Just Like High School

For all of my years as a student, I consistently received two comments on my report card:

"Excellent student" or "Talks too much in class"

Forgive the distinction but although I did talk in class, I was responding! Someone ... usually one of the girls above had asked a question, made a comment, sent me a look or passed me a note.

Our girlfriend reunion weekend was magical. I expected it to be great and I was not disappointed. The four of us could sit in a room with nothing to do but watch paint dry and we could not run out of conversation or laughter. We ate a lot of junk and tried to fill it in with some healthy stuff. We asked our questions and they ran the gamut from funny to morose to reflective.

They all went to my church on Sunday. I tried to be an excellent student. And yes, we were a tad disruptive.

To my goldies, thank you!

Peggy Lynn

There is a fourth goldie. Or, she was supposed to be. The goldies call each other, text and email. We are not afraid to say, "I am in my closet and I am scared about my life" Until the other night, I had not spoken to Lynn in 25 years or so.

So I answered the phone to hear, "Hi Sher, it's Lynn." (Very few people call me Sher." Just hearing her voice sent me over the moon.)

I couldn't put a sentence together or gather a coherent thought. I kept picturing us in high school. I was so busy with memory lane that I could not concentrate.

She was the smartest person I knew in high school; she skipped graduation ceremonies.
She was the first person I knew to get a tattoo.
She was the first person I knew to have a baby out of wedlock, even though I personally took her for birth control.
She was the first person I ever knew to steal a car (her parents) and wreck it.
She left a toilet on my parents' lawn. Her sense of humor was contagious.

In our brief conversation, she still managed to shock me:

She does not have a computer, therefore no email.
She does not have a cell phone.
She only gives her phone number to trusted people. (I have it.)

Here's the kicker: she told me she named her second son after my father. For someone who did not spawn a boy, he seems to have a lot of people name their sons after him. She also asked, by name, about my mother. I could not tell you her parent's names if you threatened to pluck my fingernails out.

Jan and I are having lunch with her on Sunday. I cannot wait. I wish Deb would get on a plane and come along.

Transfer of Power

For an only child, I have a lot of sisters. I have my goldies. I have my girlfriends. I have ny cousins and aunts. I also have the lady above who grew up, got married and birthed three children.

Like true sisters, we sometimes have to compete or compromise. She has her own parents but she has captured a humongous part of my parent's hearts. I am so grateful for their relationship.

My parents have decided to weed through Christmas ornaments and decorations. They're downsizing. My sister has three little ones; my little ones have flown the coop. I do not need more Christmas decorations. In my will, the Christmas stuff I have will go to my sister and our children.

But ...

I'm vacillating. Some of these might be important to me.

The last time I decorated a tree with my parents, I was 17-years old. My sister has been there for most of the decorating, candy-making, etc. for more than 30 years.

If I'm honest with myself, I know she can and should take whatever she wants. I want to be the monitor. It's the control freak in me.

We've picked a date to go through stuff. She invited me. You might think I would find this offensive. Instead, I thought what a gift she is to all of us.

But, if we disagree on an ornament, I will wrestle her skinny butt to the ground and I will win.

Born to be Wild

One of my goldies recently left a comment: "You are still my wild and crazy Sheri." Yes, I am.

With grown and still growing children among us, it's interesting to see the dynamics. It's fun to rediscover the children we were. Some genetics; some environmental. They are who they are meant to be.

I am quite conservative. But, I have a wild streak. It's more fun that way.

Car Rides

My goldies get car sick. There's something about the backseat that does in people with motion sickness. They bargain with each other for shotgun. This is one of the few afflictions that doesn't affect me. I can read or bop to the music and the motion doesn't bother me. Plus, it distracts me from the husband's driving.

Lots of people have learned that a crying baby can be calmed in a car. To this day, I can count back from 60 and the baby will be sound asleep.

I feel safer with the dog in the car. When I run errands, I usually take her with me. Yesterday, I met my mother, ran a few errands and did the normal daily stuff, but I didn't have the dog. At one point, I was cleaning out the car. Maniac dog had planted herself in the passenger seat (she called Shotgun!) and was looking at me with great expectations.

We went for a long drive.

People Don't Know Their Influence -- Part One

There's an old saying about children ... "they don't do what you say, they do what you do." Sad, but probably true.

I think it's possible for many people to go through life without realizing they are being watched. I've had great bosses, great ministers, great friends. I'm watching. I'm learning.

Nick Seats allowed me to follow him around in his agency while I was in high school and college. (Like a Labrador Retriever with her tongue hanging out.) He inspired me.

The mean, mean teacher I had in my freshman year of college told me I would never cut it. She thought I wasn't tough enough. Wanna Bet?

Several years ago, a daughter of my friend had to write a paper about someone she admires. When she chose me, I was honored. Another friend brought me back to earth by saying, "She probably likes the way you smoke."

The Pasadena gang of my childhood still influences me. (Both the children and the parents.)

The obvious one is my parents. Love abounded in our household, along with a strong dose of morals and responsibility. But my favorite influence is that they both know how to laugh with abandon.

My goldies (bestest friends in the whole wide world) taught me what friendships can be. They can span decades. They can survive hard times. They can transport you in time and allow the inner child to emerge. They can hold you hostage with photos or notes they have kept.

Syd Cook taught me what a boss is supposed to be. He spoiled me for anyone else. He exemplifies traits I aspire to have. He also taught me that when your plane is sliding on an icy runway, headed for Lake Michigan, it's ok to grab hands and say, "This is not how I planned to f+++ing die." (We obviously survived.)

My girlfriend group has no idea how much I study them. I learn everything from style to parenting (or grandparenting) tips. I am the perpetual student at their feet.

