Sloppy Drinkers

We all know them. It's the guy who'll slosh you with red wine when you're wearing a white linen blouse. It's the woman who will tell you every dirty detail of her sex life and then will be mortified the next day. It's the teenager who swears he or she has never touched a drop but spends an inordinate amount of time cleaning the car the next morning.

I am not passing judgement. Wild Bill taught me that drunk dialing is one of the most fun activities. I have done it. I usually call my mother and she is mortified. Like all activities, drunk dialing has some rules:

You must call someone you love. You must tell them over and over again that you love them.
You must call at a weird time. Waking them is preferable.
You must pass the phone around so they can talk to total strangers.

I don't do this any more. My mother is probably relieved.

But, I still live with a sloppy drinker. She wears a collar and embodies destruction on steroids. You won't find her with a glass of red wine but I highly recommend not wearing white or anything linen if you come to my house.

Not Paying Extra for That

It must be a generational thing. Hangdog is obsessed with the price of everything. I am the opposite; I just want what I want.

Please keep in mind that he cannot see and has not written a check in a couple of decades. The mother-in-law kept him dutifully informed of their finances and then did whatever she chose to do.

As we were driving from the airport to the hotel in Mississippi, the husband was informed that his brother arranged for a handicapped room for Hangdog. Good idea, right? Hangdog said, "I'm not paying extra for that."

On one of our plane trips, the flight attendant asked him if he would like something to drink. "No!" was the immediate response. The husband had a drink put in front of him. (Thankfully, I was in another section of the plane.) Hangdog said, "Did they give you that for free?" Husband said, "Yes." Hangdog said, "They give you booze for free?"

The husband answered, "Dad, it's apple juice."

99 Bottles of Beer (and Wine) on the Wall

For the record, I've never taken a narcotic in my life. I've also never met a bottle of wine that didn't sound like a great idea at the time. You could serve me box o' wine and I would use Hangdog's expression: It's EXCELLENT!

The brother-in-law and his wife have left. We've accomplished some things and we're all very clear on the road ahead: bumpy and scary and sad. (And busy.)

Like the ostrich that I am, I tend to hide my head in the sand. We're all tense and scared.

We have gone through a lot of bottles of wine and beer. It's not the healthiest way to deal with the situations at hand but we did. Instead of the rational reaction to that, my first thought was, "We must restock."