I have a couple of great aunts that take house cleaning to the stratosphere. I got out of line when they were assigning this gene. It does not interest me except when the husband leaves me notes through the dust on the piano.
The Belle took a bizarre interest in cleaning this home. While the oldies were with us, I was the little cheerleader: "You go girl!" Some people would be embarrassed to have their mother-in-law clean their/our grunge. Not me. I was thinking, "Whew!"
Showing posts with label the mother-in-law. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the mother-in-law. Show all posts
Monday, June 23, 2008
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Some Tips about Dying
I'm learning a lot. Here are a few tips:
Die in the city where your burial plot is located.Give people great memories, like this one of the Belle, in her kicky shoes, standing by the piano.
Let people know your history, especially dates.
Let people know your wishes, i.e. service or no service, closed casket or open, religious preferences.
Let people know your songs or quotes or the bible passages you would like included, if any.
Let people know where the relevant papers are kept.
Let people know what you would like to be buried in.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Opposite
Is it opposite extremes or extreme opposites? All I know is we're living it.
In many ways, the husband and I are polar opposites. He would prefer urban living; I prefer a yard and trees. He's enthralled with high-rise condos; I get claustrophobic just thinking about it. He would prefer no pets; I would have several. (We're a little like Green Acres except I'm the farm-living one and he's the big city one.)
When there's a situation or a crisis, something kicks in for him and he does what needs to be done. I go into a coma or curl into a ball.
We have a crisis at the moment. (We had about 12 hours without one -- you can't expect too much.) Lithuania called this morning while the husband was in the shower. They had to call 911 and dispatch the mother-in-law to the emergency room. She is stable now but we don't really know what's going on. Infection is the possible explanation. Her blood pressure and oxygen levels are screwy.
Here's an ironic twist. While the husband was in the shower, I was going through some paperwork from the Home. When the phone call came, I was reading the document that demands a choice: Use all means available or Do Not Resuscitate. Since he has Power of Attorney, the husband must sign this document -- we just had not gotten to it yet. (Silly me, I was trying to let him relax for a few hours last night.)
Sometimes God taps you on the shoulder. Other times He throws a boulder.
In many ways, the husband and I are polar opposites. He would prefer urban living; I prefer a yard and trees. He's enthralled with high-rise condos; I get claustrophobic just thinking about it. He would prefer no pets; I would have several. (We're a little like Green Acres except I'm the farm-living one and he's the big city one.)
When there's a situation or a crisis, something kicks in for him and he does what needs to be done. I go into a coma or curl into a ball.
We have a crisis at the moment. (We had about 12 hours without one -- you can't expect too much.) Lithuania called this morning while the husband was in the shower. They had to call 911 and dispatch the mother-in-law to the emergency room. She is stable now but we don't really know what's going on. Infection is the possible explanation. Her blood pressure and oxygen levels are screwy.
Here's an ironic twist. While the husband was in the shower, I was going through some paperwork from the Home. When the phone call came, I was reading the document that demands a choice: Use all means available or Do Not Resuscitate. Since he has Power of Attorney, the husband must sign this document -- we just had not gotten to it yet. (Silly me, I was trying to let him relax for a few hours last night.)
Sometimes God taps you on the shoulder. Other times He throws a boulder.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
The Feeding and Watering of Hangdog
Well, the trip just about did them in. They returned to us exhausted. The mother-in-law was obviously ill. The husband took her to the doctor and she was immediately admitted to the hospital. She has a mild case of pneumonia which is responding to medication. Other tests are happening as I write this.
The husband told our physician to wear his coat of armor when he does rounds. She is not a happy camper.
In the meantime, Hangdog must be fed and watered. This is not a tough job because even if he hates what is put in front of him, he will tell you, "It is EXCELLENT!" (He is well trained.) But, it does involve a few interruptions in the day. Her medication disbursement system is unintelligible to anyone but her -- that's on purpose -- so we are spending inordinate amounts of time deciphering what he needs to take and when. This involves several calls to the doctor's office.
The banged-up car is still in my driveway. Hangdog is very concerned about getting it fixed. I've obsessed with getting it out of here. She's not driving on my watch.
