15 Years of Care Giving

My mother had two sets of parents: her biological parents (crazy Grandma and Wild Bill) and an aunt and uncle (Bobbie and Pa) who raised her and her sisters. Grandma and Bobbie were sisters; Wild Bill and Pa were brothers. This happens more often than you think.

While the husband and his two brothers were at the funeral home making arrangements on Saturday, I was flying home from Florida. I was reminiscing about the last few years -- the good, bad and ugly. My parents picked me up at the airport and we talked about care giving. We shared memories about the oldies. We shared memories about my grandparents.

My mother reminded me of something I had forgotten or chose to block out. She was a caregiver to her four parents for 15 years. I say this tongue in cheek, but she always has and always will outdo me. I resigned myself to it years ago.

I miss Hangdog and the Belle with an ache I cannot describe. I'm grieving so I burst into tears over anything and everything. Then I get angry. Mostly, there's an emptiness.

But I cannot fathom doing it for 15 years.

Lithuania

Lithuania is my new best friend. She is the care giver for my mother-in-law. Lots of other people are involved but Lithuania seems to be there all the time.

Of course, this is not her actual name. It's something more simple like LaWanda or LaThania. My mind could not process this. So, I asked her if she had any siblings named "Kenya." Thankfully, she found that funny.

Lithuania calls me multiple times a day. Sometimes it's good news; sometimes it's not. I always end the call by saying, "Tell Kenya I said hello."

Caregiving

I hope there's a special spot in heaven for people who have been caregivers. I also hope you get to spend some time alone there.

I know people who have and/or still are caring for aging parents. I know people who care for siblings. Unfortunately, I know people who have become caregivers for their ill children. (They deserve the penthouse.)

As an only child, I had my own room and a lot of privacy. I still crave that.