Exes

If you live in my city and I have known you for any length of time, chances are that I run into your ex.

It doesn't have to be an ex-spouse. Many times it's someone you dated. And trust me, that person wants to ask about you.

Big Daddy's exes are my wives-in-law so running into each other is not a problem. We plan it. We look forward to it.

People slip into a comfortable vocabulary, i.e. "my ex-husband or my ex-boyfriend." Does that negate the rest of the relations? Are they ex-stepchildren? Do brothers and sisters-in-laws become exes? It can get quirky. I need the relationship with my first in-laws. Big Daddy is still very close to his brother-in-law from his first marriage. The legal status may change but the love does not.

Several years ago, we went to hear my (ex)brother-in-law perform. We do this several times a year. I was standing in line for the restroom and a lady asked me how I knew the family. I answered, "I am family." It completely freaked her out. Some people live a much more sheltered life than I do.

The Man with Three Wives

I love all those cheesy Lifetime movies. My favorite is the one about Betty Broderick. It's called "A Woman Scorned." It's actually two movies and they usually run them back to back.

Some of my other favorites are:

Dead By Sunset with Ken Olin(another true story)
When Husbands Cheat with Patricia Kalember (super cheesy and extremely unrealistic!)
The House of Secrets and Lies with Connie Selleca
A Chance of Snow with JoBeth Williams

There are countless others and I'm pretty sure I've seen them all.

The other night I couldn't sleep so I watched "The Man with Three Wives." Beau Bridges plays a doctor who is married to three women: Joanna Kerns, Pam Dawber and some other woman. The juggling and the deception ultimately kill him. (Sorry to spoil the ending.)

I'm living a different version of this movie. The husband is only married to me but he IS a man with three wives. Many women would have a problem with this but I don't. Many, many people feel free to comment to me that our friendship is unsettling. I don't care and frankly, I don't think either of my wives-in-law care either.

There are legal bonds and there are ethical bonds. These are the mothers of his children. Their safety and well-being is important to him. We all may squabble over different things but like any family, we're a unit. That really hit me full force when I stood in front of the Belle's casket (in Mississippi) crying with my wives-in-law.

The daughter and the baby are better off for this relationship. (Although they probably complain about having too many mothers.) We all try to put them first but the truth is, we also genuinely love each other. There's a reason people get divorced but there's also a reason people get married. I did not marry either of these women but I see why the husband did.

We celebrate many things together ... holidays, graduations, and this week, a funeral for the Belle.