Nine Pairs of Shoes

I was reading an article the other day. Not anything to increase my knowledge of middle eastern politics or why civilizations fail. This was more important. It was about fashion. The article said the average man owns five pairs of shoes and the average woman owns nine pairs. I went back to re-read that sentence.

Who is this average woman? Certainly, no one I know. Were they just counting flip flops? Were they just counting black shoes? Maybe it was a typo and they meant to say this average woman owns nine pairs of boots or nine pairs of sandals.

I did a little survey in my head.

Work heels: More than nine
Flats: Multiply by 3
Flip/Flops and shoes to wear with swim suits: More than nine
Boots (Dressy, casual, tall, short, snow and rain appropriate:) Multiply by 3
Black Tie/Cocktail shoes: More than nine
Slippers: LESS than nine (Whew!)
Athletic shoes: Exactly nine

The husband owns more than five pairs of shoes. Are we shoe gluttons? The difference is that the husband is a shoe snob and his are all quite expensive. He likes name brands and Italian leather. My shoes run the gamut from $2 flip flops to the occasional splurge.

Several years ago, the husband worked with a man who put those rubber shoe condoms over his shoes before he went outside. The husband said to me, "Why he feels the need to protect those $20 shoes is beyond me."

The Lure of Target

I love going to Target. I actually fantasize about it. I'm trying to exercise some self-control because I always get into trouble. (I have never walked into a Target without spending $100 minimum. Some trips have rivaled the national debt of small countries.) I am not a shopper but there's something about Target -- I want it all! Even the cat toys look appealing and I don't own a cat.

Yippee Yah Hoo! Today, I went to Target.

The first thing that hits you at my local Target is the dollar section. A lot of it is goofy stuff for kids but occasionally they put some good stuff in there. Forget Vegas, I hit the jackpot at Target. Readers of all strengths and multiple colors for $1. What? One dollar? I bought three pairs.

Some people enjoy buying designer shoes at $300 a pop. I bought two cute pairs of flats for $12.99 each.

I bought a pair of jeans for $22.99. I own jillions of jeans but I tried them on, liked them and made the executive decision to own them.

The rest of my list was boring: paper products, dog food, etc. I can be mesmerized in these sections too.

In the pet section, I did not escape with just food. A couple of treats, a new toy, and Oh, look at this dog cushion on sale for $12.99. Maybe I'll stick that in my office for Gabby. Yep, I bought it.

The oldies love to go to Walmart. I hate Walmart. I have had so many bad experiences with clerks, merchandise, and the clientele that I refuse to go there.

Even with my diversions, I managed to escape Target with a bill of $150. I get to back in a month and a half!

The Dork

Last night, the husband and I were driving to one of the band gigs. The person next to us in traffic was a middle-aged man, driving a yellow VW bug. There were fake flowers in the built-in dashboard vase. When he got a few feet ahead of us, we saw that he had a multitude of ribbons -- Support our Troops, Breast Cancer, etc. He also had a vanity license plate. He might as well have a "kick me" sign on his back.

I said to Big Daddy, "I'll bet he's wearing bad shoes." Big Daddy said to me, "He'll never qualify as a bad boy."

Shoes

What is the deal with women and shoes? I will be the first to admit that I own too many shoes.

When I was headed off to college, my dad had a rare meltdown as he counted the pairs of shoes I was taking.

Yesterday, I was asked to be a fashion consultant for the mother-in-law. (A regular job that I've come to enjoy.) As I dug through her shoes, I realized that she has almost as many shoes as I do.

Is it a weight thing? Your clothing size may fluctuate but hey, you can always buy shoes.

The workout girls go to Phoenix every year. We go to our favorite discount place. The moment the gate goes up, we head for the shoes.

Big Daddy also thinks I own too many coats.

Silver and Gold

My grandmother -- the sane one, not the nutty one -- had a plaque in her living room with this old saying:

"Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver and the other is gold."

This is a story about three young girls who managed to find, hang on to and thrive in a golden friendship.

The first one I met in kindergarten or first grade. I sat directly behind her and I was fascinated with her hair. Not only was it thick and beautiful, but her mother did these elaborate braids and other styles. When she wore pigtails or a ponytail, I was constantly touching it. (Today, that's called stalking.) She lived within walking distance of our school so once we became friends, I was often invited to her house. Her mom would make us lunch or serve us an after school snack. We bonded. We competed. We grew up together.

In middle school, we met the one who completed our unit. She was a skinny little thing with a big personality. She's still our glue. When we were teenagers, she was the one who took the blame whenever we got in trouble. Today, I am the proud godmother of her children and my own mother thinks she walks on water.

We get together at least twice a year. We used to include the kids on one of our annual trips but now that they're all older, we skip that part. Now it's all about us. We catch up. We ask each other questions. We each come up with various questions, cut them into strips and put them in a pretty bag. We carry it everywhere during our trip. No subject is off limits. We used to stick pretty close to the Midwest but now that we're older, we're fantasizing about more exotic locales.

We drink some wine and eat a little junk food. We reminisce and we cry. We reconnect and leave knowing our lives are enriched with this friendship.

I don't have any significant childhood memories that don't include one or both of them. We email each other almost every day. Still, nothing compares with sitting in a hotel room and being able to say, "You've got to lose those shoes."