Showing posts with label aunts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label aunts. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

MotherAunt and SisterCousin






















Some of my favorite memories involve my aunts. Connie and Judy are my mother's sisters and have been a constant presence in my life. They used to babysit me, take me along on their dates, dress me up like a doll, etc. Note to Aunt Connie and Aunt Judy: Feel free to buy me pretty dresses any time.) The first time I got on a plane was to visit my Aunt Cess and her family. (Note to Aunt Cess: I still love to visit you and my cousins.) I still have frequent conversations with all of them.

The ladies posing in front of the tree are/were another generation of my mother's side of this wacky family. I can say that because I am also wacky. Front and center in this circa 1988 photo is Zelma (Bobbie,) my grandmother great aunt. Like many families, it was not uncommon for more than one sister to participate in rearing another's child/children. Grandma (on the left) gave birth to my mother and her sisters but Bobbie raised them.

Aunt Ann (next to Grandma) is the baby. She's always had the legs of a woman half her age. She and Uncle Harry have always lived nearby -- sometimes just down the street. Aunt Ann's daughters were my idols when I was in grade school. I didn't want to be like them -- I actually wanted to be them. Since I couldn't accomplish that, I would copy their mannerisms, their clothes, etc. I get to see them this weekend and I can't wait. No one laughs or makes me laugh like my Aunt Ann.

Aunt Jo (other side of Bobbie) died several years ago. I can't say I knew her well but she and my grandmother were thick as thieves. They might have been thieves for all I know; they walked a little bit on the wild side. Like my grandmother, Aunt Jo had some assistance from a sister in raising some of her children.

Aunt Hazel and Uncle Bob's (far right) youngest child is about my age. I used to go over for sleepovers with her. Aunt Hazel declared me, "Best Eater." Her children all had issues with vegetables or phobias about one food touching another on the plate. I was taught to eat whatever was put in front of me, especially at someone else's house. I'll have to let Aunt Hazel know that I still am a pretty good eater. It helps that all of the women of this generation are/were amazing cooks. Most, if not all, of their daughters are too.

Aunt Wanda and Aunt Grace died before the photo above was taken but I still have vivid memories of them too.

From a family of 13 children, (most of them pictured in the photo above taken in 1934) a large and blended family has emerged. I see parts of personalities that remained true their entire lives. Bobbie is sitting in a proper and ladylike way on the porch. She remained a pillar of strength and ladylike kindness her entire life. Grandma is sitting alone at the other end of the porch on the swing. She often removed herself from people and situations.

Each generation since then has become a little more fragmented but many of us are closer than ever. Can you imagine the two people sitting on that porch swing in the 1934 photo (my great grandparents) being told that in a few short generations, their offspring would travel by plane or communicate regularly through computers and cell phones. What if someone had told them that I would learn of my cousin's new job through a text message? While posing with their children, imagine if someone had told them that in 2009, their great granddaughter would take 10 seconds to scan this photo and write about their legacy.

Some people have mothers who they find out later is really grandmother. Some people have sistercousins and brothercousins. Some people go far into adulthood before finding out that mother is really auntmother. Our family has some of those mixed relationships. For the most part we don't hide it; we embrace it. There's enough love to go around and then some.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Relatives and Memories


These are my grandparents, Bobbie and Pa. Those were my names for them and I miss them terribly. I think of them every day and now I think of them every time I walk into my mother's office where she keeps this photo on her desk. This photo was taken at my first wedding in 1984. They have both been gone for many years but they do live on in our hearts.

Today would've been Bobbie's birthday. I'm not big on visiting people's gravesites. I'd rather visit the memories in my mind. I can still picture her overly-stuffed house with a feast on the table for every holiday or family meal. I still don't understand how she managed it on her meager budget. I treasure every bowl or platter she gave me. For the rest of my life, any entertaining I do will include some of Bobbie's dishes. When dividing our household items, I have no interest (or moral right) to the silver we inherited from the Captain and the Belle. I will fight to the finish for my dimestore and garage sale glass items that my grandmother gave me with love.

