People Don't Know Their Influence -- Part One

There's an old saying about children ... "they don't do what you say, they do what you do." Sad, but probably true.

I think it's possible for many people to go through life without realizing they are being watched. I've had great bosses, great ministers, great friends. I'm watching. I'm learning.

Nick Seats allowed me to follow him around in his agency while I was in high school and college. (Like a Labrador Retriever with her tongue hanging out.) He inspired me.

The mean, mean teacher I had in my freshman year of college told me I would never cut it. She thought I wasn't tough enough. Wanna Bet?

Several years ago, a daughter of my friend had to write a paper about someone she admires. When she chose me, I was honored. Another friend brought me back to earth by saying, "She probably likes the way you smoke."

The Pasadena gang of my childhood still influences me. (Both the children and the parents.)

The obvious one is my parents. Love abounded in our household, along with a strong dose of morals and responsibility. But my favorite influence is that they both know how to laugh with abandon.

My goldies (bestest friends in the whole wide world) taught me what friendships can be. They can span decades. They can survive hard times. They can transport you in time and allow the inner child to emerge. They can hold you hostage with photos or notes they have kept.

Syd Cook taught me what a boss is supposed to be. He spoiled me for anyone else. He exemplifies traits I aspire to have. He also taught me that when your plane is sliding on an icy runway, headed for Lake Michigan, it's ok to grab hands and say, "This is not how I planned to f+++ing die." (We obviously survived.)

My girlfriend group has no idea how much I study them. I learn everything from style to parenting (or grandparenting) tips. I am the perpetual student at their feet.

There are many more. That will be Part Two. Stay tuned.

Life Wisdom (from Bill Gates)

This is attributed to Bill Gates. I have no idea if that is true.

He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2 : The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice president with an expense account until you earn both.

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss.

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are n! ow. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time..

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Bill Gates is my age. I'm a fleck of sand compared to his accomplishments. But I like it that we agree on these things.

Mentors

I hope you have had a mentor or two or twelve. If you are lucky enough to have had one, I hope you have returned the favor.

As you know, I am blessed with all kinds of role models. Parents, in-laws, Exes, Children, and most certainly friends. I get great satisfaction in learning from them all. I will never understand people who think they know it all. There are certain situations where I am sure that I am the smartest person in the room but yet, I'm still learning.

I've had lots of bosses. Weird and quirky ones, demented ones, professionally-driven ones, etc. I've been a boss and I'm pretty sure these same adjectives would've been used to describe me.

And then there was Syd ...

I can't describe his laugh. I worked for him about 12 years. My office was always around the corner and far away from his but I could hear it and it made me laugh. Plus, I knew he was headed my way. In the early days, everyone smoked. We used to sit at his conference table and calculate budgets or write business plans. When we moved into the new bank building (non-smoking,) we took a lot of walks.

The memories might bore you so I will only share a few:

An extremely bumpy flight (on Christmas Eve) with Syd. We were the only two people on the bank plane. We were facing each other and all 6'3" of him was flailing. He said to me, "This isn't really the way I planned to die."

A meeting with idiotic people where he stood up and announced, "I don't know what the @#**** you people are thinking. He left the room. I followed and we stood in the supply closet and laughed our a**** off.

For a while, he had the most bizarre assistant ever (inherited) and he would completely lose it. She bought him pink notepads and used to rearrange things in his office. Then she would deny it and you could hear him in Canada ... "Yes, you did!"

When the gossip chain let us know that the husband (my husband) was divorcing and I went into Syd's office and said, "Who would date him? He doesn't have a great track record." He reminded me of this when he received our wedding announcement.

When I realized that he was the only one who could show me the ropes while also making me feel smart and talented. He never hesitated to tell me, "You could've done it a little differently," but I always felt like I was learning.

He is retired now and I hope he is having the time of his life. His wife has an incredible sense of humor so I'm sure they laugh a lot. We get to see them a couple of times a year but it's not enough for me. I miss the days of him whipping around the corner and asking, "Want to go for a walk?"