Recently, I sat with two friends and a gaggle of dogs, enjoying the last summer days. I made a saucy comment, which my friend Cynthia found witty. My other friend said with a straight face, "Oh, you were those mean girls in high school."
Was I?
I remember doing some mean things -- mainly when someone was taking advantage of Jan. She didn't need me to protect her but there I was! If you're going to mess with her, you have to go through me. It's almost 30 years later and I feel the same.
I remember saying some mean things. Ok, let's stop kidding. I say mean things every day -- usually to the husband or the oldies. But, I don't remember saying a lot of mean things in high school. I don't think I had the mental capacity.
My mom and I can say mean things to each other. We're just screwy enoungh to find it funny later. We are extremely honest: "You hurt my feelings," or we make unwelcome comments about each other's lives. The worst is, "I'm just disappointed."
Young girls can be cruel. I remember it from my childhood, I've witnessed it with the daughter and I've watched it with my friends' daughters. I'm oversimplifying but boys just punch something or someone -- girls get verbally vicious. They turn partially Amish and shun someone.
The good news is they grow up and (usually) become nice and kind people. If I was a mean girl in high school, I had a good reason. I'm not a mean girl today. I would never intentially be cruel. If I come across that way, it just means my mouth got ahead of my brain.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Going to the Dogs
Dog love is part of my genetic makeup. I can’t help it. I am crazy about them and there have been very few periods in my life where I didn’t own a dog.
When I was a very little girt (5) I begged my parents for a dog. My mother had a bad experience in her childhood and was definitely not interested in becoming a dog owner. She made a deal with me: If I could find a dog (not a puppy) that was already housebroken, reasonably small and well behaved, I could have it. There was a stray in my grandmother’s neighborhood who met all the criteria. I won! She was probably the best dog ever. She lived until I was in college and by then, my mother was converted. (At one point my parents owned four dogs but now they’re down to two.)
The husband didn’t want a dog when we first got married. He wanted the freedom and flexibility of a pet-free life. So, I sort of tricked him. One day I asked him, “If we were to ever get a dog, what would you get?” He answered and we had a Black Lab puppy within the week. Surprise!
We had her for 12 great years. We spent countless dollars on her. When she died, my friend Abby had to scoop me off the floor of the Vet’s office and take me home.
I let the husband have his way for about a year. I hated every minute of it. I missed walking in the door and being greeted by a big sloppy dog kiss. The house just seemed too clean without dog hair to sweep up. We had many discussions about it. He loved that year – I was miserable. So, once again, I broke the rules. I started investigating new dogs. I corralled the children. “Wouldn’t it be fun to have a new dog?” They (of course) were with me on that, even though they don’t live here anymore.
The husband was adamant that our life is already too full. We’ve got jobs. We’ve have a lot of activity in this house. The oldies don’t like big dogs. A puppy will knock them down. We’ll have to rearrange our schedules to take care of the dog. We can’t afford it. Why would we want to do this? All of my friends have dogs. Whenever possible, we include them. At the lake last week, you couldn't move from one room to another without a pack of four dogs under your feet. When the workout girls go to Phoenix, Big Sal's dogs are there and we happily snuggle with them. We move out of the way so Rudy can have his favorite spot on the sofa.
I got Gabby when she was 7 weeks old. She turned a year old in August. She is crazy about Big Daddy. She annoys the oldies but the mother-in-law spends an inordinate amount of time throwing the tennis ball. The Unabomber just says, “Go away dog!”
Lots of people have expressed feelings about dogs better than I ever could. Here are some of my favorite dog quotes:
My mother thinks I have become one of those weird dog people. You know the type. Sort of like Shirley McClaine's character in Steel Magnolia's. Unfortunately, she's right. I drag my crazy dog everywhere. I'm happiest when she's lying on her pillow in my office or riding shotgun in my car. This is what happens when the children leave home...
When I was a very little girt (5) I begged my parents for a dog. My mother had a bad experience in her childhood and was definitely not interested in becoming a dog owner. She made a deal with me: If I could find a dog (not a puppy) that was already housebroken, reasonably small and well behaved, I could have it. There was a stray in my grandmother’s neighborhood who met all the criteria. I won! She was probably the best dog ever. She lived until I was in college and by then, my mother was converted. (At one point my parents owned four dogs but now they’re down to two.)