The husband told our physician to wear his coat of armor when he does rounds. She is not a happy camper.
In the meantime, Hangdog must be fed and watered. This is not a tough job because even if he hates what is put in front of him, he will tell you, "It is EXCELLENT!" (He is well trained.) But, it does involve a few interruptions in the day. Her medication disbursement system is unintelligible to anyone but her -- that's on purpose -- so we are spending inordinate amounts of time deciphering what he needs to take and when. This involves several calls to the doctor's office.
The banged-up car is still in my driveway. Hangdog is very concerned about getting it fixed. I've obsessed with getting it out of here. She's not driving on my watch.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Furs
Okay, I admit it. I own and wear furs.
The first one I acquired came about as kind of an expensive joke. I had a date planned with the man I am now married to. We had met for drinks once but this was to be our first official date. I happened to be in the same restaurant with a girlfriend while he was dining with a woman and some other friends. At that moment, I knew the scheduled date for the following evening was not going to happen. I was furious. (I was also 27.) I draped my girlfriend's fur around me and made the parade lap -- just to be sure he saw me and headed out to get something out of my car. He chased me into the parking lot. We did keep our date for the next evening.
About 10 or 11 months later, he gave me a fur. He couldn't afford it but it came with a wink and a smile.
A few years later, we were at a charity auction. He bought me a jacket that I adore. (I think there was wine involved.)
Many, many years ago we were in Chicago. We threw our luggage in the hotel room and headed out to a restaurant in Old Town. After ribs, fries and drinks, we decided to walk a bit and took a wrong turn. I am wearing jeans and a fur. The husband looks like he just fell out of GQ magazine. A gang of hooligans came out of no where. (I'm old enough -- they looked like hooligans to me.) and I remember grabbing his arm and thinking, "This is it. We deserve to die. We're walking down an alley in an iffy part of town. We may as well have: Kick me, Rape me, Kill me signs taped to us.
It was January and the streets were icy. A car and a taxi both tried to stop but ended up colliding in the alley. The gang scattered like pixie sticks. So, by the hand of God, we escaped that disaster.
As if I didn't own enough, I discovered that there are great deals to be found in warm climate towns. Lots of people move to Arizona, California or Florida and they unload their furs. So, I bought a gorgeous mink stole for about $25 and another year I bought a kicky jacket that I wear constantly. I think I paid $20.
Last year, I found a great fur jacket for the mother-in-law. It was a serious bargain.
The southern belle is still in me. They're all monogrammed. I have them cleaned and stored for the season. Of course, I can't afford to get them out of storage.
This week, I'm going to sacrifice elsewhere and pick up our furs. It's my favorite part of cold weather.
The first one I acquired came about as kind of an expensive joke. I had a date planned with the man I am now married to. We had met for drinks once but this was to be our first official date. I happened to be in the same restaurant with a girlfriend while he was dining with a woman and some other friends. At that moment, I knew the scheduled date for the following evening was not going to happen. I was furious. (I was also 27.) I draped my girlfriend's fur around me and made the parade lap -- just to be sure he saw me and headed out to get something out of my car. He chased me into the parking lot. We did keep our date for the next evening.
About 10 or 11 months later, he gave me a fur. He couldn't afford it but it came with a wink and a smile.
A few years later, we were at a charity auction. He bought me a jacket that I adore. (I think there was wine involved.)
Many, many years ago we were in Chicago. We threw our luggage in the hotel room and headed out to a restaurant in Old Town. After ribs, fries and drinks, we decided to walk a bit and took a wrong turn. I am wearing jeans and a fur. The husband looks like he just fell out of GQ magazine. A gang of hooligans came out of no where. (I'm old enough -- they looked like hooligans to me.) and I remember grabbing his arm and thinking, "This is it. We deserve to die. We're walking down an alley in an iffy part of town. We may as well have: Kick me, Rape me, Kill me signs taped to us.
It was January and the streets were icy. A car and a taxi both tried to stop but ended up colliding in the alley. The gang scattered like pixie sticks. So, by the hand of God, we escaped that disaster.
