You Have No Right

I'm pretty laid back about most things. Every once in a while, something will cause my hackles to rise. Here's my latest list:

You Have No Right:

To touch me in a way that might be uncomfortable for me, unless you are a VERY good friend or I've taken vows with you. (I've been thrown around and dragged under tables.)

To make fun of my husband or family, unless you love them almost as much as I do. (Then it's okay.)

To take advantage of my hospitality while making comments about my housekeeping.

To think your politics supersede mine. (But, I love the conversation.)

I hereby give permission to everyone in my world to:

Correct my grammar and punctuation.

Tell me my dog is obnoxious.

Kiss me hello and goodbye. Hug me repeatedly.

Kindly tell me when I'm REALLY screwing something up.

Tell me kindred spirit stories when I'm flipping out.

Plan a trip and invite me.

One caveat. If I love you, all the rules go flying out the window. You can do whatever you want. And, you have every right to do so.

Bending The Rules

The husband and I have an agreement. When I take his car and put the dog in it, I will return it to him after it has been vacuumed. It's a harmless pact that works for us both.

Today I ran errands, met someone about a project and then popped in a car wash that was nearby. I asked about interior cleaning/vacuuming. They said no, that service is not available. Then, the nice manager came out to explain it to me again. So, I had two choices: get out of line and drive to another car wash or try to bend the rules. The conversation went like this:

Manager Man: I'm so sorry, Ma'am. Our insurance policy doesn't allow us to do interiors. We have coin-operated vacuums around the corner.

Me: I'm in a dress and this is an SUV. I have meetings to attend and I am not prepared to crawl around and vacuum. Would you please make an exception?

Manager Man: I'm afraid that would be breaking the rules, Ma'am.

Me: Do I look like a cop? Do I look like a representative from the insurance company? I'm harmless. I'll give someone a $5 tip for 2 minutes work.

Worker Man to Manager Man: I'll do it if it's ok with you Sir.

So, Manager Man winked at me and said, "Pull around."

It's kind of like the night I barged my way into the drug store/pharmacy. I become a dog with a bone. Not my best feature but hey, my car is clean.