Expressions I Dislike or Don't Understand

Many of us fall into the habit of using the same old expressions. I do it. Descriptive phrases should cause your mind to paint a picture. And sometimes, the picture is not one I want floating around in my brain.

A few examples:

"I've got a sh*t-pot full of work to do."
"You're sh*tting me." (This one also falls in the category of an expression I don't understand.)
"All grown up and haired over."

I dislike overused catch phrases. My current pet peeve is:

"It is what it is." I always want to respond, "According to whom?"

I understand some phrases in context but I can't quite wrap my mind around them. For example:

"Love a duck."
"Puttin' on the dog."
"Painting the town."

The husband tells a story that occurred during his service in Vietnam. I'll botch it but here's the gist of it. A serviceman was determined to need a mental evaluation. Lots of weird behavior. The base psychiatrist or psychologist was a little harsh with the husband because he had mentally checked off "crazy" in his mind. Turns out, they agreed the guy was nutso. I don't remember all of his quirks but the one that sticks in my mind is that he loved to read the dictionary. I think he had read it three or four times.

God is funny. The husband also thinks I'm nutso. Plus, I am rarely without a dictionary within reach.

My New Favorite Expression

The brother-in-law taught me this expression during their visit:

You can't argue with stupid.
They just drag you down to their level
And then beat you with experience.

I can be smart; I can be stupid. I can be as tenacious as any dog with a bone. I seem to deal with a lot of people who overcomplicate situations so I love this expression.

If anyone knows who coined this little phrase, please let me know.

Your Side

It's comforting to know someone is on your side. Sometimes the husband and I will have a discussion and one of us will say, "Please be on my side about this." It's an honest and reasonable plea so we usually comply. Or, we're very direct and say, "I can't."

The oldies never have this conversation. It is a moot point. He does what she tells him to do and she protects him like a pit bull on steroids.

Lately, I'm having a different twist on this conversation: Stay on your side.

When we visit our friend's lake cottage, the bed is smaller than our bed at home. The husband sprawls. So, I start chanting, "Stay on your side."

Occasionally, our dog will try to put her head in my lap or paw at me while I'm driving. I just say, "Stay on your side." Miraculously, this is one command she obeys.

Last night, I tried to get the bedroom remote control. The husband used two dog commands in combination: Not yours! and Stay on Your Side!