Side by Side

Marriage is work and people will go to extremes. Some people make it look easy but they're not fooling me.

We knew the cutest couple. They were in their 70s when we met them almost two decades ago. We played golf with them and enjoyed their company for many years. They used to come to the Meatball Band's gigs. She was kicky (she used to be a Rockette) and he was dapper. Money was not an issue for them so after their children left home, they bought side by side condos. They went out to lunch every day and had a date every evening.

Think about the positives: No poking when one or the other is snoring. No morning breath. No fighting about the dog. You can say, "It's time for you to go back to your condo now."

Think about the negatives: No curling up with the person you've made vows with. No middle of the night conversations.

The husband is very urban. He's lived in many cities. When we were renovating this house, we lived downtown for a few months. I liked it; he loved it. I still need to be able to walk outside and a balcony does not count. I need feet on the ground. I need trees and a yard. I need a dog running around -- the husband does not but at least he tolerates it.

We jokingly talk about this side by side condo idea. He could keep a clean and pristine place. I could live next door and move among my piles and clutter. We could get together in the morning for coffee and the crossword. We could meet for a drink in the evening and discuss our days. Oh wait, this is what we do now.

Side by side condos sound interesting but we could never live that way. We'd be breaking into each other's homes after an interesting dream or constantly calling. I'd rather be side by side in person.

Plus, I'm pretty sure I'd still end up living with the oldies.

You Have No Right

I'm pretty laid back about most things. Every once in a while, something will cause my hackles to rise. Here's my latest list:

You Have No Right:

To touch me in a way that might be uncomfortable for me, unless you are a VERY good friend or I've taken vows with you. (I've been thrown around and dragged under tables.)

To make fun of my husband or family, unless you love them almost as much as I do. (Then it's okay.)

To take advantage of my hospitality while making comments about my housekeeping.

To think your politics supersede mine. (But, I love the conversation.)

I hereby give permission to everyone in my world to:

Correct my grammar and punctuation.

Tell me my dog is obnoxious.

Kiss me hello and goodbye. Hug me repeatedly.

Kindly tell me when I'm REALLY screwing something up.

Tell me kindred spirit stories when I'm flipping out.

Plan a trip and invite me.

One caveat. If I love you, all the rules go flying out the window. You can do whatever you want. And, you have every right to do so.