Resolutions

It's 2009. Did you make resolutions?

In years past, I attended a New Year's Eve party with friends and at some point during the evening, everyone was to list a resolution for him or herself (unsigned) and drop it in the hat. After midnight, we read them aloud and guessed who resolved what. Lots of the people at the parties were extremely creative types and it made the game more fun.

New Year's does not usually feel like a fresh start to me. Even though I'm a few decades past school age, the back-to-school time always gives me that feeling. But this year is different in good and awful ways. So with that frame of mind, I'm making a few resolutions that I will keep private and I'm making a list that I will share:

1. I may cut back in other food groups but I will eat ice cream anytime I feel like it.

2. Laughter is contagious and I will be a carrier.

3. Instead of feeling weird when faced with that married/single/divorced option on forms, if I check "Divorced" I may add, "AGAIN!"

4. I will not let the awkwardness of being a fifth wheel keep me from gatherings.

5. I will happily say no to things I do not wish to do. No excuses. I'm just not going to do it, thank you for asking.

6. If someone asks me a nosy question, I will remind myself that I am under no obligation to answer.

7. I will guard my reputation in situations I can control. I will be at peace with my character by the decisions I control. What I can't control, I will let go.

8. I will not assume the best about people who have taken the time and energy to show me their worst.

9. I will remember that no one knows me better than me so it's probably best if I speak for myself.

10. With the exception of black pants, black skirts and white shirts, I will remind myself that owning two (or more) of certain things is excessive. (Sorry, no one can own too many black pants.)

11. I will not look in the mirror at my lines with dismay. I will say, "I laughed and I cried. I have earned these wisdom lines -- many with an awful cost. Hi me! Let's see what adventures we can have this year."

12. I will embrace the road ahead of me while hugging the bumps that led me here.

13. I will never again again think I have the power to change someone.

14. I will volunteer more.

15. I will approach conflicting opinions with an open mind. Convince me. Show me what I have not considered. If you can do it with humor, you are guaranteed my attention.

2009 is a blank slate, ripe with opportunity. Happy New Year.

An Anniversary of Sorts

Today is sort of an anniversary. "Sort of" comes into play for a couple of reasons:

Technically, the husband and I got married right after midnight so our real anniversary is January 1st but since the ceremony was at our friends' home during a New Year's celebration, I think of New Year's Eve as the actual anniversary.

Although we will probably both acknowledge this evening in our own way, we will not be doing it as a couple.

It's sort of sad. (OK, really sad.) Yet, it's sort of a relief. It's also sort of mind boggling and scary. It's sort of lonely. It's definitely different than any NYE I've celebrated in the last 18 years.

I'm looking forward to 2009 and I'm sort of ready for this holiday to be over.

Libraries and Bookstores

I own and have read an obscene number of books.  I share and I donate many to my church for our annual bazaar but I still have too many.  Another weeding-out project awaiting me in the new year.

As habits go, it's not a bad one but I must be frugal.  No more strolling through the bookstore and buying whatever strikes my fancy.  So, today I dusted off my library card.  Did you know that you can practically check out an unlimited number of books?  Seriously, I asked.  The limit for one visit is something like 125 books.  I want to interview the person who does that.

It's not the same as cracking open a brand new book and enjoying the tactile experience.  But it's pretty darn close.  (And free.)  I found several titles in my favorite categories.  My nightstand stack is full.

Now I must learn not to dog-ear the pages or write in the margins.  I can't afford to have them revoke my privileges.

For Dog Lovers

I realize there are people who do not like dogs. There are others who may like them but choose not to own a dog due to extensive travel, allergies or other issues. I would willingly give myself a daily allergy shot (and you know how much I love needles) than live without a dog. With the exception of a couple of periods here and there, I have always had one. As long as I am able, I always will.

My dogs have seen me through many rough patches in my life. The Gabster is no exception. Her big brown eyes see my soul -- yes, I believe that. She is loyal and that is a characteristic I admire in people and in animals. She is huge yet she will gently crawl on my lap and lick my tears.

