Olan Mills

Do you remember when everyone had their photo taken at Olan Mills? It was like buying jeans at Sears -- a given. It seems kind of quaint in this digital age.

I'm struck by the fact that they allowed you to bring your pet -- that's my childhood dog, Candy, in 1975. They allowed you to bring your signs -- that's part of my college gang circa 1982.

A few years ago, the baby and I had our photo taken at church. You guessed correctly -- Olan Mills.

Spay and Neuter Day

I get a little tired of the "Cause of the day/month." Right now it's Black History Month. Next will be Colon Cancer Month, Lung Cancer Month, etc. These are all good causes; I just don't need it shoved down my throat.

Yet, here I go ...

Today is Spay and Neuter day. I feel a little like Bob Barker. "Spay and neuter your pets!" He used to end his sign off on The Price is Right with this saying.

Pedigree dog food is running a series of TV commercials that send me over the edge. Homeless dogs, abandoned pets, etc. They give a portion of their proceeds to appropriate kennels and humane societies. I've been involved in marketing for most of my adult life so I know how difficult it is to get someone to change brands or change behavior.

My spoiled rotten dog doesn't know it but we're changing dog foods.

60 Excess Pounds

Remember when Oprah lost a ton of weight on that liquid diet? Then she carted a wheelbarrel of fat on the stage to show the significance. Like several million other lemmings, I was watching and I was enthralled.

I've never needed to lose gobs of weight. Occasionally a few pounds here and there. Nothing extreme because my vices are different. Not right; just different.
But, I do know what it's like to carry 60 extra pounds. See mine above. (Yes, this is the dog pillow I drag from room to room.)

My office chair is on wheels and I've been scurried around. I've put a leash on her and been dragged through the neighborhood.

The Belle loved her. They used to play ball and of course, I was constantly terrified that she might knock her down. Hangdog has no use for her. (Maybe that's why he isn't living here.) My dad likes her. My mom is in constant fear that she'll bang into her bad knee. And trust me, she will. I like to freak my mom out and say, "I'm coming over and I'm bringing the dog."

My girlfriends are very loving with her. Most of them have big dogs and they have lived through the puppy stage. I think Houseboy might want to adopt her. His wife and sons have taken incredible care of her.

The husband pretends to hate her but he's not fooling me.

A License

It's amazing how many things you are supposed to hold a license.

My dog has a license. I have no idea why or what it could possibly be used for.
I've been married more than once. I got a license.
I have a driver's licence. Ok, makes sense.
I did a bartending gig a few months ago; I now have a bartender's license.
I don't have a permit/license to carry a gun (and I do not have a gun) but that's another thing you need to get a license.
My dad has a fishing license.

Here are a few things that I wish you had to obtain a license:

Adopt a pet
Become a parent
Get a divorce
Shoot off fireworks

I could go out tomorrow and I could adopt a pet, shoot off fireworks, buy a gun and have a baby (ok, that's a stretch.) All of my licenses are in order.

Opposite

Is it opposite extremes or extreme opposites? All I know is we're living it.

In many ways, the husband and I are polar opposites. He would prefer urban living; I prefer a yard and trees. He's enthralled with high-rise condos; I get claustrophobic just thinking about it. He would prefer no pets; I would have several. (We're a little like Green Acres except I'm the farm-living one and he's the big city one.)

When there's a situation or a crisis, something kicks in for him and he does what needs to be done. I go into a coma or curl into a ball.

We have a crisis at the moment. (We had about 12 hours without one -- you can't expect too much.) Lithuania called this morning while the husband was in the shower. They had to call 911 and dispatch the mother-in-law to the emergency room. She is stable now but we don't really know what's going on. Infection is the possible explanation. Her blood pressure and oxygen levels are screwy.

Here's an ironic twist. While the husband was in the shower, I was going through some paperwork from the Home. When the phone call came, I was reading the document that demands a choice: Use all means available or Do Not Resuscitate. Since he has Power of Attorney, the husband must sign this document -- we just had not gotten to it yet. (Silly me, I was trying to let him relax for a few hours last night.)

