidays. I tend to stick to the same menus and I welcome the traditional rituals. Not this year.

I didn't make it to church. Frankly, I was too exhausted to drag my sorry self to the shower to make it in time. I'm sure I've disappointed my parents -- again. I did not make it to the grocery so we are not having ham and the rest of our traditional menu. We're having spaghetti, salad and bread, supplied by my mother. I did not make Big Daddy's favorite cake to honor his birthday. But, my mother did. I did not get around to shopping for a small gift. I did buy a card and now I can't find it.

We will gather with my parents and the baby. We will play games until the husband tires of it. He gets to make that call since it's his day. We will spend a little time with the baby and it will not be enough.

I haven't forgotten that it's Easter. But for a creature of habit like me, it sure doesn't feel like it. The oldies ruined my Easter last year. This year, I've done it all by myself.

Let Me Check with My Husband

Have you ever tried to master a new language? I took Spanish in high school and college but I learned very quickly that I did not master it. At best, I can do Pig Spanish.

I'm trying to learn a new language and behavior. It's called, "Ask the husband." This is as foreign to me as you asking me to speak Latin. My brain doesn't go there. The good news is this -- neither does his. We're not permission seekers; we're announcers:

Oh, by the way, I'm going on a golf trip next week.
Oh, by the way, the girlfriends are going to the lake and I'm going too.
Oh, by the way, I need you to show up for this dinner or XYZ event.
Oh, by the way, the oldies have this appointment and it's your turn.

On Saturday, I made an impromptu decision to invite some friends over on Sunday to watch our local football team. Chili and sandwiches. Easy enough. I started calling a few friends and they each said, "Let me check with the husband and I'll call you back." The husband in this house did not have a clue that I was planning this little shindig. I knew he wouldn't care and I was right. He thought it was a great idea.

The husband likes it this way. He keeps track of his office appointments and band gigs. I keep track of the rest. Like clockwork, he asks me every morning, "Do we have anything on the schedule for tonight?" Or he announces, "I have band practice." Sometimes it's dinner with a client or some other function. He has never asked, "Do you mind ...?"

But, sometimes our schedules are not in sync. Or one of us will make a decision that the other disagrees with. It's frustrating and I don't like it. So, I decided to try a new behavior. I'll check with the husband. I've only done it twice and both times, he looked at me like I'd just flown in from Pluto.

"Why are you asking me? I don't care."

The oldies discuss everything to death. It's futile and slightly ridiculous. She's going to do it her way. Still, it's probably more polite than our way. So, I'm going to take baby steps in learning this new behavior. I'm not sure I have the stamina. Plus, when the husband gives me that puzzled look, I want to whack him.