In the 80s, I loved the show "thirtysomething." Some found it cloying and annoying (mostly men) but I was a faithful viewer. They dealt with a lot of real issues and it was an interesting mix of friends.
I'm thinking about this because yesterday was the daughter's birthday and she is 30-something. I did not birth her but I have been around for a long time. I have witnessed several of her phases, as she has witnessed mine. Her mother deserves most of the credit for the person she is today but the other parents had a hand in the effort.
Our relationship has been pretty honest, even when it's painful. I prefer it that way and she insists on it. It saves a lot of time and heartache when you don't have to dance around things. You can just say, "I'm angry and here's why." Of course, you must be prepared for the response. Usually, it's "I'm angry too. Here's why." I have this kind of relationship with my mother and I value the same with the daughter.
She's made choices I would not have made; she's made choices I envy. I"m prejudiced but I think she's smart, brazen and beautiful. Even when we disagree, we're on the same team. Lots of families don't have this gift.
Happy Birthday Week JC!
Showing posts with label stepchilden. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stepchilden. Show all posts
Friday, August 8, 2008
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Girls
With due respect to Martina McBride, this one's for the girls.
A lot of men wish for sons to carry on the family name. I say to the girls, "Keep your own name." (You got married, not adopted.) Or, take his name but keep your own. We have options.
When the chips are down and the next disaster strikes, it's the women who pull it together. Sons gravitate to the wife's family. This may change at some point but I'm convinced it won't be in my lifetime.
Many of my friends are dealing with their own version of the oldies. The men send checks, mow the lawn, paint the fence. The women hold their hand, help them dress, clean up bodily messes, buy cards, make phone calls, schedule appointments, listen to stories, go to the grocery, pick up prescriptions ... I could go on and on.
If you're lucky, you've got a son for about 20 years and then you become an afterthought. If you're really lucky, you have a daughter, a stepdaughter, a goddaughter ... they're with you for life.
Girls rule!
A lot of men wish for sons to carry on the family name. I say to the girls, "Keep your own name." (You got married, not adopted.) Or, take his name but keep your own. We have options.
When the chips are down and the next disaster strikes, it's the women who pull it together. Sons gravitate to the wife's family. This may change at some point but I'm convinced it won't be in my lifetime.
Many of my friends are dealing with their own version of the oldies. The men send checks, mow the lawn, paint the fence. The women hold their hand, help them dress, clean up bodily messes, buy cards, make phone calls, schedule appointments, listen to stories, go to the grocery, pick up prescriptions ... I could go on and on.
If you're lucky, you've got a son for about 20 years and then you become an afterthought. If you're really lucky, you have a daughter, a stepdaughter, a goddaughter ... they're with you for life.
Girls rule!
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