The husband had surgery yesterday and he is fine. Well, he's in pain and cranky but all went according to plan.
My mom was there. I know she had genuine concern for the husband but she was mainly there to hold my hand and make sure I was okay.
We sat together and did the crossword puzzle. We read our books. When I started getting antsy, she held my hand again. As she pointed out, "If the Belle was still with us, she would be here."
Sometimes it frightens me how much I depend on the emotional support of my parents.
Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
The Mom Finger Wag
Chances are you've been on the receiving end of the Mom Finger Wag. Odds are pretty good that you may have done it yourself. It's pointing your finger at a child while you're scolding or making a point. (My mom preferred the head thump.)
Our city has one east-to-west street that is renowned for crime. I swear every time I read of a murder or drive-by shooting, it's on (or near) this street. It's a major thoroughfare and lots of people travel it everyday. I use it but I'm also pretty cautious to make sure my doors are locked and I make eye contact with no one.
The other night, after leaving the dreadful "I killed a goat" party, my friend and I needed to be on this street for three blocks. We're chatting and laughing. At an intersection where she had the right of way, a group of young men almost ran the light.
She pointed and did the Mom Finger Wag.
I started screaming, "Are you crazy? People get killed for less than that!"
Then I became obsessed with looking behind us to make sure they hadn't turned around to follow us.
Obviously we are okay but for a while there, I was sure we were going to be the goat.
Our city has one east-to-west street that is renowned for crime. I swear every time I read of a murder or drive-by shooting, it's on (or near) this street. It's a major thoroughfare and lots of people travel it everyday. I use it but I'm also pretty cautious to make sure my doors are locked and I make eye contact with no one.
The other night, after leaving the dreadful "I killed a goat" party, my friend and I needed to be on this street for three blocks. We're chatting and laughing. At an intersection where she had the right of way, a group of young men almost ran the light.
She pointed and did the Mom Finger Wag.
I started screaming, "Are you crazy? People get killed for less than that!"
Then I became obsessed with looking behind us to make sure they hadn't turned around to follow us.
Obviously we are okay but for a while there, I was sure we were going to be the goat.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Mean to My Mom
I've saluted Mean Moms. This is a different subject. I can be mean to my mom.
When she wants to talk about my bad habits, I can quickly change the subject to her bad habits. When we're going to meet, I send her mean emails listing topics that I do not wish to discuss. When she hangs up on me (usually accidental,) I hunt her down and give her a hard time. When I can't reach her at home or on her cell phone, I leave extremely obnoxious messages: "HELLO! HELLO! Why do you have this phone?" Yet, she always calls back.
I come by this honestly. I am 44-years old and she almost always knows where I am. If she calls my cell phone, the first question is usually, "Where are you?"
My personal favorite is her driving. (I used to only worry about the mother-in-law driving.) My mother has taken safe driving to the level that it's unsafe. If I'm in the car with her or in the car behind her, I'm singing the carol, Winter Wonderland. "Getty Up, Getty Up, Let's Go."
I was following her today. As we both hit the intersection where we would go opposite directions, I rolled down my window and said, "Hello! Do you realize that you were in the wrong lane for the last two blocks or so?" I was hyperventilating -- watching for oncoming traffic or cars that might turn.
We both found this funny and yes, she called me later. "I can get away with nothing!" The husband does not understand how we can be in the same room and go through the same experience and yet, we hit the car and call each other. Then we get home and one must call the other to dissect the experience. Then, I must check my email before bed because Mom might have thought of something else.
We make each other crazy occasionally but in reality we keep each other sane.
When she wants to talk about my bad habits, I can quickly change the subject to her bad habits. When we're going to meet, I send her mean emails listing topics that I do not wish to discuss. When she hangs up on me (usually accidental,) I hunt her down and give her a hard time. When I can't reach her at home or on her cell phone, I leave extremely obnoxious messages: "HELLO! HELLO! Why do you have this phone?" Yet, she always calls back.
I come by this honestly. I am 44-years old and she almost always knows where I am. If she calls my cell phone, the first question is usually, "Where are you?"
My personal favorite is her driving. (I used to only worry about the mother-in-law driving.) My mother has taken safe driving to the level that it's unsafe. If I'm in the car with her or in the car behind her, I'm singing the carol, Winter Wonderland. "Getty Up, Getty Up, Let's Go."
