A Pasadena Day

Yesterday was a Pasadena day and I didn't even go to California.

Instead, the husband and I attended a 70th birthday party for Nick Seats. Oh My Gosh! The people. The memories. My mind was in overdrive.

The party was hosted by his three children and held in the middle child's beautiful home. (I love to see other people's homes.) He was the one who punched me in the stomach when we were children. The fun memories outweigh that one but we still like to joke about it. As I told him last night, I probably deserved it.

His sister is a little wisp of a thing and she is tough as nails. (She'd better be -- she's the mother of three boys.) As she explained to me, "I grew up with two older brothers; I learned to toughen up." Then, she told me she'd stashed her favorite wine. She shared it me. Now that's friendship.

Tons of my old neighbors were there. I heard about their children, grandchildren and some of their great-grandchildren. Big Daddy tried to keep up with the stories but I'm sure he wanted to whack me every time I squealed with delight at seeing someone I had not seen in years.

He's crazy about Nick. Since they've both worked in the same industry, they know a lot of the same people and love to share the different versions of the same gossip. I've worked in this marketing community a long time too but their stories are much more interesting.

Besides my sister, some of the children I used to babysit were there. Most are grown with children of their own. My parents' next door neighbors were there with their daughter. I remember when her older brother was born. We were sitting on the porch and Tony came over to announce, "It's a boy." I remember learning that the boy had just acquired a little sister.

Barb and Bill were there. They used to live next door to the Naked Guy. They have a standing date with my parents for Steak & Shake, games, and whatever floats their boat. All I know is they have taken care of me and they are really good huggers. I'm like Pavlov's dog when they show up. Arms extended -- let's have a hug!

Other people wandered in and I was in full flashback mode. J's high school boyfriend, his wife and two sons. Wow! I know we're all older but he looked the same to me. He was polite but a little reserved. I can't decide if he doesn't like me or if he's afraid I'll start on some trip down memory lane in front of his wife. I would never do that unless too much wine was involved.

Then, we actually went to Pasadena. (Again, not California.)

We don't do reunions in our family. But, the family that's here in town has a monthly version of it. They take turns hosting it. We rarely attend due to other commitments but we went last night. Super, amazing fun for me! I saw a couple of cousins I haven't seen in years. Again, squealing was involved.

At one point in my childhood, my Aunt Judy (mom's sister) and Uncle Don lived down the street. My great-aunt Ann and Uncle Harry lived two houses down from them. My Aunt Connie (mom's sister) lived with us. The saying is, "It takes a village to raise a child." Our village was right there.

I used to ride my bike up and down the street repeatedly. If Uncle Harry was outside, he would say, "Comb your hair!" I have extremely wild, untamed hair. I didn't care as a child and I probably care less now. When I went to college, Uncle Harry made me a comb out of this beautiful wood. It's humongous. I lost it for a few years but now it has a worthy spot in my bathroom. It makes me smile.

My parents cooked and cleaned. No one could feel uncomfortable in their home unless the demon dog bites, but they're pretty good at keeping her away from ankles. She's a lean, mean, fighting machine but she mainly wants to fight with your ankles.

My parents' next door neighbor told me a story about her daughter and my parents. During one of their last parties, Sarah remarked to her mother, "I didn't know old people would stay up so late." In Sarah's mind, my parents are oldies. I should bring her to my house for a day.

We left earlier than I wished, but all in all it was a great day. With golf and business functions, Big Daddy and I attend a lot of parties. Yesterday was two parties filled with memories, love and affection.

Happy Birthday Nick.

My Definition of Family

As usual, I'm bucking the norm. I don't define family by people who are related by blood. I define them by love.

In this day and age, it's not unusual to deal with step-parents, step-children, half-siblings, exes, and more. I have two children ( not blood-related) that I would put my life on the line for. I have two goddaughters (not blood-related) that I would do anything for -- I do mean anything! It may be a cliche but I would throw myself in front of a bus to save someone I love.

Once upon a time, I was a young girl who was in love with a young man. We did the traditional thing -- date through high school, date through college, get married. Somebody should've smacked us both. I did love this man and I have no doubt that he loved me (at that time.) In a non-threatening way, I will love him until the end of time. I refuse to give up his family. Like a dog with a bone, I horn my way in.

The husband has been married before too. Obviously! This has brought new people into my life that I adore. Exes, friends, ex-siblings ... the list goes on. We're all intertwined. It's complicated, yet interesting.

A few times a year, I have lunch with my first husband's parents. I don't have the vocabulary to describe how much I adore these people. Plus, I totally took their son to the mat and somehow they've forgiven me. When the oldies first moved in, I remember saying I had a lunch date with my in-laws. Let your imagination fly!

I am not blood-related to any of my girlfriends. For those in the circle we've created, there is no flash in my brain that says, "Wait a minute -- they're not family."

The oldies had polar opposite childhoods. He's an only child. She's one of a jillion -- blended family and very close. Together, the oldies produced four boys and now are blessed with 12 grandchildren. Yet, life moves on. Children and grandchildren make the obligatory calls. Well, some do. But the reality is different. Life moves on. I admit, it's painful to watch.
We've navigated the most interesting road.

These are people who have been blessed in traditonal family ties. I think they would be even more blessed if they could expand their definition of "family."