On another note, we just concluded a visit with my aunt and her boyfriend. We only had a couple of days and they went way too fast. But, more memories were visited and more memories were made.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Sibling Love and Respect



Today is Cecily Crossman's birthday. She is someone I fiercely love and admire with an almost stalker-like zeal. She is also my aunt -- my father's only living sibling. They are crazy about each other and their devotion is admirable on many levels.

As an only child, my experience with siblings is through observation and of course, the siblings I have chosen.

Anyone who thinks it is easier for two sisters to be close would learn quite a bit from the brother/sister duo above.

Happy birthday Aunt Cess and thanks for always being there for my dad.

Monday, November 10, 2008

A glimpse

I've recently had a glimpse of a few things:

I broke my toe and then yesterday managed to mangle the rest of my left foot. Handicap bars have become very important to me. I am glimpsing oldieville and I don't like it.

The husband is working on some different assignments. This involves asking me to type things, set up computer documents and being prepared for him to bop in and out during the day. I am not emotionally equipped for this. The oldies were together 24/7. This is not my plan with any person on the planet.

My father had a health scare and thankfully it has been resolved. For a moment, I saw the little girl who reaches for her daddy's hand and experienced the fear of him not reaching back. We sat in church yesterday and we held hands.

My aunt, who sings in the choir, began rolling her eyes when someone was speaking too long. I had a glimpse of Wild Bill.

I took a long, hard look in the mirror yesterday. (It was easy to do because I was crawling in my closet and could not escape.) I did not see my mother's beauty, but I caught a glimpse. I did not see my Aunt Connie's artistic talent, but there was a blip. I did not identify with Aunt Judy's ability to make us all laugh, but occasionally that comes through in me. I do not have my Aunt Cess' talent for tolerance. I do not have her writing talents. But, I see her in me.

Inspiration comes in all forms. You might need a nudge, a blip or a reminder. Or, you might need to look in the mirror and see a glimpse of what you could be.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

China and crystal

If there is a fire or a natural disaster, what would you grab? Other than the obvious of getting your family and pets to safety, most people choose photos or other collectibles.

I want my china and crystal. I want the bowls my grandmother and Aunt Judy gave me. I have an obscene and bizarre attachment to my dishes. The Old Country Roses collection is my favorite. Second to that would be my Lenox Christmas collection. I also have a 12-days of Christmas dessert collection. I have a set of plain white china rimmed in gold that I got at Pottery Barn. I have a set of plain white china rimmed in silver that I use whenever somebody feels like polishing the flatware.

As I learned this weekend, lots of people have duplicate photos of our family and friends.

I would go for my dishes. And, of course, my laptop.

I do realize someone is now going to think I am obsessed with possessions. Not really -- just dishes.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Bye Bye Love



At one point in my life, one of my aunts lived with us and the other lived down the street with her husband and two children. My great aunt and her husband lived a few houses away and her daughters were my idols. Needless to say, our lives were intermixed.

The young man in this photo is my cousin. Even though we live in the same town, I haven't seen or spoken to him in years.

I've given up. I could float a boat on the tears I've shed.

But we sure had fun as kids.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Wading through the Fog

To borrow a phrase from my Aunt Cess, I am an "out there" person. I come by it honestly. My mother has a shade of this and my dad's side of the family is filled with them. I'm not as "out there" as some of my cousins but I'm in the race.

Other relatives and friends seem to be wading through the fog. It makes me sad.

My cousin Scott sent me photos of his recent trip to Bolivia. My cousin John is still a baby in my mind and he's running a company. My cousin Sarah recently had her fourth child (four!) and is managing a business while her husband travels. My cousin Cathy just married on the beach and is running her own business.

The way I see it is this: You can choose the fog or you can choose to be "out there." My choice is obvious.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

It Never Hurts to Ask

At the Indiana State Fair today, I bargained my way through. My alma mater was giving away cloth bags. I got some for all of us and several for my mother's friends. I think I was making her nervous.

I bought some sunglasses but asked the guy to lower the price and throw in some extra cases. My aunt found this funny.