For my fellow dog lovers, here are a few of my favorite dog quotes:

Whoever said "let sleeping dogs lie" didn't sleep with dogs.
-- Unknown

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
-- Anonymous

The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs.
-- Jeanne-Marie Roland

If your dog doesn't like someone you probably shouldn't either.
-- Unknown

When you feel dog tired at night, it may be because you've growled all day.
-- Unknown

To err is human, to forgive, canine.
-- Unknown

The dog, in life the firmest friend. The first to welcome, foremost to defend.
-- Lord Byron

You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson

If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.
-- Woodrow Wilson

Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends.
-- Alexander Pope

He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
-- Unknown

Relatives and Memories

These are my grandparents, Bobbie and Pa. Those were my names for them and I miss them terribly. I think of them every day and now I think of them every time I walk into my mother's office where she keeps this photo on her desk. This photo was taken at my first wedding in 1984. They have both been gone for many years but they do live on in our hearts.

Today would've been Bobbie's birthday. I'm not big on visiting people's gravesites. I'd rather visit the memories in my mind. I can still picture her overly-stuffed house with a feast on the table for every holiday or family meal. I still don't understand how she managed it on her meager budget. I treasure every bowl or platter she gave me. For the rest of my life, any entertaining I do will include some of Bobbie's dishes. When dividing our household items, I have no interest (or moral right) to the silver we inherited from the Captain and the Belle. I will fight to the finish for my dimestore and garage sale glass items that my grandmother gave me with love.

On another note, we just concluded a visit with my aunt and her boyfriend. We only had a couple of days and they went way too fast. But, more memories were visited and more memories were made.

Rudeness

This will not shock you. I despise rudeness. I think it should be the eighth deadly sin. Rude children make me understand corporal punishment. (I am kidding!) Rude adults, especially those in customer service, make me crazy.

On Christmas Eve, I accompanied my mother to WalMart. Not my favorite store but she legitimately needed a few things and I legitimately needed to relieve being stir crazy.

I have worked retail. I did it in high school and college. I did it when we actually had to do math and count change. I did it when we were expected to know the merchandise and where to find it. I did it when our performance reviews were a daily reminder because managers paid attention to customer service.

At WalMart, I experienced three incidents of rudeness:

1. We were looking for a specific cleaning product while wandering through the housewares section. I asked an employee, "Excuse me, may I ask you a question?" She responded, "I don't work in this department." I said, "That is not my question." I proceeded to ask my question and she answered it. Why couldn't she have done that in the first place?

2. One of the items we picked up was stocked in two areas on the same aisle. The price difference for the same item was about $6. I pointed this out to my mother so we could pay attention at check out. I have a mean memory and I knew the rough cost of every item we were buying. Of course, two of them rang up at the higher price. The cashier was rude as she let us know she would have to wait for a price check. Fine with me. When the equally-rude, yet higher-on-the-totem-pole person arrived, I offered to go with her to show her exactly where I found these items. She proceeded to weave and run through the store with the cart as her taser. To borrow a line from Christmas Vacation, "Let's burn some dust. Eat my rubber." We purchased our items at the price listed on the shelf. Saved close to $20 versus what rang up on the register. I was persistent but I was not rude.

3. In the parking lot, we unloaded and I took the basket to the cart corral. On the other side was a woman who could've walked three feet to secure the cart from damaging cars. Instead, she left it rolling toward another car as she backed away. I grabbed it and put it away. If this were football, I would throw my little yellow flag and scream, "Unnecessary Rudeness!"

Today we went to run some other errands. We experienced rude clerks -- the kind who stand and converse with each other and act like you are not standing right there. We witnessed rude fellow shoppers. I may not venture out again for a while.

Trying to Be Tough

Yes, this is how we amuse ourselves. We force three helpless animals to pose together for their Christmas photo. Gabby, my black lab, thinks life is a big game and she would've participated for hours. Harriett can't decide if she trusts Gabby or not but she seeks her out more and more. They never growl or bark at each other.

Ashley the biter thinks that she is Queen of the manor. She runs under furniture or tries to commit suicide by jumping off the bed if she sees Gabby headed her way. She can bark herself hoarse. It must be a little demeaning to demand respect as top dog when you're wearing a diaper.

Please note that Gabby is the dog in this household who does not have a wardrobe.