Advice I Should Have Heeded

Remember when your parents tried to advise you and you spent most of the time trying not to roll your eyes? Have you ever witnessed that glazed look on a teenager's face while you're trying to share the wisdom of your years?

I'm not talking about values and ethics. I'm talking about simple decisions or skills that might make life easier or at least, save some embarrassment.


Get dressed, put on some make-up and be ready to greet the day.
Wrongo. I have my coffee and head for my office. Unless I have an early meeting, I can start writing and lose track of time. Every one from the FedEx delivery person to the man that tunes the piano has seen me in my ratty bathrobe.

Speak only with kindness.
My mouth gets ahead of my brain. I'm working on it. I do not like to be cornered. I tend to lash out.

Pay your bills on time.
I wish I had the money I have spent in late fees and making things current. It's absurd and insane.

Don't tell people too much.
I'm still iffy on this one. I tell people way, way too much. I have been burned. But I have also learned some lessons about trust.

Don't marry too young.
I don't regret the relationship with my first husband. I do regret that we got married before we were formed as adults. Yes, I know many people make it work. I didn't and I hurt a very nice man.

Make your bed.
I do this. I cannot stand to crawl into an unmade bed. But many times, I may not make it until 3:00 PM when I happen to wander back there. On the days you do not make your bed the moment your feet hit the floor, you will have a plumbing crisis or something that will involve plumbers or workers traipsing through your bedroom and you will feel slovenly that your bed is unmade.

Know your path.
I'm Dorothy on the Yellow Brick Road. Sometimes the bricks branch off and you get to make choices. I know my path today but I am open to the branch in the road.

Elective Surgery

Have you ever seen that woman that had jillions of surgeries to make herself look like a cat? I cannot imagine. Perhaps she has too much money and too much time. I would never choose elective surgery. I'm sure there are needles involved. Plus, recovery pain. And you chose it?!

Hangdog is legally blind. One eye is defunct and the other has minor vision that comes and goes. He swears he has headaches that would "Kick a donkey's ass." (Just one more expression I don't understand.) We've had this looming option --elective surgery to remove the dead eye and deaden the nerves behind it. The eye would be replaced with a prosthetic. For the record, the Belle was against this surgery and that's part of the reason the debate has been shelved and then brought again to life.

Last night, he informed the husband and me that he would like to have the surgery. His heart condition is an issue. All the metal in his body makes operations a tad more risky. Yet, it's his body and his choice. The doctors have told us that the recovery will not be easy. The mental part can be more difficult than the physical healing.

We bounced our options around last night. The husband has discussed it with the doctors and brothers. We have the legal right to make this decision.

Ethically, it's his right to choose.