It's amazing to me the number of people in this world who don't understand that anger is an appropriate emotion. Yes, anger is a feeling -- like jealousy, loneliness, fright or dread -- but it's an insight into a deeper relationship.
People can annoy me or hurt my feelings for the moment. True anger comes from a deeper place. It pulls on love, friendship, trust ... and someone letting it go or letting you down.
I refuse to participate in an angry discussion that includes name calling or how I might have let you down 20 years ago. (They just escalate to tit for tat.) I have no desire to go on Oprah or Dr. Phil to resolve personal relationships gone awry.
One of my observations about love and friendship is that the true, part-of-my-heart relationships withstand this. It's expected. If I've let you in to my experiences and feelings, chances are we will disagree at some point. Another observation is men don't do this very well. Women say, "I can't talk to you right now but I'll get over it."
Supposedly, hate is the opposite of love. Anger is a partner of love. It says, "I care enough about you to express my feelings and I think our relationship can handle it."
Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts
Monday, July 21, 2008
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Second Opinions
Anger is not a bad thing. Sometimes it spurs you into action.
You know, anger is an alternate of scared. It's the same emotion, just spun in a different direction.
My doctor (saint-in-training) welcomes second opinions. He often refers us to someone else with additional expertise in a particular area. Depending what ailment was plaguing the oldies, he would make sure we saw the right person.
My computer guy welcomes another opinion. Houseboy does not get offended if I call in someone else for a tree problem. When Dr. Gwen was my minister, she often encouraged me to talk to another minister for guidance.
People who are secure do not get offended when someone requests a second opinion. If my attorney didn't feel comfortable with a second opinion, I'd get mighty suspicious.
I'm pushy and often overstep my boundaries. If I love you, you need to accept this about me. I'm forcing someone I love to get a second opinion. When I hear, "Well, I don't want to offend Dr. So and So...." I want to scream.
Instead, I make the appointment anyway. They can get mad at me later.
You know, anger is an alternate of scared. It's the same emotion, just spun in a different direction.
My doctor (saint-in-training) welcomes second opinions. He often refers us to someone else with additional expertise in a particular area. Depending what ailment was plaguing the oldies, he would make sure we saw the right person.
My computer guy welcomes another opinion. Houseboy does not get offended if I call in someone else for a tree problem. When Dr. Gwen was my minister, she often encouraged me to talk to another minister for guidance.
People who are secure do not get offended when someone requests a second opinion. If my attorney didn't feel comfortable with a second opinion, I'd get mighty suspicious.
I'm pushy and often overstep my boundaries. If I love you, you need to accept this about me. I'm forcing someone I love to get a second opinion. When I hear, "Well, I don't want to offend Dr. So and So...." I want to scream.
Instead, I make the appointment anyway. They can get mad at me later.
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