Dating

No, I have no plans to start dating. But, between the data transfer needed and some issues from our latest round of storms, I'm starting to feel like I'm going steady with the computer guy. He's the perfect date: he's pleasant and polite; he's patient with my questions. He doesn't touch me and I don't touch him. He fixes things and generally does what I ask him to do.

Of course, it stops feeling like a date the moment I get out my checkbook.

Most women will list traits like kindness or sense of humor as qualities they want in their ideal mate. Yes, they are important but they're not enough. I think you should aspire to a well-rounded person who can fix or do things, including:

Fix the computer, fax machine, printer and scanner;
Remove the overgrown trees and bushes, plus the rampant poison ivy;
Prepare your taxes;
Manage your finances;
Advise about real estate;
Understand investing and the markets;
Answer your legal questions;
Fix the plumbing and/or electrical problems;
Fix a leak in the roof;
Understand politics and explain its historical context.

I realize it's a pipe dream for all of these talents to come wrapped in a single package. Especially if you expect a sense of humor too.

The husband has many of these talents so I'm not complaining about him. But, his passions are music and golf. I don't tend to have a lot of emergencies or urgent needs in those areas.

At least he's not the jealous type. He doesn't mind that I'm spending more time with the computer guy than with him.

House of Cards

When I was a child, several of my friends used to play that game where you built a structure out of playing cards. Sometimes the house would get pretty tall but it only takes one slip up for it all to come crumbling down.

The oldies were heartbroken when they had to sell their home in Holly Springs, MS. They understood the logic and they were grateful to us but it was hard. From Indiana, the husband coordinated with various repair people, as well as constant conversations with the Realtor. We (along with his brother and sister-in-law) made numerous trips to Mississippi to pack, clean, haul, etc. (I've told you how much stuff she packed into the dungeon. Imagine 30-plus years of stuff in this house. Now double it.)

Still, I was sympathetic to the loss of their home, their town, their beloved neighbors and friends. One of the gifts I bought for the mother-in-law this Christmas was the book, "Home to Holly Springs" by Jan Karon. She never got to read it.

The reason I'm thinking of this today is we are pushing mid-February. About 8 months ago, the oldies took a trip to visit friends and relatives in Mississippi. They returned and requested a family meeting -- never a good sign. They informed us that they had signed a contract to build a house in a new subdivision in Sumrall, MS. (Very close to Hattiesburg, where she was from.)

The Belle was strong willed but the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. The husband went a little crazy. In addition to the financial risks and the lack of a nearby VA facility, his constant argument was this: "It's a house of cards. It's one fall or one car accident or one medical emergency away from complete disaster." Somehow, he managed to convince her that this real estate deal was an extremely bad idea. Somehow, he let her believe it was her decision. Then he got to deal with the builder, more attorneys, etc. and unravel this disastrous deal. Plus, get their money back.

If the deal had proceeded, this is the week the house was supposed to be done.

She did go home to Mississippi. Just not the way she planned.

Traveling Times

I'm starting to get a little worried about the oldies. I seem to have to have something to fret about.

They're on their trip and they check in every few days or so ... mainly so I can take care of mail or hear updates on the relatives. The tide has turned. Now, it's usually me calling her.

The other day I called her cell phone and I got the father-in-law. At some point in the conversation he mentioned the beautiful properties they've seen. Well, this sent my brain into overload.

He can't see (although he fakes it very well.)
Are these relatives' and friends' properties or are they scoping out properties to purchase?

They're 84-years old. They certainly don't need our permission to decide the next stage in their lives. Maybe I've misinterpreted the entire conversation. When I mentioned it to the husband, he said, "Let it go -- we'll be dealing with it soon enough."

This is probably much ado about nothing but at what point do you say, "No!" At what point do you take the car keys away? (We're nowhere close to that.) At what point do the decisions change hands? A power-of-attorney isn't enough when you all live under one roof.

At what point do you just let the guilt wash over you?

The husband has a trip next week and I am freakishly excited at the prospect of some time alone.

But, I'm guessing I'll get two hours and then the oldies will roll in.