Naked

2:00 AM to 4:00AM is a dangerous time. There's nothing on television except infomercials, bad reruns, and quacks giving advice. I don't sleep well and I'm a sucker so I watch them all.

The other night, the quack of the moment made some profound announcement about learning to love and accept yourself. It involved standing naked in front of a full-length mirror. I have some advice of my own: Don't Do It! If you decide to ignore this advice, don't do it at 3:00 AM.

I'm not a prude. I find the human body beautiful in many forms. I've been skinny-dipping (in the dark.) Michelangelo's "David" is one of my favorite works of art. I change clothes in front of other women without giving it a thought. Here's a shocker: The husband has seen me naked.

But now that I know what he sees, those days may be over.

Naked Week

After dealing with nine loads of laundry, changing bedsheets and putting away the dry cleaning, I'm tempted to declare this "Naked Week."

I realize millions of people take care of laundry and other household chores every day but I still like to gripe about it.

Other than the husband, I have no desire to see anyone in this household nude but come on, I've seen it all.

If I have to watch the various clothing bins fill up again, I may become a streaker.