A Friendship Story

In The Big Chill, there's a scene where the group of friends is reflecting on their friendship. One of of them says, "It's no surprise that our friendship could survive that (referring to their youth) -- it's out here that it gets tough."

The four girls in this photo have survived our childhood friendship with each other for over 3 decades. And this weekend, we have set aside a few days for our girlfriend reunion. Deb, Jan and I have done this for eons -- some years more than others. For the first time, our friend Lynn will also join us. We lost contact with Lynn for a while and are now making up for lost time.

It's not fair to give them labels but I'm going to do it anyway.

Lynn is the funny one. As young girls, she was also the brave one. I never know what will come out of her mouth. Last night she told me she was so excited about this weekend, she felt like "a d**k on a date." Not quite the phrase I would have chosen but I'm equally excited.

Deb is the serene one. People might think she's shy or quiet but she's not. She's just smart enough to assess people and situations to avoid putting her foot in her mouth. Under the surface is the teenager I remember. We all revert to high school when we gather.

Jan wears her heart on her sleeve. She would've made a great Miss America -- her passions have always been children and animals. (Plus I"m pretty sure she wants world peace too.) She also holds the unenviable position of the first person I call for almost any crisis or disaster -- real or imagined.

We all have a little bit of crossover. We can all be funny but we're not quite as "out there" as Lynn. We all have a hesitant or shy side but I'm not sure we do it with Deb's studious style. We all try to be kind but we won't measure up to Jan. We shouldn't even try.

My oldies are a little paranoid. They have heard me talk of these reunions for years and they know no topic or question is off limits. They are convinced that we might discuss them a bit. Hmmm ...

So, I toast my golden friends as I count the days until I get to spend a little while in celebration of love and laughter.

Pure of Heart

I know lots of good people. I believe most people are inherently good, although evil certainly exists too. I know a few people who are pure of heart. My parents fit this category although my mother has a mean streak.

Here's a pure-of-heart story: One of Houseboy's landscaping employees lost his mother in a tragic car accident last week. There were lots of details to attend to, not to mention that this man has been estranged from his family for quite some time. He mentioned to Houseboy that he needed to go to Goodwill to get something appropriate to wear. Not with Houseboy on the case! They finished their work and then went shopping: outfitted from head to toe, including having the pants altered. Houseboy footed the bill.

I'm occasionally pure of heart but I've got that mean streak too.

I Pick Kind

Throughout my life thus far, I have been surrounded by brilliant people. Some are phenomenally talented. Some have multiple degrees. Others have great common sense and what we used to call street smarts.

I'm awed by smart people. I want to bask in their aura and hope some of their brain cells and talents get absorbed through osmosis. I'm infinitely curious about how they became who they are. I'm not impressed with money, the huge house or the Ivy League school. I'm impressed with people who take their lot in life and use it to improve themselves and hopefully, the world.

Mostly, I am in awe of people who choose kindness. That doesn't seem to be in favor these days. We're all justifiably frightened of sexual predators, car jackers, rapists, serial killers, etc. We turn our heads and look the other way. We lock our doors and turn on the alarm. Blame the media or the Internet but I think a lot of this is blown out of proportion. We just know more now because we have access to it.

It's kind of like being struck by lightning. Yeah, it might happen but the odds are in your favor.

I crave learning and I love it when someone thinks I'm smart. But, in the end, the world would be a better place if we chose to be kind.