A young man walked by in an IU shirt that said, "Cheerleading." I asked him to do a flip. He did.

We went through the horse barn -- something I usually don't do, but it was fun. The horses were beautiful and my aunt who adores horses was in horse heaven. I wanted a picture so I asked the owner to move the horse. He did.

I talk to everyone... security people, vendors, police officers. I want what I want and the worst that can happen is they'll say no.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Yee Haw! Going to the Fair!

My mother and I were having a conversation the other night and trying to compare calendars so we could book our date at the Indiana State Fair. We're both slightly overbooked (it makes us sound important but we're not.) Finally she said, "Well we might have to skip it this year."

Whoa Doggies! Skip the Fair? I don't think so.

My aunt is visiting from Utah and she is going with us. My other aunt has cleared her schedule so we can have a girl day. (If my Florida aunt could be here, it would be complete.)

We're going tomorrow. I overuse this word but I am officially giddy. We all have our tickets. I have instructed one of my aunts that I will not acknowledge her or stand next to her if she wears a fanny pack. My aunts tolerate me and my quirks but hey, I tolerate theirs.

The husband does not do the Fair. It doesn't matter to me; he would just get on my nerves. My mother and I have it down.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Hat People


My Aunt Cess has educated me that hats with feathers are wrong. She doesn't wear hats. She doesn't wear fur. So far I've avoided feathers and out of respect for her, I will not go there. But she will not break me of my love for hats.

Crazy Grandma is to blame. She plopped a hat on my head and I've never stopped. I've worn Easter bonnets and I occasionally wear hats to weddings and funerals. I wear beach hats and visors. These days, you're most likely to find me in a baseball cap with a funny saying or a town I have visited.

The husband (correct as usual) thinks we should be weeding some things out. The closet is a good place to start but I immediately shouted, "Don't touch my hats!"

Monday, June 23, 2008

Housekeeping

I have a couple of great aunts that take house cleaning to the stratosphere. I got out of line when they were assigning this gene. It does not interest me except when the husband leaves me notes through the dust on the piano.

The Belle took a bizarre interest in cleaning this home. While the oldies were with us, I was the little cheerleader: "You go girl!" Some people would be embarrassed to have their mother-in-law clean their/our grunge. Not me. I was thinking, "Whew!"

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Six-Word Memoirs -- Part Two

I'm changing computers. Yesterday involved a lot of data transfer and time I couldn't be on the computer. Yikes!

After laundry and as many errands as I could tolerate, I took one of my notebooks into my sun room and I played the six-word memoir game. If you don't make this list, trust me there's more to come.

Mom:
You still think you're the boss.
Jan/Deb:
To the grave; not long enough.
Patsy:
You knew me then. Please forget.
Kim:
The childhood mirror shows us well.
Rich:
Punch. Poke. Wasn't it all fun?
Connie:
Just give me Donut and Grape.
Cess:
When I grow up, I'm her.
Beth:
Y'all is southern for you guys.


Probably not the most constructive use of my time. So, I'll add one more for me:
Waster of time, one more time.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

With Abandon

Someone once said to me, "You are so lucky that your family knows how to laugh."

Laughter doesn't do it justice. It's shrieking. It's being doubled over in belly pain. It can often become a "Depends" moment.

Last weekend, we had a lovely dinner and then played cards with some relatives. The husband does a great impression of Aunt Ann. Patty's laugh is so contagious that I get the giggles just thinking about it. Aunt Judy's facial expressions crack me up. I would swear Wild Bill was in the room. Peggy can hoot and holler with the best of them and she would win. My mother and I could laugh watching paint dry.

Our men were there. They played some games with us and then watched tv. No offense to them but the girls had more fun.

I combed my hair for Uncle Harry. He griped about it anyway. Then, I beat him at cards.

We laugh out loud. We cry at funerals. Sometimes we cry for no reason other than it feels good to get it out. We're kind to each other and we forgive the occasional emotional outburst.

Actually, we embrace it.

