Pay Attention

My cousin-in-law and I had a long conversation last night. We talked about Hangdog. We enjoyed memories of the Belle. I love her on many levels but lately I love her for her bluntness. She is one of the minister's wives I wrote about previously. She does it her way and she cracks me up.

When her husband first heard the calling, she told him, "Maybe he just wants you to join the choir." That didn't fly. So, she tried, "Maybe he wants you to teach Sunday school." He did but it wasn't enough. To his credit, he went for it and continues to follow his calling. I have a special spot of admiration for people who follow their calling. I also have a great respect for those who turn themselves inside out and give wings to their spouse. I'm usually the one running around with clippers.

God speaks to me but it's in a different way. He does not want me to join the ministry. (If I'm hearing correctly, he's saying "Please No!") But he does want me to pay attention to the rocks, stones and boulders he's tossing my direction.

A Minister's Wife

I have been privileged to know many wives of ministers. I realize that women can also be ministers but in my life experience, most of my ministers have been men.

Minister's wife looks a lot like the role of First Lady. No pay but a lot of work.

The chances of me in the position of minister's wife are slim and none. (And Slim left town.)

My aunt was a Methodist minister's wife for several decades. She managed to support her husband and the interests of his many congregations while keeping her own interests, opinions and career goals. Oh, somewhere in the middle she birthed and raised four children. When she married this man, he was a successful salesman. The calling to the ministry came later. She didn't sign up for it but like most successful people, she adapted and did it with aplomb. Now, he has passed away. She continues to support her church, his charities and interests. She does it her way.

Many, many years ago, I was in college and they were visiting my parents. I was in a phase where I liked to ask provocative questions. (I've never really outgrown that stage.) She answered my questions but she prefaced her response with, "My answers may surprise you." She was not afraid to have an opinion.

My cousin (in-law) was our angel during the funeral/travel arrangements for the Belle. The husband refers to her as his honorary sister. She is a minister's wife. She is also a mother and works full-time. While she is extremely supportive of her husband, she does not hesitate to exert her influence or share her opinion.

Women like this take traditional roles and break the mold. They show the rest of us how to do it with dignity. I'm taking notes.