Marital Strife

The Belle told me that the sex organs are the last ones to go. I tried to wipe that image out of my head.

On the "Today Show" the other morning, they featured two couples. Both had written books and both had to do with their sex lives. One couple chronicled their experiment to recommit to their sex life over 101 days. The other couple vowed to have sex every day for 30 days. Maybe you have to understand my sense of humor but I found this intriguing and hysterically funny.

Marital issues usually come down to:

Money
Children
Exes, if you have them
Parents
Household chores
Sex

We don't fight about household chores. I do as many as I can stand. My dad pitches in with projects. Houseboy does the bulk of it. I've never mowed a lawn in my life and I plan to keep it that way. I'm pretty good at weed pulling.

We don't fight about sex either. We prefer to annihilate each other over more mundane things.

Then, it's the middle of the night and your legs are intertwined. Or, you decide to clean your wedding ring and you read the inscription inside for the millionth time. Or, you dance on the patio and fight about who gets to lead.

Or, you go to a wedding and hold hands and then say quietly to each other, (like you're speaking to the bride and groom,) "Don't do it!" This cracks us up.

Forget that list above. I'm convinced a sense of humor will see you through.

'Tis the Season

It's wedding and graduation season. We've reached the point in our lives where most of these ceremonies are for children of our friends.

Folklore tells us that all brides are beautiful. I'm not buying it. I've been to some weddings where the bride was uggo and the dress did nothing to flatter her. It's kind of like saying all babies are beautiful. Maybe they are beautiful to the parents but some of them look like Mikhail Gorbachev.

The White House released photos a few weeks ago of Jenna Bush and her new husband. She was a beautiful bride and I liked it that they chose an intimate setting on the Crawford, TX ranch rather than a full-blown, media-infused White House wedding. I'm paraphrasing a quote that was attributed to Laura Bush: We will be leaving the White House but Jenna and her husband can always walk this land and enjoy the memories of their wedding.

The Belle was a gorgeous bride. I find myself browsing through their wedding photos every time I am looking for a particular picture.

Graduation parties have gone the way of childhood birthday parties. Parents (usually the mother) spend hours or weeks assembling photos for scrapbooks or videos. Scheduling becomes a project worthy of NASA attention.

"Tis the season to wish a lot of young people well as they embark on new chapters. "Tis the season to write a lot of checks. 'Tis the season to keep some tissues handy.