The husband and his brothers had a running punchline during the Belle's and Hangdog's funerals. They would introduce themselves and then say, "I'm the emotional one." They were telling the truth and once again I realized why we fit.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

It's My Party and I'll Cry if I Want To

I love Lesley Gore. Her songs are simple ballads and get this, you can actually understand the lyrics. It's mostly teenage angst but when you listen to them in middle age, the same feelings are there. They're just focused in a new direction.

My aunt introduced me to her and I learned every word to every song. (Her greatest hits are on my iPod.) Decades after my aunt gave me the gift of her music, Lesley Gore performed a concert here and my aunt and I danced and sang in the aisles. It's one of my favorite memories.

Another aunt thinks it's healthy that I can cry and laugh easily. My emotions are not contained. I didn't know our bodies held this much salty water. I can cry until I laugh and I can laugh until I cry.

Hangdog called last night. After our conversation, I cried.
The husband did something extra nice for me last night. I cried.
Someone sent me a funny email. I laughed until I cried.

In a few days I'm headed off for a quickie vacation. I'm afraid the girlfriends involved may lock me in a closet until I stop crying. Even if it's a happy cry.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Airport Joy

My dad and I went to the airport today to pick up his sister. I wouldn't have missed it for the world. There's that moment when someone you love (and haven't seen in a while) comes into view ... it's bliss.

You always have to kill a little time wating for a plane. I'm anal so I kept checking on the flight and then when she called me, I started giving my dad little hand signals to start the car and get moving. I'm pretty sure he wanted to slap me back to reality but he didn't. (Seeing his sister was a great diversion.)

Tonight is their sibling time. Tomorrow her boyfriend will join us and the husband and I will dominate, even though we don't mean to do so.

With kisses and hugs, I sent my dad and his sister off to enjoy their evening. Then, I cried. But they were tears of great joy.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Packing

My aunt, the most talented writer I know personally, is leaving on a three week journey with 10 stops. Weather will range from 80 degrees to below freezing. She is taking one small carry-on bag.

The oldies are packing for nine days in one location. (If they go.) One large suitcase is dedicated entirely to medications, mostly unnecessary. We have hauled three additional big suitcases up from the basement and she's fretting that they won't be able to fit everything in. Plus, canes and at least one walker. Guess who gets to coordinate all of this with the airlines.

I can pack for almost any destination in about 10 minutes. I cannot do it all in one carry-on bag. Neither could the husband -- his golf clubs don't fit in the overhead compartment. But, if I ever get to the point where an entire suitcase is needed to tote medicine, I'm staying home.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

A Different Kind of Ant

Just like the song, High Hopes, talked about ants, I want to do it too. Only in this case, it's my aunts. My father had two sisters who adored him. One has passed away but the other is very influential in my life. I'll get to her in a minute.

My mother is the oldest of three girls. Her sisters have seen me through thick and thin. They probably get very sick of me calling or emailing them. (One is high tech; one is no tech.)

I was taught that you're not supposed to express envy or covet things but if you'll give me a little wiggle room, I'll try not to be blasphemous.

I can be jealous of my aunts. They are these incredibly talented, funny, interesting people. Then, I realize I'm grateful -- in a weird and honorable way, I get to say, "Mine!" It's possessive. I'm possessive. These are my aunts.

One of my aunts lived with us periodically during my childhood. She taught me this lesson: When someone else pulls your hair, grab theirs and yank hard. By the way, she's the most talented artist I've had the pleasure to know. She has more talent in the tip of her pinkie than I have in my entire body.

One of my aunts used to take my infant self on dates with her (now) husband. She is far and away the funniest woman I know. I refer to her as a combination of Lucille Ball and Wild Bill. Who taught me to roll my eyes? Plus, she cooks all the time. She shares cookbooks and recipes. Do you think she's trying to tell me to kick it up a notch?

One of my aunts is a writer, speaker, community activist and has dedicated her life to family and social reform. Her influence is unending and she planted the seed for my writing passion. She's also been in the position of dealing with illness and in-home care. I can turn to her for advice or a pick-me-up talk when I'm freaking about the oldies. Plus, she's the strongest woman in the world.