There are many more. That will be Part Two. Stay tuned.

Making Cds

If you have a computer that's less than five years old, you have a CD burner. Of course, I had to ask Big Sal to help. She is my CD-burning Queen.

My gift to the goldies was a double CD with songs that meant something to us or represented our friendship. It included:

High Hopes (The Ant Song) -- Frank Sinatra
This One's For the Girls -- Martina McBride
You've Got a Friend -- Carole King
Thank You for Being a Friend -- Golden Girls theme song
I'll Be Around -- The Spinners

There are about 36 more but I won't bore you with them. I went through photo albums and made little CD covers with photos of us at various stages of life.

I made a similar gift for my father to celebrate Father's Day. Different songs and different photos but the same concept. I want my father to play these CDs and know that this woman adores him. In case he forgets, I included a couple of songs that have the name "Sherry" in them. I also added:

I Loved Her First -- Heartland
Because You Loved Me -- Celine Dion
My Girl -- The Temptations
Like a Rock -- Bob Seger

Like the other one, there are about 35 other songs. There's something about music. Some of us are lyrics people and others get absorbed in the drum or guitar solo.

Big Sal made me a CD about aging. It's called, "You're An Old B**** Now." Just reading the titles makes me laugh. Some of the songs:

You're as Cold as Ice -- Foreigner
I Keep Forgetting -- Michael McDonald
Heartache Tonight -- Eagles
Doctor My Eyes -- Jackson Browne
I Go Crazy -- Paul Davis
I'm Still Standing -- Elton John

This is the CD in my car at the moment.

Jan was driving home the other day, listening to her goldies CD. She called me and said, "I want this played at my funeral." Then she called me this morning to tell me that she is getting strength during tough times by listening to the CD. She feels surrounded by us and our friendship.

Not that I ever doubted it but it's a strong reminder of the power of music.

Are You Happy?

During our goldies weekend, we did our traditional questions in a box. We all write our questions individually and dump them in. It's not unusual to draw a duplicate question. In some way it's a validation that we're all on the same page.

Asking "Are You Happy?" is a great conversation starter. We're not going for euphoria -- just more good things than bad. Turns out we all have a bunch of unhappy stuff in our lives but it's manageable. The outlets we choose (like this girlfriend weekend) help us cope.

I'm suspicious of people who are always happy. Are they drugged? Are they in denial?

Lots of our questions made me think. Some of them have been repeated but every year brings new challenges and opportunities to remind each other that we are not alone in our various struggles.

We go from whimsical to morose. Here are a few of my favorites:

Do you wish you'd had more children?
When your marriage gets tough, what makes you stay?
What worries you the most about your kids?
Are you trying to live a greener, eco-friendly life?
Are you becoming your mother?
Shoot me if ...

It probably helps to have 30+ years under our belt. We're a safety zone.

Sex and The City

Yesterday, as part of our goldies weekend, we went to the movies. This is a huge treat for me. I generally go to the theater two or three times a year. The husband doesn't enjoy it and I always feel a little guilty about all the things that need my attention.

I used to go to the movies all the time so I guess it was my lifestyle changes in the past few years that changed that habit.

But, during our girls' weekend, guilt is not allowed. So we went to see "Sex and the City." One friend had already seen it but she was gung-ho to see it again. Another had never seen the series so she was afraid she wouldn't get it. Like a trouper, she went along. We loved it.

I did watch the series and although it occasionally made me squirm, I loved so many things:

The fifth lady -- New York City -- my favorite!

The clothing and accessories -- I do not aspire to own Blanik shoes but it's fun to watch others who do.

Their dates -- I have been married the entire time this series was on the air so I could live vicariously through their escapades and usually was very grateful to not be in that situation.

Their sense of empowerment: Whether it was jobs or men, these women were not looking for someone to save them.

Their age: These women are roughly my age. Even with their different lifestyles, I still identified with them.

Their friendship: They weren't afraid to confess failures and quirks. With all the juggling, if a girlfriend needs something -- it jumps high on the list.

It was fun to watch. It was especially touching to see it with two women who have seen me through it all.

A Cooking Fool

I try to go all out during the holidays and other special occasions. Sometimes the baby will come home from college and ask for a favorite meal -- usually chicken pot pie. The daughter has a favorite meal (pork tenderloin and fettuccine Alfredo) and the husband has perfected it.

Other times, I'm a simple eater. Since we lost the oldies, the husband and I are quite content with a piece of meat or fish and some veges. We often have hor
d'oerves and skip dinner.

But, my goldies are coming. We want to nosh. Jan had a couple of requests. I made them. Deb swears she'll never get out of her stretchy pants. I made some other appetizers too and now I've become a cooking fool. I have ingredients for two more and I will make them today. It's pure joy to cook for people who request things and relish them.

Chicken Tortilla Soup is the easiest (and one of the tastiest) soups. If you give me a recipe, I usually amend it. I make it easier. So, I will share this easy recipe, courtesy of Big Sal, with hopes that you will enjoy it.

Chicken Tortilla Soup

Your choice: Buy a rotisserie chicken and pluck the meat off. Or, use two packages of southwestern chicken strips. Cut into chunks.
2 cans or most of one box of chicken stock.
1 cup water.
Salsa Verdi (green) -- I use most or all of one jar.
1 tbsp Cumin
2 cans of Cannelloni beans (white kidney beans,) drained and rinsed.
1 can of corn, drained.

Put everything in a pot or dutch oven and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and let simmer for a bit. Put in the frig and reheat the next day.

Serve with the following sides: minced green onions, sour cream, crumbled tortilla chips, shredded cheese.

Kids love this soup. I think they like making their own combination.

So, you dump everything in a pot and then YUM! I must go cook now.