Sometimes God taps you on the shoulder. Other times He throws a boulder.

Thankful and Full

Today is Thanksgiving and I am truly giving thanks.

We ate early to accommodate schedules. As much as I stressed about the meal, it was unnecessary fretting. Everything turned out well and I believe a good time was had by all. At least no one left hungry. Plus, there's enough football on today to seduce the husband into a coma for hours.

I am thankful for:

The baby home from college and sharing our Thanksgiving traditions.
My father's annual blessing before we eat.
Looking around the candlelit table at loved ones.
The simple fact that we are safe, warm and well-fed.
My mother's culinary contributions. Yum!
The husband taking the dog for a walk after dinner.
The mother-in-law's help with setting the table and chopping endless onions and celery.
The husband and the baby doing the majority of the clean-up detail.
The oldies are going to visit the husband's brother and family for Christmas.

I am sad and/or cranky about:

The grown-up daughter who couldn't be here. There is an empty spot in our day.
Hangdog -- but I'll save the details for another day.

There may be lots of problems in this world. But for today, let's all be thankful for the people who give us a warm heart and a safe haven.

I hope you hug a pet, tell a friend "I love you" and toast the loved ones around your table.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Play Dates

When the children are little, play dates are a way to socialize them and catch up with friends. The children run and romp. They throw sand in each other's faces. You wipe tears and you wipe noses. In a small way, you relive your own childhood.

Then, they grow up. They drive. They go to college. They move to a different city. They are VERY BUSY people who sometimes look at you like you're an idiot. They know it all. And in our smug little way, we enjoy their cockiness. We had a hand in this madness.

Some of us redirect this energy to our pets. My dog had two play dates over the weekend. Unfortunately, every time I put her in the car for more than 10 minutes, she thinks we're going to the lake. Bummer Baby, lake time is over for the season. But, this weekend was filled with play and friends. All of her doggie pals met us at the park and the dogs ran, swam in the creek and romped around. I got to visit with friends and get out of the house for a few hours.

I have adult play dates too. In the summer, Cocktail Corner at the pool is a standing weekend play date. On Monday nights, many of us meet at a local establishment (owned by a friend of ours) and we solve the problems of the world. I don't dread Mondays the way I used to. I look forward to the play date and the laughter.

Theme Dressing

It's that time of year. The ridiculous sweaters and sweatshirts are coming out of the mothballs. Pumpkins and other Halloween things are adorning various articles of clothing. I ran a couple of errands yesterday and they were everywhere. Sunglasses are recommended.

Next up: The Christmas sweaters. Some are gaudy. Some are quite beautiful. Some are stupid. Some have bells on them so the person jingles when she walks. Ear plugs are recommended.

In the interest of full disclosure, I admit it. I own some of these items. I have a black jacket with pumpkins, witches, bright-colored leaves, etc. on it. A few years ago, I wore it to church and when I came home, Big Daddy said to me, "Don't you think it's wrong to wear a jacket with witches on it to a worship service?" Ooops!

I still own a couple of Christmas sweaters. They're in my cedar chest and they haven't participated in the holidays for a while. I have a couple of Christmas sweatshirts and I usually unearth them when I'm decorating the tree or wrapping gifts. They don't get to go out of the house but they do make me a little cheery. It's a ritual. Kind of like Brenda Lee's, Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree.

I own a pair of jingle bell earrings. They give me a headache but I think they're funny so I wear them once a season. Grab your ear plugs if you see me headed toward you.

Beyond dressing a person, some people have theme costumes for their pets. Okay, okay, Gabby has a Santa hat. She only wears it on Christmas Eve. She does not own a Halloween costume.

I also own a sweater set (black, of course) that has a repetitive theme of champagne toasts. I wear it every New Year's Eve. I think it's tasteful but I suspect some of my friends are laughing behind my back.

It's okay to make fun of these costumes. I'm still a (closet) member of the club.