The Dance

Any joy or relief I used to find in music is temporarily on vacation. I can't enjoy music because every song and every artist evokes a memory. It's my own fault; I married a music man.

Of course, I enjoyed music long before I met him. But, when you are with a music man, it goes to new heights. You get absorbed in his knowledge. You associate songs (and especially lyrics) with happier times. You marvel at his mind and his talent. Happier times involve singing around the piano or dancing on the patio. You remember every concert, every dance, every quiet moment -- and what song was playing at the time.

My iPod hasn't been on in months. I have broken two nails jabbing the radio station buttons in the car. I turn it off but then the music in my head is worse than whatever they might play next.

I love country music and I thought I was safe with that. Unfortunately, they are playing Garth Brooks' "The Dance" a lot lately. This is a song the husband learned to play on the piano for me, even though he is not a fan of country music. It is sad and haunting. It is appropriate but we didn't know it at the time.

From The Dance:

And I, I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end, the way it all would go.
Our lives, are better left to chance.
I could've missed the pain
But I'd have had to miss the dance.

Dating

No, I have no plans to start dating. But, between the data transfer needed and some issues from our latest round of storms, I'm starting to feel like I'm going steady with the computer guy. He's the perfect date: he's pleasant and polite; he's patient with my questions. He doesn't touch me and I don't touch him. He fixes things and generally does what I ask him to do.

Of course, it stops feeling like a date the moment I get out my checkbook.

Most women will list traits like kindness or sense of humor as qualities they want in their ideal mate. Yes, they are important but they're not enough. I think you should aspire to a well-rounded person who can fix or do things, including:

Fix the computer, fax machine, printer and scanner;
Remove the overgrown trees and bushes, plus the rampant poison ivy;
Prepare your taxes;
Manage your finances;
Advise about real estate;
Understand investing and the markets;
Answer your legal questions;
Fix the plumbing and/or electrical problems;
Fix a leak in the roof;
Understand politics and explain its historical context.

I realize it's a pipe dream for all of these talents to come wrapped in a single package. Especially if you expect a sense of humor too.

The husband has many of these talents so I'm not complaining about him. But, his passions are music and golf. I don't tend to have a lot of emergencies or urgent needs in those areas.

At least he's not the jealous type. He doesn't mind that I'm spending more time with the computer guy than with him.

Musical Talent

I have zero musical talent. I love music and I'm in awe of people who can sing and/or play an instrument.

The husband and the mother-in-law play by ear. They can listen to a song and sit down at the piano and fake through it. It's amazing. Their musical styles are different but I love it all. He plays in a band and can pick up multiple instruments and play them with ease.

Here's how we ended up with a piano. About 10 years ago, a girlfriend decided to sell hers as a part of her divorce. I couldn't afford it but I knew it would be great for Big Daddy. It was to be his Christmas gift but the delivery people couldn't bring it until after Christmas. I had a girlfriend take a photo of me, ala Michelle Pfeiffer in "The Fabulous Baker Boys," and I wrapped it for Christmas morning. Then, one of my friends said, "No." I will find someone to deliver it on Christmas Eve. To my amazement, he did. For extra fun, I had to dismantle and move the Christmas tree. Then I had to have Big Daddy's friends keep him busy for hours while I waited for the delivery. Their idea of keeping him busy was hitting golf balls through the clubhouse, drinking and calling me a lot.

When he finally came home, we had the piano in place. It took him a few minutes to notice the Grand Piano in the living room. Another glass of wine? Actually he was overwhelmed by the people milling about -- he promptly sat down and played.

We've had some of our best times in this house standing around the piano with friends and family. Both kids are fascinated with music.

The dog has some musical talent. She works that squeaky ball and I sing along. "Sing, sing a song. Make it simple ..."