The husband didn’t want a dog when we first got married. He wanted the freedom and flexibility of a pet-free life. So, I sort of tricked him. One day I asked him, “If we were to ever get a dog, what would you get?” He answered and we had a Black Lab puppy within the week. Surprise!
We had her for 12 great years. We spent countless dollars on her. When she died, my friend Abby had to scoop me off the floor of the Vet’s office and take me home.
I let the husband have his way for about a year. I hated every minute of it. I missed walking in the door and being greeted by a big sloppy dog kiss. The house just seemed too clean without dog hair to sweep up. We had many discussions about it. He loved that year – I was miserable. So, once again, I broke the rules. I started investigating new dogs. I corralled the children. “Wouldn’t it be fun to have a new dog?” They (of course) were with me on that, even though they don’t live here anymore.
The husband was adamant that our life is already too full. We’ve got jobs. We’ve have a lot of activity in this house. The oldies don’t like big dogs. A puppy will knock them down. We’ll have to rearrange our schedules to take care of the dog. We can’t afford it. Why would we want to do this? All of my friends have dogs. Whenever possible, we include them. At the lake last week, you couldn't move from one room to another without a pack of four dogs under your feet. When the workout girls go to Phoenix, Big Sal's dogs are there and we happily snuggle with them. We move out of the way so Rudy can have his favorite spot on the sofa.
I got Gabby when she was 7 weeks old. She turned a year old in August. She is crazy about Big Daddy. She annoys the oldies but the mother-in-law spends an inordinate amount of time throwing the tennis ball. The Unabomber just says, “Go away dog!”
Lots of people have expressed feelings about dogs better than I ever could. Here are some of my favorite dog quotes:
"If there is no heaven for dogs, then I want to go where they go when I die."
Anonymous
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
Roger Caras
"I've seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts."
John Steinbeck
"The reason a dog has so many friends, is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue"
Anonymous
"A watchdog is a dog kept to guard your home, usually by sleeping where a burglar would awaken the household by falling over him."
Anonymous
"The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too."
Samuel Butler
"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives."
Rita Rudner
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself."
Billings
"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
Andrew A. Rooney
"If your dog doesn't like someone you probably shouldn't either."
Unknown
"In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semi human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog."
Edward Hoagland
"No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich."
Louis Sabin
"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
Dave Barry
"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
Ann Landers
"Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe, we are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made."
Roger Caras
"A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk."
O. A. Battista
"A dog is man's best friend, and vice versa."
Anonymous
"There's just something about dogs that makes you feel good. You come home, they're thrilled to see you. They're good for the ego."
Janet Schnellman
"A dog can express more with his tail in minutes than his owner can express with his tongue in hours."
Anonymous
"It's no coincidence that man's best friend cannot talk."
Anonymous
"A dog's bark may be worse than his bite, but it's never quite so personal"
Anonymous
"I can train any dog in 5 minutes. It's training the owner that takes longer."
Barbara Woodhouse
"You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us."
Robert Louis Stevenson
"You can’t keep a good man down -- or an over-affectionate dog."
Anonymous
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
Rita Rudner
"No animal I know of can consistently be more of a friend and companion than a dog."
Stanley Leinwoll
"When most of us talk to our dogs, we tend to forget they're not people."
Julia Glass
"Any time you think you have influence, try ordering around someone else's dog."
The Cockle Bur
"I have caught more ills from people sneezing over me and giving me virus infections than from kissing dogs."
Barbara Woodhouse
My mother thinks I have become one of those weird dog people. You know the type. Sort of like Shirley McClaine's character in Steel Magnolia's. Unfortunately, she's right. I drag my crazy dog everywhere. I'm happiest when she's lying on her pillow in my office or riding shotgun in my car. This is what happens when the children leave home...
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Looking in the Mirror
I can't figure out when I started avoiding the mirror. It's been several years. I can actually do my hair and put on a slight bit of make-up without ever seeing my reflection. If eye liner is required, I can do it in 5 seconds, minimizing the mirror time.
I'm not fat and I'm reasonably toned for my age. Those three-way mirrors in the department stores are depression on a cracker. That's probably why I don't shop. I have a full-length mirror in my closet and I avoid it like I avoid birds. It gives me the creeps.