As if I didn't own enough, I discovered that there are great deals to be found in warm climate towns. Lots of people move to Arizona, California or Florida and they unload their furs. So, I bought a gorgeous mink stole for about $25 and another year I bought a kicky jacket that I wear constantly. I think I paid $20.
Last year, I found a great fur jacket for the mother-in-law. It was a serious bargain.
The southern belle is still in me. They're all monogrammed. I have them cleaned and stored for the season. Of course, I can't afford to get them out of storage.
This week, I'm going to sacrifice elsewhere and pick up our furs. It's my favorite part of cold weather.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Losing Touch
When the daughter was in high school, she had many friends that were the center of her life. Sometimes other things, like studying, took a backseat to whatever was going on with her friends. The husband was the voice of reason and explained that she wouldn't know or keep in contact with most of these people within five or ten years. I agreed with him but I had a hard time with these conversations because two of my dearest friends have been in my life long before high school.
Not that I don't have experience with losing touch with people.
I grew up in a neighborhood of friends. I probably wouldn't recognize most of them today. I had a core group in college and we were inseparable. I haven't seen many of them in years. My life is rich with friends but there are some other people that have disappeared and I miss them.
In a magical twist of fate, this blog has rekindled a friendship with some.
The oldies moved here from Mississippi. The first year, they received constant calls and letters from friends with juicy updates about their town, etc. This year, the notes and phone calls are dwindling. She's noticed and I can tell it depresses her.
Just like marriage, friendship takes an effort. In some ways, it takes more of an effort. It has to matter to you.
So, I've been trying to reach out a bit. When it works, the years fall away. I was in New York earlier this year and had dinner with a friend from college. We're making plans to visit again. I had lunch with another college friend and we shared laughter and tears. We spent a lot of time saying, "Remember when we all ...?" I'm a little jealous, he's done a much better job of keeping in touch with our college gang.
The Unabomber has lost touch with reality; the mother-in-law has not. She watches the comings and goings of our life and she misses her friends.
Not that I don't have experience with losing touch with people.
I grew up in a neighborhood of friends. I probably wouldn't recognize most of them today. I had a core group in college and we were inseparable. I haven't seen many of them in years. My life is rich with friends but there are some other people that have disappeared and I miss them.
In a magical twist of fate, this blog has rekindled a friendship with some.
The oldies moved here from Mississippi. The first year, they received constant calls and letters from friends with juicy updates about their town, etc. This year, the notes and phone calls are dwindling. She's noticed and I can tell it depresses her.
Just like marriage, friendship takes an effort. In some ways, it takes more of an effort. It has to matter to you.
So, I've been trying to reach out a bit. When it works, the years fall away. I was in New York earlier this year and had dinner with a friend from college. We're making plans to visit again. I had lunch with another college friend and we shared laughter and tears. We spent a lot of time saying, "Remember when we all ...?" I'm a little jealous, he's done a much better job of keeping in touch with our college gang.
The Unabomber has lost touch with reality; the mother-in-law has not. She watches the comings and goings of our life and she misses her friends.
Friday, October 5, 2007
I Forgot to have Babies
I am 44-years old. I have come to terms with the fact that I will never birth a baby. Even if my body would allow it (which it wouldn't,) I don't want to be one of those women who attends her child's high school graduation at 65 or 70-years old. Science has allowed many new fertility options but I am slightly repulsed when I read about women going to gigantic lengths to have a baby in their 50s or 60s. Joan Lunden having two -- TWO -- sets of twins at her age is wrong, wrong, wrong.
I have been blessed with my husband's two children in my life. They are my greatest blessings. All of my friends have shared their children. My goddaughters ... oooh! I cannot explain the passion I feel for them.
Actually, I'm being facecious. I didn't forget. It was a conscious decision. I've been in other relationships and maybe I would've done it but the timing wasn't right. When I fell in love with the husband, there were already two children involved. I have been allowed to be actively involved in their lives. The good, the bad and the ugly.
I was 27 when the husband and I started dating and 29 when we married. The oldies lived in Mississippi and the first exposure I had to the mother-in-law's personality was when the husband said, "I told my mother about you." As the story goes, she said, "Get rid of her -- she'll trick you into having a baby." (I love to remind her of this story because she had never even met me.)
