If I Were a Boy

I was watching Beyonce perform on The Today Show this morning. I know who she is because I see her picture in People Magazine all the time. But, I admit to an unfamiliarity with her music. One of the songs she sang was "If I Were a Boy." It was as if someone knocked me over. Here are a few snippets of the lyrics:

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man.

And ...

You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you've taken her for granted.

At this point you're probably thinking that I'm reflecting on my own personal relationships. Of course that's a factor but it goes much beyond that.

I know some amazing and honorable men. Men who don't cheat, don't verbally or physically abuse anyone. Men who treat their wives, mothers, daughters, friends and employees with kindness and respect -- even if the women are stupid enough to provoke them.

I also know some cads. Some of them are lovable cads and frankly, since I'm not married to them, I don't really care what they do as long as they treat me with respect.

A few times I have been accused of wanting to be a man. I've never quite grasped that. Does that mean I want to be paid the same as a male colleague doing the same job? Guilty. Does that mean I feel my opinion should carry as much weight as the men in the room? Guilty.

I don't want to be a man. I'm pretty strong but I'm still a girly-girl at heart. To paraphrase Beyonce:

You're just a boy.
I would be a better man.

The La La Song

We're inundated with oldies' paperwork. Every day, I bring in the mail and make a neat little stack for the husband. Every night, he reads it, enjoys his freak out moment and then either shoves it toward me or he reads it to me.

I do not like to be read to. I've been reading on my own for many decades. My latest choice is to put on a smiley face and send my brain to the La La Song:

La La La La, La La La La, Hey Hey Hey Goodbye.

Then we add the paperwork to the tower that is overtaking our kitchen. I keep humming. The husband asks, "What are you singing?"

"Nothing Honey." La La La La ...

Musical Talent

I have zero musical talent. I love music and I'm in awe of people who can sing and/or play an instrument.

The husband and the mother-in-law play by ear. They can listen to a song and sit down at the piano and fake through it. It's amazing. Their musical styles are different but I love it all. He plays in a band and can pick up multiple instruments and play them with ease.

Here's how we ended up with a piano. About 10 years ago, a girlfriend decided to sell hers as a part of her divorce. I couldn't afford it but I knew it would be great for Big Daddy. It was to be his Christmas gift but the delivery people couldn't bring it until after Christmas. I had a girlfriend take a photo of me, ala Michelle Pfeiffer in "The Fabulous Baker Boys," and I wrapped it for Christmas morning. Then, one of my friends said, "No." I will find someone to deliver it on Christmas Eve. To my amazement, he did. For extra fun, I had to dismantle and move the Christmas tree. Then I had to have Big Daddy's friends keep him busy for hours while I waited for the delivery. Their idea of keeping him busy was hitting golf balls through the clubhouse, drinking and calling me a lot.

When he finally came home, we had the piano in place. It took him a few minutes to notice the Grand Piano in the living room. Another glass of wine? Actually he was overwhelmed by the people milling about -- he promptly sat down and played.

We've had some of our best times in this house standing around the piano with friends and family. Both kids are fascinated with music.

The dog has some musical talent. She works that squeaky ball and I sing along. "Sing, sing a song. Make it simple ..."

Soundtracks

The husband (Big Daddy) and the child (Baby) gave me an iPod for Christmas. As I download music and go through favorite songs, I am transported in time.



I picture girlfriends singing their lungs out to REO Speedwagon, Lynryd Skynyrd, The Beatles, Boston, Rod Stewart, SuperChamp, etc.



I think of every boy that this was "our song."



I think of every concert I attended with my dad. George Jones and Willie Nelson rule. George Strait too. I'm a huge fan of country music now but as a child, I was mortified to get on the school bus and be singing or humming some country song.

I know which songs make me feel sad, make me feel sexy, make me feel loved. It's an interesting journey. Some people track their lives through photos. I think I'm doing it with songs.