Friendship Redefined

This is going around the Internet and one of my goldies sent it to me:

1. When you are sad -- I will jump on the person who made you sad
like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt...and then help you up.

This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask;
'because you are my friend'.

I have my own version and it's a little sappier:

1. When you are sad -- You can cry on my shoulder but you might have to pay the dry cleaning bill.
2. When you are blue -- I will remind you that blue eyeshadow went out of style for people our age a long, long time ago.
3. When you smile -- I will crack a smile myself. If you're happy, it makes me happy.
4. When you're scared -- I will dream about it. I will get angry with you because you're supposed to be stronger than me. I will listen and say a prayer.
5. When you're worried -- I will fret with you. I will not let you whine. Okay, maybe a little bit...
6. When you're confused -- I'll be in the hunt. I'll google it. I'll research it. If it's emotional confusion, see number one.
7. When you're sick -- I'll bring you food, although I may leave it on the front porch.
8. When you fall -- I will remind you that you never fall or fail in my eyes.