I Cannot Wrap My Mind Around It

This is yet another example of me wanting to ask, "Seriously?"

So a divorced woman in California has six children, the oldest is seven. (Seriously? Who has six children? What single mother has the resources for six children under age seven?) She and her children live with her parents. (Seriously? Adult moves back in with parents? Ok, I have to give her that one but I didn't bring six kids along.)

She decides she must have another child, hoping for another girl. (Seriously?) Alas, she is unmarried so she decides to undergo in vitro fertilization. (Seriously? Who is paying for that? What doctor would do that knowing her circumstances?) The quack doctor inserts multiple embryos and apparently most, if not all, take up camp. Once the multitude of future babies is discovered, the mother is offered "selective reduction" or some other glossy-phrased procedure to rid her body of too many babies. She checks the box that says, "No thank you very much." (Seriously?)

A team of 40-plus medical people delivered the babies. They thought there were seven, but surprise! there's an extra one. The mother is still recovering and the babies will be in the hospital for weeks or months. (Who is paying for this? Who will pay for the special needs that are almost certain to arise?)

In the paper the other day, the grandfather to these 14 children said something like this, "We're talking to the media now but we have a big house somewhere else and once we move there, no one will be able to find us." (Seriously? A woman with her parents AND her fourteen children will somehow become AWOL from the media?)

Her mother had the best comment (and I am paraphrasing,) "I wish she had just been a kindergarten teacher."

To top if all off, the mother filed for bankrupcy in 2008. Seriously.

MotherAunt and SisterCousin

Some of my favorite memories involve my aunts. Connie and Judy are my mother's sisters and have been a constant presence in my life. They used to babysit me, take me along on their dates, dress me up like a doll, etc. Note to Aunt Connie and Aunt Judy: Feel free to buy me pretty dresses any time.) The first time I got on a plane was to visit my Aunt Cess and her family. (Note to Aunt Cess: I still love to visit you and my cousins.) I still have frequent conversations with all of them.

The ladies posing in front of the tree are/were another generation of my mother's side of this wacky family. I can say that because I am also wacky. Front and center in this circa 1988 photo is Zelma (Bobbie,) my grandmother great aunt. Like many families, it was not uncommon for more than one sister to participate in rearing another's child/children. Grandma (on the left) gave birth to my mother and her sisters but Bobbie raised them.

Aunt Ann (next to Grandma) is the baby. She's always had the legs of a woman half her age. She and Uncle Harry have always lived nearby -- sometimes just down the street. Aunt Ann's daughters were my idols when I was in grade school. I didn't want to be like them -- I actually wanted to be them. Since I couldn't accomplish that, I would copy their mannerisms, their clothes, etc. I get to see them this weekend and I can't wait. No one laughs or makes me laugh like my Aunt Ann.

Aunt Jo (other side of Bobbie) died several years ago. I can't say I knew her well but she and my grandmother were thick as thieves. They might have been thieves for all I know; they walked a little bit on the wild side. Like my grandmother, Aunt Jo had some assistance from a sister in raising some of her children.

Aunt Hazel and Uncle Bob's (far right) youngest child is about my age. I used to go over for sleepovers with her. Aunt Hazel declared me, "Best Eater." Her children all had issues with vegetables or phobias about one food touching another on the plate. I was taught to eat whatever was put in front of me, especially at someone else's house. I'll have to let Aunt Hazel know that I still am a pretty good eater. It helps that all of the women of this generation are/were amazing cooks. Most, if not all, of their daughters are too.

Aunt Wanda and Aunt Grace died before the photo above was taken but I still have vivid memories of them too.

From a family of 13 children, (most of them pictured in the photo above taken in 1934) a large and blended family has emerged. I see parts of personalities that remained true their entire lives. Bobbie is sitting in a proper and ladylike way on the porch. She remained a pillar of strength and ladylike kindness her entire life. Grandma is sitting alone at the other end of the porch on the swing. She often removed herself from people and situations.

Each generation since then has become a little more fragmented but many of us are closer than ever. Can you imagine the two people sitting on that porch swing in the 1934 photo (my great grandparents) being told that in a few short generations, their offspring would travel by plane or communicate regularly through computers and cell phones. What if someone had told them that I would learn of my cousin's new job through a text message? While posing with their children, imagine if someone had told them that in 2009, their great granddaughter would take 10 seconds to scan this photo and write about their legacy.

Some people have mothers who they find out later is really grandmother. Some people have sistercousins and brothercousins. Some people go far into adulthood before finding out that mother is really auntmother. Our family has some of those mixed relationships. For the most part we don't hide it; we embrace it. There's enough love to go around and then some.