Mr. Pam Needs a Grocery Gift Certificate

Do you remember Pat on Saturday Night Live? Is it a man or a woman? Does he/she have a life?

In my childhood neighborhood, we had this girl who was that androgynous type. Maybe asexual is a better word. We knew she was female because her name was Pam. She lived with her parents through childhood and adulthood. At some point, my father started referring to her as "Mr. Pam" and unfortunately it caught on.

Once again, I am trying to watch Jeopardy and there is an interruption. My father is speaking to the dogs as if I were not in the room:

"Mr. Pam is eating again -- Stay out of her way."

"Married -- Divorced; Married -- Divorced -- Mr. Pam can't make up her mind."

"No Christmas presents for the doggies -- Mr. Pam is eating us out of house and home."

As if I needed another nickname, I have now become the neighborhood's new Mr. Pam. We have laughed ourselves stupid over it.

Please Don't Interrupt Jeopardy

I'm addicted to Jeopardy. I shout out the answers even when I am alone. I get increasingly louder as the show progresses.

Usually, I do not answer the phone while it is on. I enjoy that 30 minutes.

Last night, my mother felt the need to tell me something IMMEDIATELY. Of course, this was right before the Final Jeopardy question.

I found the nerve this morning to ask her to please not do it again.