My other aunt is deceased. I did not know her well. That makes me sad.

I have two great aunts on my mother's side. One showers me with soaps, lotions, candles and potions. She has dealt with her own health issues and frankly, I am stunned that she makes such an effort. (Maybe she remembers that I was the good eater.)

My other great Aunt has the most contagious laugh you've ever heard. If I'm lucky, I see her a few times a year. I always leave her presence with my heart full and my stomach hurting from too many belly laughs.

Aunts get the short end of the stick. They're not your parents and usually, their children are your generational equals so you tend to spend more time with the cousins. If you're lucky, you know and love your cousins. But it's the aunts who remember your birthday or helped pick out your baptism outfit or babysat so your parents could get a moment to themselves.

The husband had a million aunts. His mother came from a family of a jillion. (I stop counting after five.) He loved them and is in contact with some of his cousins but it's not like the relationships I have with my aunts.

As adults, we forget. So, I raise my coffee mug in a toast to aunts.

I have three aunts and two great-aunts. I am honored to also call them my friends.

Monday, November 26, 2007

The Only White People

I rarely take time to go out to the movies. I prefer watching something at home, on my own timetable, usually wearing my bathrobe and a glass of wine at hand.

This is a banner year. I've seen two movies in the theater, both times with my mother and Aunt Judy. Several weeks ago, we saw "Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married?" Then, we saw, "This Christmas." Both are very funny yet also heartwarming. Both have universal appeal. Both have predominant or entire African American casts.

In both cases, we were the only Caucasian people in the theater.

The marketing people are on to this. Every movie trailer was African American casts. (Yes, I understand target marketing.) None of the mainstream blockbusters scheduled for holiday release were even previewed. Didn't segregation end?

I may or may not find time for another movie this year but if I do, it will be one of the ones I saw previewed during these showings.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Wild Bill -- Part II

Last night, the huband was playing the piano and I was lying on the floor with the dog. She had a big whacker of a bone that collided with my eye. Nothing serious but I walked around with an ice bag in a cloth for an hour or so. I considered a piece of tape to put over my eye. Yep, for that time, I was Wild Bill.

Last week, I went to a movie with my mom and my aunt. Aunt Judy's sense of humor is amazing and contagious. She is a combination of Lucille Ball and Wild Bill.

On a recent night, the husband had a business dinner and other commitments. I spent lots of time on the phone. (Hello, Wild Bill.) He was a huge phone junkie -- or as my mother likes to point out, "He was a great drunk dialer." For the record, I was not drunk. But I do tend to spend a lot of time on the phone.

The dog does this weird thing with her tongue -- kind of lolling out sideways and it always reminds me of Wild Bill. He used to clamp his tongue between his teeth when he was thinking or concentrating on something.

I swear to you. I catch myself doing it everyday.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Looking in the Mirror

I can't figure out when I started avoiding the mirror. It's been several years. I can actually do my hair and put on a slight bit of make-up without ever seeing my reflection. If eye liner is required, I can do it in 5 seconds, minimizing the mirror time.

I'm not fat and I'm reasonably toned for my age. Those three-way mirrors in the department stores are depression on a cracker. That's probably why I don't shop. I have a full-length mirror in my closet and I avoid it like I avoid birds. It gives me the creeps.

I'm not afraid of aging -- I just don't want to watch. I've earned every line. I laugh and cry often and those are the lines I'm most proud of. I could pack a lunch in my forehead but I tell myself that it just means I'm expressive.

God willing, I've got some time to go. I'm terrified of needles so I don't see any plastic surgery in my future.

Some people tell me I look exactly like my mom. They're wrong but I'll take the compliment. Sometimes, people tell me I am the female version of my dad. Ok, he's darn cute so I'll take the compliment. Once I took my Uncle Ken and Aunt Cess to the husband's office. She's my dad's sister. Everyone said, "You look so much alike. This must be your mother." I'll take the compliment.

The oldies have one of those magnifying mirrors. Can you imagine?