Snow Days

We're still digging out from the 15-plus inches of snow we received Tuesday night and Wednesday. The city is slowly coming back to life but the first day was a nightmare for many.

The kindness of neighbors continues to amaze me. My father is no longer on the sick pillow but still recovering from pneumonia. Twice he's gone outside to shovel and neighbors run over to send him in the house. Even I have done some shoveling but when I told a friend, he didn't believe me.

Do you remember the feeling of waiting to hear if school was cancelled for the day? I swear a collective cheer could be heard throughout my childhood neighborhood once we knew it was a snow day. It was too dangerous to tromp to the bus stop or walk to school but we could be suited up and out to play in minutes. Sledding, making snow angels, building snowmen or just romping. It was all such fun. Although I will admit to being a weenie about sledding. High speed was never my goal and I always feared hitting a tree. Life can't be all fun -- I recall being knocked off a sled or two. Then it's take a break, have some cocoa, then bundle up for round two.

Snow days for adults have less appeal. We worry about straining our back while shoveling. Frankly, I worry about the old bird across the street who reshovels the end of her driveway. Is this really worth the risk at her age? When my prior oldies (the Belle and the Captain) lived with us, they could fall for no reason at all. Walking through the house was a fall waiting to happen. Yet this neighbor who is older than they were is out there on a mission.

We worry about the condition of the roads. We worry about other drivers. I am always certain I will get stuck and I usually do. Hot chocolate doesn't seem like enough of a reward for risking my life behind the wheel. Nine layers of clothing make most of us look and feel like the Goodyear blimp -- never my fashion goal.

I don't wish to be a child again but I wouldn't mind having a moment of the pure ecstasy associated with snow days.

Is the Grass Greener?

My next door neighbors have two young children and an aging dog, Winston. He is gray and old (the dog, not the husband) and I'm thinking his vision is not quite what it used to be. He wanders. He sometimes wanders over here.

The neighbors were preparing for a party, complete with caterers and valet parking. Greeters in white jackets and waiters with trays.

I was doing laundry and hanging unmentionables in the trees. (They can't see my backyard so I was safe.) I did sort of drape myself over the fence as a voyeur.

Then I sat on the patio with underwear flapping in the air and Winston decided to come back over. Winston wanted to party with me.

A Pasadena Dance

The husband's band played last night. It was a gorgeous night for an outdoor concert. Perfect weather and a big crowd. I could've stayed all night... well, actually I did.

In addition to dancing my feet off, I was dancing down memory lane. Many of my childhood friends and neighbors were there. The Pasadena gang was in full force. My sister coordinated this and she was there with her husband and her real parents. Her younger sister, who was a flower girl in my first wedding, was there with her husband. Another baby, who is now a grown man, was there and I dragged him on the dance floor. Then I lapsed into Oldieville and said, "I remember your dad sitting on our front porch and telling us you were born."

I had flashbacks. Rich and Kim were two of the neighborhood gang I used to run with. Last night, you would've thought we were 8-years old again. We may be in our 40s but the party hasn't stopped. They come by it honestly. Their parents rarely left the dance floor and I'm enthralled with Nick, who has a couple of decades on me, yet he has all the best moves.

Joker

As of today, the movie "Dark Knight" is still obliterating box office records. I won't see it. It's not my kind of movie. But I've seen the trailer and read the interviews. Heath Ledger plays the Joker and some say he may be nominated for an Oscar. Another Joker struck down too soon.

We play Joker too. My parents and several of their friends have a standing game on Sundays. My mother discovered this game and ordered it or gave the information to all of us.

We crashed the Joker party on my mother's birthday. I was shocked about several things:

We managed to surprise her.
I managed to get the husband off the golf course.
They are super serious about this game. Even as people came in and out to wish my mother a happy birthday, players would zone them out as they plotted their "strategery."

The most fun for me was playing with neighbors and friends I don't see very often. It's amazing how those relationships come full circle.

Impromptu Parties

If you're with the right group of people, a party can break out at any time. I live with an "out there" person. A lot of my friends can turn any occasion into a party. I used to think I was a victim of circumstance but now I accept that I am often the instigator.

Jan has a routine that cracks me up. She will call twice on the home phone. If I do not answer, she will call twice on my cell phone. If I do not answer, she will walk into my kitchen. When a girl needs her girlfriend, the barriers go away. Strong people just knock them out of the way. The message is, "I will find you." I am always relieved to be found.

Houseboy came in for a cold drink after spending many hours loading the fallen tree and many limbs into the chipper. (Abby calls him Poolboy, although I do not have a pool.) My next door neighbor's daughter, and my friend, came over with her puppy. We passed him around like old women do with an infant. I played referee with my maniac dog.

The iPod was rocking. We discussed children and dogs and storm damage. It was an impromptu party and the most fun I've had in weeks.

Convertible People

I will never own a convertible. I'm not one of those people. On some peripheral level, I understand the appeal. It's probably like motorcycle enthusiasts: the wind in your hair ... the sun beating down on you ...

If I want to feel the sun, I'll go to the pool or I'll go on vacation. Don't get me started on the wind in my hair. I don't have convertible-friendly hair. The wind can mess with it on a good day. After a ride in a convertible, I bear a strong resemblance to Gilda Radner playing Rosanne Rosannadanna on SNL.

My friend and neighbor just bought a new convertible. I think it's her third. She is kind and will often let me ride with her to a mutual destination. She laughs at me because I spend the entire trip holding my hair.

