But Wait, There's More!

Some days, I feel like I'm living in a bad infomercial. You know, the kind that make you want to throw things at the television.

I digress but my personal favorite right now is the Snuggie. It's beyond absurd. There's a great article in this week's Time Magazine about the Snuggie. My favorite quote from the article, taken from a rant on YouTube is this: "It's a bathrobe. That is really long. That you wear backwards."

Some parts of my life are ill fitting right now. Many things that I took for granted now seem backward. Many other things have proven cozy and comfortable... I just forgot for a while.

Who knows what's coming next? I'll keep plugging along. And when I've had enough, maybe I'll put my bathrobe on backwards.

Television

Ok, I admit it. I love television. My day is a little off if I don't start it with The Today Show. It doesn't matter what's on during the day -- it's just background noise -- although my friend Abby has convinced me that the cooking channel is fun to have on for ambience. I think it's supposed to make you hungry or make you want to cook. It has the opposite effect on me. If the food starts to gag me, I switch to CNN or MSNBC.

I'm an "early to bed, early to rise" person so I can't get into those shows that start at 10pm. Even if I Tivo them, I don't find the time to watch them. (But my local news comes on at 4:30 A.M. amd most of the time, I'm there watching.)

This week started the new season. I must limit myself to a few shows. I'll test some of the new ones and I'll stick with my faves:

Grey's Anatomy (but I'm also going to give Private Practice a chance.)
Desperate Housewives (It's lame, but I'm addicted.)
Brothers & Sisters
Dancing with the Stars

Dancing with the Stars is one of the few shows the husband and I enjoy together. (Well, except for those Court TV docudramas where someone murders a spouse and tries to get away with it.)

The mother-in-law loves it too. She's on her trip and probably not watching it. I miss her running commentary. I wish she could be like Endora on Bewitched and just pop in when I want her here. She loves the dancing and gets riled up at the skimpy costumes.

The husband accuses me of watching soap operas. Not true. But I do love it when I can take a break at 4:00P.M. and watch Oprah. Sometimes the mother-in-law watches it with me. She gets riled up over some of the topics. It's a show within a show.

Bed Hopping

The husband works very hard. He also plays (golf) very hard. Sometimes he falls asleep in his chair in the evenings. I used to be the sweet wife: "Come to bed, Honey." Then I realized that he wakes up with such a shock that I refuse to be responsible for a heart attack or a stroke. If he's sleeping comfortably, I leave him there. He'll wake up eventually and crawl in bed.

Sometimes we get cranky. You're thrashing! You're snoring! Get your knee off of me.

We both like to fall asleep with the television. Unless it's one of those great Discovery/History/Court TV Channel stories that captures my interest, I'll find another room.

Our cable went out the other day. It was only the digital cable -- basic cable was still functioning. I couldn't find him. I finally found him in the baby's room, watching some sports.

We hop around. I'll take this sofa and this tv. Then, we act like 12-year-olds and sneak up on each other. "What are you watching?" We're stealth bombers with the remotes. If I think he's dozing, I'll grab it. The other night, I put the bedroom remote in a drawer. When he asked for it, I said, "No, you are not sharing so it has gone away for a while."

Last night he was watching sports in our bedroom. He fell asleep. I crawled into bed and changed the channel.

Movie Lines

Other than a couple of bathrooms, there is a television in every room of my home. This probably says something about our intelligence level but I'll dwell on that later.

The oldies always watch tv together and it's either the game show network or a baseball game. He can't see but she tolerates it. I hear the "ding" from the game show network throughout the day and it's a little jarring.

Big Daddy watches the History channel, Discovery or The Golf Channel. We often watch some shows together (we like the ones where the husband or wife whacks the spouse and tries to get away with it) but after that I get bored and move to another room so I can watch what I love: Movies that I have seen over and over again! Again, my intelligence comes into question.

As a writer, I love a well-composed sentence. I also love a memorable line in a movie. Here are a few of my favorites:

I love you more than my luggage.

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.

Take it to the mattress.

Here's Johnny!

Greed is good.

I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love me.

See ya Hubbell.

It was magic.

Winter would be cold with no warm memories.

I'll think about that tomorrow.

You can't handle the truth.

Can you name the movies? What are some of your favorites?

I tried asking the oldies this question. Again, I received the look that says I am from another planet. So, I just said, "Ding!"