Fliers

When I was a cheerleader, they did not use this term. When both my goddaughters did it, they were fliers.

Fliers stand at the top of the pyramid and count on the people below to catch them. Fliers get tossed around. In their 40s, fliers get picked up by big men and swung around the dance floor. Fliers are the little people who get pulled under the table.

College football was massive in my day. We had a crummy team but we were there supporting our guys. I hope they don't do this anymore but it was normal for some big guy to pick me up and start passing me through the stands. I loved all these guys and for a wimp like me, I was never scared.

I've always had big guys to save me.

Kamikazi Birds

Birds are a sign of evil, at least that's what my wacky grandmother taught me. Then, she ended up owning a pet bird later in life. She would let Petie fly around her apartment and land on her head or arm. Go figure.

We have a tree in our back yard that produces some sort of wild berry. This is time of year when the berries ferment and fall. The birds go crazy eating them and then they get confused (or drunk) and fly repeatedly into windows. Bang! Sometimes they can shake it off and fly away. Other times, they bash their little heads and they die in my yard. Gabby thinks this is great fun so I must deal with their corpses. This causes me to squeal. I'm always hopeful houseboy is here or my dad will show up when I'm faced with this situation. Yes, I am a wimp.

But, when I have to do it, I can.