I was pretty broken hearted to learn that the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus were living in the bedroom next door. I like denial so I put off reality as long as I possibly could.
My heart has been broken by more than one boy or man. Some things are not meant to be. Some things don't ring true. I try to learn the lesson.
People act like friendships are the easiest things in the world. They're not. Hi hi, kiss kiss friendships are easy. Actually, that's not friendship. It's being an acquaintance. Friendships involve knowing your faults, knowing your parents and children, knowing the disaster of your financial situation or a marriage on the cusp of disaster. It's not easy. Just like a marriage or any other relationship you've chosen, they require commitment, dedication and a strong dose of faith. It's a choice to fold 'em or hold 'em.
You can't divorce your parents or your children. You can surrender a pet but I truly hope you are not one of those people. You can resign from a client. When it comes to friends, all options are open. I've been way, way too obsessed with my own issues, my oldies and my life that I forgot to look around. I've let some people down.
I'm on a mission to fix it. I choose to hold 'em.
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
In-Laws
I am blessed with lots of in-laws. The two I write about most frequently are the husband's parents, but I have more.
Big Daddy has three brothers so I have three sisters-in-law. I have more in common with some than others but we all live in different states so it's easy to get along. I adore their children and I'm grateful for the gift of being "Aunt Sheri." I have an ex-sister-in-law (I hate that phrase but I can't find any other way to describe it) and I try to keep in touch with her too.
I have two wives-in-law. In the 70's, George Jones stood at the podium for some music award and said something like this about the love of his life, who had just remarried:
My wives-in-law have allowed me to help mold the two best children. Instead of being threatened, they've picked up the phone and said, "What do you think about this? How should we handle it?" They've welcomed me and my input without ugliness. (Ok, a little ugliness here and there but never in front of the children.)
Shortly after the oldies moved here, I was headed out the door for a lunch meeting. She asked me about it and I said, "I'm going to meet my father-in-law." Yes, I am divorced from his son. He is still my father-in-law. Sometimes, Big Daddy and I make a point to go see their other son play in an event. I don't say, "This is my ex-brother-in-law."
It's complicated yet, we don't have to over complicate it. Some marriages ended. Mine, Big Daddy's. We've been there. My love still hangs in there. When the baby was going through the graduation rituals, parties, etc., we adored having time with his maternal grandparents. They send us Christmas cards. They've given us homemade gifts. When the daughter lost her maternal grandmother, we all went to the funeral. We all missed her.
Tonight, my parents are having dinner with my in-laws -- not the oldies, the previous ones. I desperately want to be there, but I won't. I'm so proud that this relationship has survived. I'm thrilled that a marriage that didn't last produced a friendship that did.
Big Daddy has three brothers so I have three sisters-in-law. I have more in common with some than others but we all live in different states so it's easy to get along. I adore their children and I'm grateful for the gift of being "Aunt Sheri." I have an ex-sister-in-law (I hate that phrase but I can't find any other way to describe it) and I try to keep in touch with her too.
I have two wives-in-law. In the 70's, George Jones stood at the podium for some music award and said something like this about the love of his life, who had just remarried:
"I'd like to congratulate Tammy Wynette and my new husband-in-law."
My wives-in-law have allowed me to help mold the two best children. Instead of being threatened, they've picked up the phone and said, "What do you think about this? How should we handle it?" They've welcomed me and my input without ugliness. (Ok, a little ugliness here and there but never in front of the children.)
Shortly after the oldies moved here, I was headed out the door for a lunch meeting. She asked me about it and I said, "I'm going to meet my father-in-law." Yes, I am divorced from his son. He is still my father-in-law. Sometimes, Big Daddy and I make a point to go see their other son play in an event. I don't say, "This is my ex-brother-in-law."
It's complicated yet, we don't have to over complicate it. Some marriages ended. Mine, Big Daddy's. We've been there. My love still hangs in there. When the baby was going through the graduation rituals, parties, etc., we adored having time with his maternal grandparents. They send us Christmas cards. They've given us homemade gifts. When the daughter lost her maternal grandmother, we all went to the funeral. We all missed her.
Tonight, my parents are having dinner with my in-laws -- not the oldies, the previous ones. I desperately want to be there, but I won't. I'm so proud that this relationship has survived. I'm thrilled that a marriage that didn't last produced a friendship that did.
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