More Questions to Ponder

This is going around the Internet and my cousin sent it to me. I love these questions. If you have some witty answers, let me know.

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Not Disappointed

Yesterday was the beginning of my goldies weekend. You now how sometimes you look forward to something with such anticipation that you feel let down because it didn't live up to your expectations? This is not the case. So far it's even better than I dared to hope.

Yes, I did cry in the airport.

We all had our questions but Jan kept calling to remind us not to start them without her. We had enough food and drinks for an army. Once the three of us were in the same room, any sane person would've had a head spin. We couldn't talk fast enough. My goddaughters came over and I noticed some eye rolling at how silly the three of us can become.

Did I mention that Jan needed to have her dogs out of her house for a couple of hours so at one point, we had my maniac dog and her three dogs running around. Gabby thought this was a big party just for her!

Other than our husbands and children, we know each other better than anyone else in the world. Yet, we still keep learning about each other. Within the first hour, we had cried and then laughed until we cried our make-up off. All of our quirks and mannerisms came out in full force. We listened to music and interrupted each other to say, "This song reminds me of the time ..." My stomach muscles actually ached from laughing.

And the weekend has just begun!

Questions to Ponder

The Golden Girls and I travel a couple of times a year. We are each required to bring a list of questions. As mentioned in previous posts, we cut them in little strips and carry them with us everywhere. It's a great way to get caught up on our lives and our mindset. Here's a sampling of the list I brought last year:

If you could trade lives for one day with someone you know personally, who would it be and why?

What's the best thing you've done this year?

Who from your past would you like to reconnect with?

If you were back in college, what would you choose as your major?

Name one trait in your children that you know comes from you.

What songs do you want at your funeral?

Would you ever remarry?

What do you pray for?

At what age did you feel like an adult? At what age did you feel middle aged?

Where were you on 9/11/01?

If you had to pick one CD/album to listen to for the rest of your life, which one would you choose?

What do you own too much of?

When someone disappoints you, how do you handle it?

Name something that we did as teens that you never want your kids to do.

Who would you like to see as our first woman president? Why?

What's the one grooming item you couldn't do without?

What technology are you most befuddled by?

Are you politically active? How have you instilled this in your children?

Who can you count on when the chips are down?

Are regrets a bad thing? What do you regret?

Are friendships a fluke or a destiny?

What languages do you wish you could speak fluently?

Is there life on other planets?

What's the weirdest thing going on with your body?

Do you hate anyone? If so, who and why?

Name one thing you know you'll never do but wish you had.

If you won a dream makeover, what would you have done?

If you could re-do your wedding, what would you do differently?

Is there a picture of you "out there" that you regret?

Other than a wedding ring, what's your favorite piece of jewelry or accessory?

We're mid-40s. If you found out tomorrow that you were pregnant, what would you do?

If I met you for the first time, how would you describe yourself?

What's your weirdest quirk?

If you wrote your autobiography, what would the title be?

When you vote, if there's a category that you don't know the candidates, do you go by party or skip that section?

What's the best invention of our lifetime?

If your child were in a relationship that you did not approve of, how would you handle it?

Name one thing you wish you had more time for.

Ask yourself. Ask your friends. I would ask the oldies but apparently, I already ask too many questions.