Tricking is not in my nature and obviously, that little prediction didn't come true. The other day she said to me, "You would've been a wonderful mother." Well, well! I'm a little psycho about certain things but it is always done out of love.
Others may not agree with me but I did get to experience motherhood, or at least a piece of it. I'm a nurturer by nature. I may not have birthed a baby but I've nurtured a few children. Still do.
I have been blessed with my husband's two children in my life. They are my greatest blessings. All of my friends have shared their children. My goddaughters ... oooh! I cannot explain the passion I feel for them.
Actually, I'm being facecious. I didn't forget. It was a conscious decision. I've been in other relationships and maybe I would've done it but the timing wasn't right. When I fell in love with the husband, there were already two children involved. I have been allowed to be actively involved in their lives. The good, the bad and the ugly.
I was 27 when the husband and I started dating and 29 when we married. The oldies lived in Mississippi and the first exposure I had to the mother-in-law's personality was when the husband said, "I told my mother about you." As the story goes, she said, "Get rid of her -- she'll trick you into having a baby." (I love to remind her of this story because she had never even met me.)
Tricking is not in my nature and obviously, that little prediction didn't come true. The other day she said to me, "You would've been a wonderful mother." Well, well! I'm a little psycho about certain things but it is always done out of love.
Others may not agree with me but I did get to experience motherhood, or at least a piece of it. I'm a nurturer by nature. I may not have birthed a baby but I've nurtured a few children. Still do.
Monday, October 1, 2007
Television
Ok, I admit it. I love television. My day is a little off if I don't start it with The Today Show. It doesn't matter what's on during the day -- it's just background noise -- although my friend Abby has convinced me that the cooking channel is fun to have on for ambience. I think it's supposed to make you hungry or make you want to cook. It has the opposite effect on me. If the food starts to gag me, I switch to CNN or MSNBC.
I'm an "early to bed, early to rise" person so I can't get into those shows that start at 10pm. Even if I Tivo them, I don't find the time to watch them. (But my local news comes on at 4:30 A.M. amd most of the time, I'm there watching.)
This week started the new season. I must limit myself to a few shows. I'll test some of the new ones and I'll stick with my faves:
Grey's Anatomy (but I'm also going to give Private Practice a chance.)
Desperate Housewives (It's lame, but I'm addicted.)
Brothers & Sisters
Dancing with the Stars
Dancing with the Stars is one of the few shows the husband and I enjoy together. (Well, except for those Court TV docudramas where someone murders a spouse and tries to get away with it.)
The mother-in-law loves it too. She's on her trip and probably not watching it. I miss her running commentary. I wish she could be like Endora on Bewitched and just pop in when I want her here. She loves the dancing and gets riled up at the skimpy costumes.
The husband accuses me of watching soap operas. Not true. But I do love it when I can take a break at 4:00P.M. and watch Oprah. Sometimes the mother-in-law watches it with me. She gets riled up over some of the topics. It's a show within a show.
I'm an "early to bed, early to rise" person so I can't get into those shows that start at 10pm. Even if I Tivo them, I don't find the time to watch them. (But my local news comes on at 4:30 A.M. amd most of the time, I'm there watching.)
This week started the new season. I must limit myself to a few shows. I'll test some of the new ones and I'll stick with my faves:
Grey's Anatomy (but I'm also going to give Private Practice a chance.)
Desperate Housewives (It's lame, but I'm addicted.)
Brothers & Sisters
Dancing with the Stars
Dancing with the Stars is one of the few shows the husband and I enjoy together. (Well, except for those Court TV docudramas where someone murders a spouse and tries to get away with it.)
The mother-in-law loves it too. She's on her trip and probably not watching it. I miss her running commentary. I wish she could be like Endora on Bewitched and just pop in when I want her here. She loves the dancing and gets riled up at the skimpy costumes.
The husband accuses me of watching soap operas. Not true. But I do love it when I can take a break at 4:00P.M. and watch Oprah. Sometimes the mother-in-law watches it with me. She gets riled up over some of the topics. It's a show within a show.
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