I was following her today. As we both hit the intersection where we would go opposite directions, I rolled down my window and said, "Hello! Do you realize that you were in the wrong lane for the last two blocks or so?" I was hyperventilating -- watching for oncoming traffic or cars that might turn.
We both found this funny and yes, she called me later. "I can get away with nothing!" The husband does not understand how we can be in the same room and go through the same experience and yet, we hit the car and call each other. Then we get home and one must call the other to dissect the experience. Then, I must check my email before bed because Mom might have thought of something else.
We make each other crazy occasionally but in reality we keep each other sane.
The Only White People
I rarely take time to go out to the movies. I prefer watching something at home, on my own timetable, usually wearing my bathrobe and a glass of wine at hand.
This is a banner year. I've seen two movies in the theater, both times with my mother and Aunt Judy. Several weeks ago, we saw "Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married?" Then, we saw, "This Christmas." Both are very funny yet also heartwarming. Both have universal appeal. Both have predominant or entire African American casts.
In both cases, we were the only Caucasian people in the theater.
The marketing people are on to this. Every movie trailer was African American casts. (Yes, I understand target marketing.) None of the mainstream blockbusters scheduled for holiday release were even previewed. Didn't segregation end?
I may or may not find time for another movie this year but if I do, it will be one of the ones I saw previewed during these showings.
This is a banner year. I've seen two movies in the theater, both times with my mother and Aunt Judy. Several weeks ago, we saw "Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married?" Then, we saw, "This Christmas." Both are very funny yet also heartwarming. Both have universal appeal. Both have predominant or entire African American casts.
In both cases, we were the only Caucasian people in the theater.
The marketing people are on to this. Every movie trailer was African American casts. (Yes, I understand target marketing.) None of the mainstream blockbusters scheduled for holiday release were even previewed. Didn't segregation end?
I may or may not find time for another movie this year but if I do, it will be one of the ones I saw previewed during these showings.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Going to the Dogs
Dog love is part of my genetic makeup. I can’t help it. I am crazy about them and there have been very few periods in my life where I didn’t own a dog.
When I was a very little girt (5) I begged my parents for a dog. My mother had a bad experience in her childhood and was definitely not interested in becoming a dog owner. She made a deal with me: If I could find a dog (not a puppy) that was already housebroken, reasonably small and well behaved, I could have it. There was a stray in my grandmother’s neighborhood who met all the criteria. I won! She was probably the best dog ever. She lived until I was in college and by then, my mother was converted. (At one point my parents owned four dogs but now they’re down to two.)
The husband didn’t want a dog when we first got married. He wanted the freedom and flexibility of a pet-free life. So, I sort of tricked him. One day I asked him, “If we were to ever get a dog, what would you get?” He answered and we had a Black Lab puppy within the week. Surprise!
We had her for 12 great years. We spent countless dollars on her. When she died, my friend Abby had to scoop me off the floor of the Vet’s office and take me home.
I let the husband have his way for about a year. I hated every minute of it. I missed walking in the door and being greeted by a big sloppy dog kiss. The house just seemed too clean without dog hair to sweep up. We had many discussions about it. He loved that year – I was miserable. So, once again, I broke the rules. I started investigating new dogs. I corralled the children. “Wouldn’t it be fun to have a new dog?” They (of course) were with me on that, even though they don’t live here anymore.
The husband was adamant that our life is already too full. We’ve got jobs. We’ve have a lot of activity in this house. The oldies don’t like big dogs. A puppy will knock them down. We’ll have to rearrange our schedules to take care of the dog. We can’t afford it. Why would we want to do this? All of my friends have dogs. Whenever possible, we include them. At the lake last week, you couldn't move from one room to another without a pack of four dogs under your feet. When the workout girls go to Phoenix, Big Sal's dogs are there and we happily snuggle with them. We move out of the way so Rudy can have his favorite spot on the sofa.
I got Gabby when she was 7 weeks old. She turned a year old in August. She is crazy about Big Daddy. She annoys the oldies but the mother-in-law spends an inordinate amount of time throwing the tennis ball. The Unabomber just says, “Go away dog!”