To the Rescue

It took me almost two years to impress on the mother-in-law that she needs to take her cell phone when she leaves the house. Then many people started complaining that they couldn't reach her or they left a message on her cell phone which she didn't retrieve. So I suggested that she might want to keep it handy.

Me and my helpful tips!

They are leaving in four hours. She informed us last night that she dropped her cell phone in a sink full of water. Our attempts to dry it out have failed. It's toast. Her grandsons have to be able to reach her since they're all arriving on different flights. Well, I guess they could request a loud speaker announcement: Two young men looking for two oldies!

Once again, I have been rescued. My neighborhood angel is headed to the vicinity of the cell phone store so she offered to take it and see if they'll swap it out. Or just get a new one with the same number.

I realize I could've gone but I am on patrol. The packing will be completed. No one is going to fall on my watch today. They must get on that plane.

Everyone should have a Mr. Bradley

One more story about my childhood neighborhood ...

Mr. Bradley was the self-appointed neighborhood watchman. This was before the days of community coalitions or gated community councils. This was before people banded together to pay private patrol officers to guard the neighborhood. This was before living in a "secure" area was a goal.

Children creating mischief or strangers in the area were immediately on his screen. He knew eveyone's phone number and did not hesitate to call and ask, "Is everything ok?"

I do not live in a gated community. But, I do have a Mr. Bradley. She lives next door. I hope I return the favor. Good neighbors who look out for your safety and well being are becoming a thing of the past. If it weren't for good friends and neighbors, we would've never known of the fiasco this morning.

When Mr. Bradley passed away, they put his cordless phone in the casket with him. (Most of the numbers had been rubbed off due to years of use.) A fitting tribute to a man who truly understood the concept of neighbors.

It Can Always Get Worse

You know how some days end and as your head hits the pillow you think, tomorrow has to be a better day. Then you find out the joke's on you.

Yesterday was dismal.

The mother-in-law was determined to go for a hair appointment. In addition to the fact that she can barely walk, we are still dealing with icy side streets and somewhat treacherous conditions. I tried everything: pleading, guilt, bitchiness. Nope, she's going to go. At least I convinced her to leave Hangdog at home.

Their car was covered in ice and snow so I attempted to clean it off. All the while my back is rebelling. As I'm scraping and brushing snow, the Ice Man Cometh. The Unabomber came out to clean off the car. (Man with a cane, icy patches -- you get the picture.) Then I resort to ordering: Get back in the house!

She comes out marching. Well, as much marching as you can do on ice. Jaw on edge, the stubborn look in her eye. And I resigned myself to the fact that she's going to do what she wants to do. I saw the car headed out of the driveway so I went back to work. The next thing I know, I walked by a front window and I see their car in my front yard. Two very helpful gentlemen who happened to be working across the street immediately ran to her assistance. I ran out with a shovel and get this ... she was waiting for them to dig her out so she could still go!

I took her by the arm and she did the 5-year old arm wrench. Let go of me! As I pointed out every patch of ice, she said with annoyance, "I see it!" She was very angry with me so the happy family dinner I had planned was a little chilly. We had fun with the baby and a yummy meal but conversation was a little stilted.

Today, it became even more interesting.

We were awakened at 5:00am because our doorbell rang. It was a neighbor, out walking his dog, and he was concerned that somebody's grandpa is walking around in the street at the end of our driveway. The husband got him in the house and there was some confusion about where the mother-in-law was. I found her. She had gone back to bed.

Then I looked out the laundry room window and noticed their car wasn’t where I left it. So, I walked outside and found it in the ditch by our mailbox.

Apparently they were trying to go to an 8:00 VA appt. (unbeknownst to us). When the car went in the ditch, she left him outside to wait for the tow truck, put her nightgown back on and went back to bed. He was so disoriented, he was babbling (although making more sense than her.)

She swears she called her insurance company for a tow (????) but when we called they have no record of it. So, we don’t know if she called anyone at all. The husband got the car out of the ditch.

She orders him around and he follows orders. Maybe she did tell him to wait for the tow truck. I honestly don't know. But I'm pretty sure she wouldn't want him pacing the icy streets for hours. Without my neighbors' interception, he would've followed her orders and stayed. Or fallen. Or had frostbite. Or worse.

What would we do without kind neighbors? My friend and next-door neighbor happened to be outside with her dogs so she can attest that I am not embellishing. The neighbor who notified us came back to make sure we found her.

The oldies are supposed to go to Texas tomorrow. The relatives in Texas have no idea of what is headed their way.

Friends in High Places

I have always known that I am blessed. I grew up surrounded in love. I've made more than my share of mistakes and I've always had people in my corner. The husband and the children are supportive, even when they're rolling their eyes at my many quirks. My parents provide goodies and gifts. They have turned themselves inside out to help whenever they can. My girlfriends are there (every day!) for advice and counsel about every aspect of life. Many of my girlfriends are also living with the quandaries associated with elder parent care.

Living with the oldies has added a new dimension to friendship. Our doctor, who is also a personal friend, now regularly stops by to check on them. One of our attorneys, who is also a personal friend and neighbor, often provides referrals and advice. I could go on ... judges, dentists, more attorneys, accountants ... they are all so willing to jump in and help. (The husband hangs with some pretty good company.)

I never want to take advantage of these friends. Yet, it doesn't stop me from picking up the phone.