Today I am on edge. I have many things on my mind and I'm wearing a new path in our already worn-out carpeting.
I know worrying solves nothing but someone needs to explain that to my brain. When I'm in overdrive, I start doing one thing, get distracted, and then start something else. I go to another room with a purpose in mind and then forget what I had in mind. I try to organize something (anything!) and end up with a bigger mess.
I'm going to try to channel some of this spastic energy into one of my writing projects. If that doesn't work, I will make lists. I will walk the maniac dog to burn off some energy. Then I might count something. That always makes my (self-diagnosed) slightly autistic self feel in control.
Everyone copes with worries and stress in different ways. I haven't figured out my best way.
Showing posts with label autism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label autism. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Saturday, June 14, 2008
A Fallen Hero (of Mine)
If you have no interest in politics or journalism, this will bore you. If you have the tiniest inkling of curiosity about the machinery of government or political candidates or what's going on in the Senate ... we all lost an ally yesterday.
As a news junkie, I often struggle to understand what I'm reading or hearing. "Meet the Press" is must-see TV for me. If I have other plans, I TIVO it.
About 3pm yesterday, I heard that Tim Russert had collapsed and died. I cried. I felt like I lost a friend and mentor. More than that, I lost a hero. I knew he was a great family man. I knew he was a superb journalist. I had no idea of the sense of loss I would experience. I did not know this man personally. But he sure knew me. He knew what questions to ask to get to the heart of the matter. He knew what this middle-aged, Midwestern woman wanted to know and that was usually his next question. He knew how to take the polls and the stats, reduce them to something real, and make me understand.
His dad advised him years ago, and I'm paraphrasing, "Don't talk the lingo. Don't try to sound smart. Talk to me."
I've watched far more of the coverage than any normal person would do. As a self-diagnosed, mildly autistic person, I like to see things over and over.
Like me, he had nicknames for everyone. It was clear this man was adored. Everyone from the President of the United States to movers and shakers in Washington to fellow journalists have paid tribute. I hope he knows how much this Midwestern woman admired him too.
As a news junkie, I often struggle to understand what I'm reading or hearing. "Meet the Press" is must-see TV for me. If I have other plans, I TIVO it.
About 3pm yesterday, I heard that Tim Russert had collapsed and died. I cried. I felt like I lost a friend and mentor. More than that, I lost a hero. I knew he was a great family man. I knew he was a superb journalist. I had no idea of the sense of loss I would experience. I did not know this man personally. But he sure knew me. He knew what questions to ask to get to the heart of the matter. He knew what this middle-aged, Midwestern woman wanted to know and that was usually his next question. He knew how to take the polls and the stats, reduce them to something real, and make me understand.
His dad advised him years ago, and I'm paraphrasing, "Don't talk the lingo. Don't try to sound smart. Talk to me."
I've watched far more of the coverage than any normal person would do. As a self-diagnosed, mildly autistic person, I like to see things over and over.
Like me, he had nicknames for everyone. It was clear this man was adored. Everyone from the President of the United States to movers and shakers in Washington to fellow journalists have paid tribute. I hope he knows how much this Midwestern woman admired him too.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Better Living Through Pharmaceuticals
Is it my imagination or is everyone on some happy pill?
I am not a doctor, although my doctor will tell you I like to pretend I am. There are jillions of kids being diagnosed with ADD or ADHD. (Here's a pill.) There are millions of people being diagnosed as depressed or bi-polar. (Here's a pill.) Now, there's a commercial on television about Restless Leg Syndrome. (There's a pill.) If you're jittery or on edge, I'll bet your doctor will give you a pill. And what about autism? I have no doubt it's a legitimate disease but come on. Some children are just high strung. They do not have ADD, ADHD or Autism. My leg twitches at night. I do not have Restless Leg Syndrome (if there is such a thing) and I do not take a pill. I just kick Big Daddy.
The oldies self medicate and occasionally over medicate. It's terribly frightening to me. I understand the urge to get some sleep but I can't go there. I can barely take a pill.
I had a conversation the other day with a friend and he/she said their marriage was so much better once the spouse starting taking a happy pill. I will not tell Big Daddy about this conversation because he will have me on drugs so fast I will not know what hit me. (Just kidding!)
I am not a doctor, although my doctor will tell you I like to pretend I am. There are jillions of kids being diagnosed with ADD or ADHD. (Here's a pill.) There are millions of people being diagnosed as depressed or bi-polar. (Here's a pill.) Now, there's a commercial on television about Restless Leg Syndrome. (There's a pill.) If you're jittery or on edge, I'll bet your doctor will give you a pill. And what about autism? I have no doubt it's a legitimate disease but come on. Some children are just high strung. They do not have ADD, ADHD or Autism. My leg twitches at night. I do not have Restless Leg Syndrome (if there is such a thing) and I do not take a pill. I just kick Big Daddy.
The oldies self medicate and occasionally over medicate. It's terribly frightening to me. I understand the urge to get some sleep but I can't go there. I can barely take a pill.
I had a conversation the other day with a friend and he/she said their marriage was so much better once the spouse starting taking a happy pill. I will not tell Big Daddy about this conversation because he will have me on drugs so fast I will not know what hit me. (Just kidding!)
Friday, July 27, 2007
17 Steps
This is in no way a comment about people with autism or parents with autistic children. But, I am fascinated with it and I'm self-diagnosing here ... I have a touch of it. Not enough to become Rain Man, just a smidge.
When I can't sleep, I play numbers games in my head. I remember numbers in a way that is bizarre. I spend my day playing with words; I spend my nights with numbers, trying to bore myself into slumber land.
Muscle memory is a weird thing. I've been going to my friend's lake cottage for almost two decades. I know every step and every dip. This year, they redid the patio, walkway and the steps to the pier with some new space-age material. It's fabulous, yet, it has me stumbling. (Stupid reading glasses don't help.) Muscle memory kicks in. I'm supposed to step down here. No!
My friend told me it's 17 steps from the patio to the pier. Now I can count and that helps.
When I can't sleep, I play numbers games in my head. I remember numbers in a way that is bizarre. I spend my day playing with words; I spend my nights with numbers, trying to bore myself into slumber land.
Muscle memory is a weird thing. I've been going to my friend's lake cottage for almost two decades. I know every step and every dip. This year, they redid the patio, walkway and the steps to the pier with some new space-age material. It's fabulous, yet, it has me stumbling. (Stupid reading glasses don't help.) Muscle memory kicks in. I'm supposed to step down here. No!
My friend told me it's 17 steps from the patio to the pier. Now I can count and that helps.
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