Lots of people have expressed feelings about dogs better than I ever could. Here are some of my favorite dog quotes:
My mother thinks I have become one of those weird dog people. You know the type. Sort of like Shirley McClaine's character in Steel Magnolia's. Unfortunately, she's right. I drag my crazy dog everywhere. I'm happiest when she's lying on her pillow in my office or riding shotgun in my car. This is what happens when the children leave home...
When I was a very little girt (5) I begged my parents for a dog. My mother had a bad experience in her childhood and was definitely not interested in becoming a dog owner. She made a deal with me: If I could find a dog (not a puppy) that was already housebroken, reasonably small and well behaved, I could have it. There was a stray in my grandmother’s neighborhood who met all the criteria. I won! She was probably the best dog ever. She lived until I was in college and by then, my mother was converted. (At one point my parents owned four dogs but now they’re down to two.)
The husband didn’t want a dog when we first got married. He wanted the freedom and flexibility of a pet-free life. So, I sort of tricked him. One day I asked him, “If we were to ever get a dog, what would you get?” He answered and we had a Black Lab puppy within the week. Surprise!
We had her for 12 great years. We spent countless dollars on her. When she died, my friend Abby had to scoop me off the floor of the Vet’s office and take me home.
I let the husband have his way for about a year. I hated every minute of it. I missed walking in the door and being greeted by a big sloppy dog kiss. The house just seemed too clean without dog hair to sweep up. We had many discussions about it. He loved that year – I was miserable. So, once again, I broke the rules. I started investigating new dogs. I corralled the children. “Wouldn’t it be fun to have a new dog?” They (of course) were with me on that, even though they don’t live here anymore.
The husband was adamant that our life is already too full. We’ve got jobs. We’ve have a lot of activity in this house. The oldies don’t like big dogs. A puppy will knock them down. We’ll have to rearrange our schedules to take care of the dog. We can’t afford it. Why would we want to do this? All of my friends have dogs. Whenever possible, we include them. At the lake last week, you couldn't move from one room to another without a pack of four dogs under your feet. When the workout girls go to Phoenix, Big Sal's dogs are there and we happily snuggle with them. We move out of the way so Rudy can have his favorite spot on the sofa.
I got Gabby when she was 7 weeks old. She turned a year old in August. She is crazy about Big Daddy. She annoys the oldies but the mother-in-law spends an inordinate amount of time throwing the tennis ball. The Unabomber just says, “Go away dog!”
Lots of people have expressed feelings about dogs better than I ever could. Here are some of my favorite dog quotes:
"If there is no heaven for dogs, then I want to go where they go when I die."
Anonymous
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
Roger Caras
"I've seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts."
John Steinbeck
"The reason a dog has so many friends, is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue"
Anonymous
"A watchdog is a dog kept to guard your home, usually by sleeping where a burglar would awaken the household by falling over him."
Anonymous
"The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too."
Samuel Butler
"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives."
Rita Rudner
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself."
Billings
"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
Andrew A. Rooney
"If your dog doesn't like someone you probably shouldn't either."
Unknown
"In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semi human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog."
Edward Hoagland
"No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich."
Louis Sabin
"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
Dave Barry
"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
Ann Landers
"Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe, we are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made."
Roger Caras
"A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk."
O. A. Battista
"A dog is man's best friend, and vice versa."
Anonymous
"There's just something about dogs that makes you feel good. You come home, they're thrilled to see you. They're good for the ego."
Janet Schnellman
"A dog can express more with his tail in minutes than his owner can express with his tongue in hours."
Anonymous
"It's no coincidence that man's best friend cannot talk."
Anonymous
"A dog's bark may be worse than his bite, but it's never quite so personal"
Anonymous
"I can train any dog in 5 minutes. It's training the owner that takes longer."
Barbara Woodhouse
"You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us."
Robert Louis Stevenson
"You can’t keep a good man down -- or an over-affectionate dog."
Anonymous
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
Rita Rudner
"No animal I know of can consistently be more of a friend and companion than a dog."
Stanley Leinwoll
"When most of us talk to our dogs, we tend to forget they're not people."
Julia Glass
"Any time you think you have influence, try ordering around someone else's dog."
The Cockle Bur
"I have caught more ills from people sneezing over me and giving me virus infections than from kissing dogs."
