Bathing Suits

I was going to save this one for later. I'm sure you are so very tired of hearing about my clothing and my closet purge -- I am even sick of it. But, since the swimsuit story was brought up in a recent comment, I thought I'd go ahead and share.

The visual is just thrown in for comic relief. I don't know these people but they sure remind me of some swimsuits I've owned.

When I came to the swimsuit section of my closet purge, I was once again reminded of every vacation and every summer for the last 20 years. I used to buy one or two suits a year. Some years I would splurge at an end-of-season sale and buy several. I've bought a few on vacation. For someone who does not enjoy shopping or trying on swimsuits, I have always had many and seemed to be on an endless pursuit of new ones. I have worn them all and apparently, I've kept them all.

They even have little categories in my mind:

Two-piece suits. Only to be worn on vacations. Never to be worn on any kind of business trip or to the husband's club.

Comfortable one-piece suits. Usually older and great for lake weekends.

Wild patterns and colors. Usually bought on a whim while vacationing somewhere tropical. Often with matching sarong, which seemed important at the time. Lived at the bottom of the pile until next trip.

Trusted standbys. Love them. Worn them for years. My regulars for cocktail corner. All of my friends have seen them but I will continue to wear them until they are worn out or I am.

Dressy suits. (I am not making this up.) I bought a couple of suits that were shimmery and not anything you would wear off a diving board. These were for ski trips that might end with a dip in the hot tub or other such occasions.

My friend Lynn helped me sort through them. Remember, we only recently reconnected and she had no idea that I had amassed this ridiculous amount of clothing. I think the swimsuit collection put her over the edge.

She made lots of politically-incorrect statements about the women who would line up to get my vibrant and glitzy suits. She made a tough clean-up job a whole lot easier with the laughter we shared.

The majority of the suits are gone now. I will have to make do with my trusted standbys. They were always my favorites anyway and I haven't been in a hot tub in years.

Water and Fire

You know my obsession with water. Give me a lake, a pool, an ocean, a bathtub ... I'll take a swim. Now it's autumn and there's a chill in the air. It's time for fires.

If I like something, I want "two of 'em." It's a trait I was born with. Selfish? Yes. But the giving part of my personality wants everyone else to have one too.

We bought a fireplace for the oldie's room. Our bedroom also has a gas fireplace. Our living room has an old fashioned, wood-burning fireplace that I enjoy hauling wood to keep it going. I consider it two minutes of camping.

I grew up without a fireplace in my home. I was very confused about how Santa was going to shimmy down the chimney when we didn't have one. Lucky for my parents, I was gullible enough to buy whatever story they told me. Even when they broke the bad news, I knew I was lucky. I don't need some fat man at the North Pole -- I lucked out with them. (I still like the fantasy.)

We also have one of those fire pits on our patio. On my best days I can sit in front of a fire and then swim in the tub.

Fish Man

Yes, I'm referring to Michael Phelps. What a coup! What fun to watch each race and see history in the making. I think I rivaled his mother with tears when he won his eighth medal.

I'm glad his competition is over. He kept me up way past my bedtime for too many nights. Plus, I was so jazzed up that sleep was impossible.

Is he the greatest athlete of all time? Lots of commentators are debating this. Is he above Michael Jordan? Tiger Woods? Babe Ruth? I don't know. I just know he captured my attention and I became a cheerleader.

Swim Walking

The husband and I have now owned two Labs. Both had to be taught to swim which is a skill that is supposed to be intuitive. Our current maniac could use the ladder with her first water experience but couldn't quite muster the courage to get in on her own.

It's a little like when a child is potty trained. As of this weekend, she can now do it on her own, although she uses the ladder. She's a wuss. She doesn't swim out very far; she likes it best when her feet can still touch the bottom. Her front paws are paddling and my friend has termed it "swim walking."

I remember faking stomach aches to get out of swim lessons and then I experienced the baby doing the same. Now we both swim like fish. My mother, who spent the bulk of her teenage years in Florida, still swears she can't swim. I think she's not giving herself enough credit.

We couldn't get maniac dog out of the water this weekend. She vacillated between swim walking and actual swimming. Maybe next year she'll learn to dive off the pier.

I Double Dog Dare You

I am a weenie and a scaredy cat. Yet, water brings out the rebel in me.

My mother takes some water classes but she's constantly reminding me that she is not a swimmer. Because of her fear of water, she made sure I took swim lessons. (I made sure I had a stomach ache whenever necessary.)

I sat in Cocktail Corner yesterday and watched kids go off the diving board. They gang up on each other, whether the child is two-years old or 17-years old. They scream, "Do a cannonball, do a back flip, do a belly flop." They double dog dare each other and I am transported in time.

How many hours did I spend standing on the side of that pool teaching the baby to dive? How many times did he develop a stomach ache before the swim class? I might be a wuss but there's something about that diving board. Before the summer is over, I will dive, flip and flop.

As we had our first pool-side cocktail yesterday, one of my friends said, "Just get it over with." No. I like the anticipation.