Have it Your Way

Remember Burger King's little ditty in the 70s?

Hold the pickle, hold the lettuce,
Special orders don't upset us,
All we ask is that you let us,
Have it your way.

I like to have it my way.

We tend to frequent the same restaurants. They are very accommodating. Last night, our server placed my order with this request, "Make it Sheri sized."

Commuter Marriages

The oldies died when they were both 84-years old. If my math is correct, he retired roughly 30 years ago. Although the Belle continued to work for several years, the rest of their time was spent together. Once she took a weekend trip with her sisters but other than that, they did everything together.

If she didn't feel well, he stayed in bed next to her. If she had a hair appointment, he went with her. If she was frying up breakfast, lunch or dinner, he watched. Sometimes she would go into the baby's room to play cards on the computer or listen to music the baby had downloaded for her. Hangdog would follow behind and stretch out on the bed in that room. He had to be near her. Sometimes you could witness a flash of annoyance but for the most part, I think she considered it a compliment.

I, of course, cannot comprehend this. It's sweet to watch but if I were living it, I would have an immediate attack of claustrophobia. (Sometimes I'm obsessed with the clock and counting down the hours until he will leave. It's not lack of love; I just need my own time and space.)

We have reached the stage in life that most of our friends are empty nesters. After the initial shock and reality that your little chickens have actually flown the coop, people start to make decisions. Some travel more. Some decide they didn't really like each other after all and they get divorced. Others (who have the financial means to do so) invest in second and third homes.

I'm both intrigued by the thought and exhausted for those people who manage it.

Last night, the husband and I caught up with a friend for dinner. He wasn't alone because he's single; he's alone because his wife is in their Colorado home. He will join her this weekend. Their Indiana place is home base, probably because he can run his business and it's centrally located. Later, they'll go to their home in Florida. Do I sound jealous? (Maybe I am -- just a wee bit.)

More of my friends are choosing this option. My friend, Big S, spends the majority of the winter in her Arizona home. Her husband flies in every 10 days or so. Another friend spends her winters in Florida and her summers at her lake home. They also have a home in Indianapolis. She and her husband probably spend as much quality time together as the husband and I do.

Which saying is true? "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" or "Out of sight, out of mind." It's a little Pollyanna but I think it is the first expression.

Trapped

I went to the BMV yesterday to renew my driver's license. Some psycho woman was in line behind me and insisted on repeating the same phrases: "I didn't get my tags, did you?" I tried the polite smile and the minimal answer. It didn't work. "Are you sure we're in the right line?" (I'm very unclear about when she and I became a "we.")

I seem to attract these people. When I'm on an airplane, the stranger next to me ignores my obvious obsession with the crossword puzzle or my book. He or she feels the need to tell me about the job and the kids. Great! Good for you! Get your elbow off the armrest and we'll get along fine.

I used to think living with the oldies was a trap. I see the situation differently now.

A few times in my life what I viewed as a trap turned out to be a safety net.

Don't Forget the Old Days

During a friendly chat last night, a friend of ours was lamenting his unending fear of the dentist. There was a little nervous laughter and then he explained.
"If I sat in his chair as a 6-year old in 1945 and he was roughly 70-years old, that means he went to dental school in the 1800s. How current was he?"

One of my brothers-in-law is a dentist. I wish he didn't live 4 hours away because we all want to go to him.

I'm pretty sure the daughter and the baby have not witnessed laundry run through the ringer and hung on the line to dry. Microwave popcorn is older than the baby. I grew up with plumbing in the house but visits to relatives occasionally involved outhouses. They also involved fun things like swimming in a lake, sitting around a bonfire and actually discussing things. No one had an electronic device plugged in an ear or molded to their palm.

Dentistry is painless and routine to our children. Don't I sound like an oldie?

My childhood/early adulthood dentist was a hip-hopping dude in the 70s. He wore psychedelic shirts and multiple gold chains. He was not patient friendly but he did freely dispense nitrous oxide for fillings. I found out later that he enjoyed hauling a tank of it to parties and enhancing the atmosphere with a mood-altering substance.

In the early or mid 80s, I was with a group of girlfriends celebrating a new job for one of them. He approached our table and he was still wearing his gold chains and a loud shirt. Thankfully, he was not carrying a tank. We did not bite. (or spit.)

Grilled by the Carpet Cleaning People

Our carpeting is destroyed. I wish I could place the blame on the oldies but we've all participated.

I explained which areas I would like cleaned. I said there are many stains. She thought it might be fun to discuss how these stains came to be. (Yeah, I'm convinced this will change the approach to the carpet cleaning.) But, I'm game. I filled her in:

We have a big dog. She has not learned to wipe her feet properly.

We used to have oldies. Every fall involved some kind of blood stain. Sometimes we had double falls and the blood looked like a scene from The Shining.

The husband reaches for the remote or his glasses. A glass of red wine is often the casualty.

The path from the kitchen to the patio includes a trek through the living room. Meat drips happen, especially if you're carrying the tray after some wine.

We like to entertain. We don't freak out if something is spilled. Obviously, we don't do a super job of cleaning it up.

At the end of this discussion, she was very anxious to book my appointment and get off the phone. I was just getting started.

Jeans

I watched a makeover show recently and they insisted the participant get rid of her "Mom" jeans. They made her look dumpy. No one explained the term "Mom jeans."

My selection of jeans is far too elaborate. I have jeans in various sizes and various lengths, depending on the shoes I plan to wear. I have jeans I wore in college. They are my faves, holes and all. I try to only wear them around the house because they are not the most attractive item in my closet. However, slipping into them is like welcoming an old friend. They're soft and comfortable. They're molded to my body. They bring back great memories.

Several years ago, the husband and the baby bought me a pair of jeans for Christmas. They fit low on the hips and have a little flair at the bottom. I said, "I cannot wear these." They were right. I wear them all the time.

People who wear jeans to church, weddings, funerals or any formal occasion get on my nerves. The husband loves to comment, "Those must be their Good Jeans." I find it disrespectful.

On one of my many shopping trips with the oldies, we bought the Belle some jeans. At first she was hesitant but she went with the flow and grew to love them. Of course, she had to kick it up a notch with jewelry, scarves and a great jacket.

When I took her to the hospital the last time, she was wearing jeans. She was also well accessorized.

Deja Vu

It's been just over one week since we returned from Hangdog's funeral in Mississippi. Our pantry was low on essentials and I had many errands to run yesterday. I was also overdue for a manicure.

Every stop I made -- from the nail salon to the dry cleaners -- involved the same question, "How is your father-in-law?" It started giving me a headache to repeatedly explain his death.

It also warmed my heart that so many of these people seem to genuinely care. In the 2 1/2 years that the oldies lived with us, they certainly left an impression with a lot of people.