Barbara Woodhouse
My mother thinks I have become one of those weird dog people. You know the type. Sort of like Shirley McClaine's character in Steel Magnolia's. Unfortunately, she's right. I drag my crazy dog everywhere. I'm happiest when she's lying on her pillow in my office or riding shotgun in my car. This is what happens when the children leave home...
Thursday, September 6, 2007
How You Address Someone
I love people who address others as "Sir or Ma'am." These are titles of respect, especially when they come out of a young person. I sound like a dinosaur but I get a little sad that this formality has gone out of fashion, except in the deep south.
We Baby Boomers are partially to blame. We want to be young and hip forever.
The husband has always called my mother, "Mom." I think he started it as an ice breaker but it developed into a habit. I don't remember him ever calling her by her first name.
Before the oldies joined our household, we only saw them once or twice a year. (Oh, those were the days!) I didn't really call her by any particular name. Mrs. Roman seemed too formal; her first name seemed too chummy. Some of her grandchildren call her Grams but that seemed weird since she's not my grandmother. So, I would just wait patiently until she made eye contact with me and then speak to her.
I continued this little dance when they moved in. Finally, the husband called me on the carpet. "It would be nice if you called her Mom." Immediate, gutteral response: NO!!!! But then, I pondered and prayed. I reminded myself that the baby has called me Mom since he was a tot. The woman (my friend) who brought him into this world shared this wonderful title with me. Instead of jealousy, she embraced it. So, I agreed.
At first, it sort of stuck in my throat. But, with practice, it became easier. Now it just rolls off my tongue with zero thought. I completely underestimated the importance of this decision. We immediately became closer. And, just the address of "Mom" reminds us both of our relationship. With four sons, she has never had a girl/woman call her Mom.
When I was late teenage/young adult, I addressed my Aunt Connie as just Connie. No way, Jose! She yanked my tail and reminded me that being called Aunt was important to her. Well, you don't have to hit me twice. My aunts and great-aunts will attest to this: I never say their name without the Aunt attached.
There's an intimacy with names and titles. I get annoyed when a total stranger, like a store clerk, hands my credit card back and says, "Thank you, Sheri." I was born in the wrong era and I need to get over it. What happened to Mrs. Roman?
Then, the baby will call and say something like, "Mom, I love my classes." Or, "Mom, I need more book money." Or, "Mom, some people invited me to visit their fraternity." My brain misfires. All I hear is "Mom."
We Baby Boomers are partially to blame. We want to be young and hip forever.
The husband has always called my mother, "Mom." I think he started it as an ice breaker but it developed into a habit. I don't remember him ever calling her by her first name.
Before the oldies joined our household, we only saw them once or twice a year. (Oh, those were the days!) I didn't really call her by any particular name. Mrs. Roman seemed too formal; her first name seemed too chummy. Some of her grandchildren call her Grams but that seemed weird since she's not my grandmother. So, I would just wait patiently until she made eye contact with me and then speak to her.
I continued this little dance when they moved in. Finally, the husband called me on the carpet. "It would be nice if you called her Mom." Immediate, gutteral response: NO!!!! But then, I pondered and prayed. I reminded myself that the baby has called me Mom since he was a tot. The woman (my friend) who brought him into this world shared this wonderful title with me. Instead of jealousy, she embraced it. So, I agreed.
At first, it sort of stuck in my throat. But, with practice, it became easier. Now it just rolls off my tongue with zero thought. I completely underestimated the importance of this decision. We immediately became closer. And, just the address of "Mom" reminds us both of our relationship. With four sons, she has never had a girl/woman call her Mom.
When I was late teenage/young adult, I addressed my Aunt Connie as just Connie. No way, Jose! She yanked my tail and reminded me that being called Aunt was important to her. Well, you don't have to hit me twice. My aunts and great-aunts will attest to this: I never say their name without the Aunt attached.
There's an intimacy with names and titles. I get annoyed when a total stranger, like a store clerk, hands my credit card back and says, "Thank you, Sheri." I was born in the wrong era and I need to get over it. What happened to Mrs. Roman?
Then, the baby will call and say something like, "Mom, I love my classes." Or, "Mom, I need more book money." Or, "Mom, some people invited me to visit their fraternity." My brain misfires. All I hear is "Mom."
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