I'm not afraid of aging -- I just don't want to watch. I've earned every line. I laugh and cry often and those are the lines I'm most proud of. I could pack a lunch in my forehead but I tell myself that it just means I'm expressive.
God willing, I've got some time to go. I'm terrified of needles so I don't see any plastic surgery in my future.
Some people tell me I look exactly like my mom. They're wrong but I'll take the compliment. Sometimes, people tell me I am the female version of my dad. Ok, he's darn cute so I'll take the compliment. Once I took my Uncle Ken and Aunt Cess to the husband's office. She's my dad's sister. Everyone said, "You look so much alike. This must be your mother." I'll take the compliment.
The oldies have one of those magnifying mirrors. Can you imagine?
I'm not fat and I'm reasonably toned for my age. Those three-way mirrors in the department stores are depression on a cracker. That's probably why I don't shop. I have a full-length mirror in my closet and I avoid it like I avoid birds. It gives me the creeps.
I'm not afraid of aging -- I just don't want to watch. I've earned every line. I laugh and cry often and those are the lines I'm most proud of. I could pack a lunch in my forehead but I tell myself that it just means I'm expressive.
God willing, I've got some time to go. I'm terrified of needles so I don't see any plastic surgery in my future.
Some people tell me I look exactly like my mom. They're wrong but I'll take the compliment. Sometimes, people tell me I am the female version of my dad. Ok, he's darn cute so I'll take the compliment. Once I took my Uncle Ken and Aunt Cess to the husband's office. She's my dad's sister. Everyone said, "You look so much alike. This must be your mother." I'll take the compliment.
The oldies have one of those magnifying mirrors. Can you imagine?
Shocking!
The other day, the husband and I watched our local football team from the comfort of our den. After the game, I offered to go to McDonald's. (Yes, we're health nuts.) I didn't plan to leave the car so I took the dog with me.
Well, I was brain dead and I forgot that she was wearing her invisible fence collar. She started shrieking as she was getting shocked. I was trying to get the collar off and therefore, I was getting shocked. I managed to get it off but I spent the entire trip apologizing to her. Considering the unnecessary trauma I put her through, I thought a couple of bites of my hamburger was a justified reward.
Well, I was brain dead and I forgot that she was wearing her invisible fence collar. She started shrieking as she was getting shocked. I was trying to get the collar off and therefore, I was getting shocked. I managed to get it off but I spent the entire trip apologizing to her. Considering the unnecessary trauma I put her through, I thought a couple of bites of my hamburger was a justified reward.
Monday, October 1, 2007
Television
Ok, I admit it. I love television. My day is a little off if I don't start it with The Today Show. It doesn't matter what's on during the day -- it's just background noise -- although my friend Abby has convinced me that the cooking channel is fun to have on for ambience. I think it's supposed to make you hungry or make you want to cook. It has the opposite effect on me. If the food starts to gag me, I switch to CNN or MSNBC.
I'm an "early to bed, early to rise" person so I can't get into those shows that start at 10pm. Even if I Tivo them, I don't find the time to watch them. (But my local news comes on at 4:30 A.M. amd most of the time, I'm there watching.)
This week started the new season. I must limit myself to a few shows. I'll test some of the new ones and I'll stick with my faves:
Grey's Anatomy (but I'm also going to give Private Practice a chance.)
Desperate Housewives (It's lame, but I'm addicted.)
Brothers & Sisters
Dancing with the Stars
Dancing with the Stars is one of the few shows the husband and I enjoy together. (Well, except for those Court TV docudramas where someone murders a spouse and tries to get away with it.)
The mother-in-law loves it too. She's on her trip and probably not watching it. I miss her running commentary. I wish she could be like Endora on Bewitched and just pop in when I want her here. She loves the dancing and gets riled up at the skimpy costumes.
The husband accuses me of watching soap operas. Not true. But I do love it when I can take a break at 4:00P.M. and watch Oprah. Sometimes the mother-in-law watches it with me. She gets riled up over some of the topics. It's a show within a show.
I'm an "early to bed, early to rise" person so I can't get into those shows that start at 10pm. Even if I Tivo them, I don't find the time to watch them. (But my local news comes on at 4:30 A.M. amd most of the time, I'm there watching.)
This week started the new season. I must limit myself to a few shows. I'll test some of the new ones and I'll stick with my faves:
Grey's Anatomy (but I'm also going to give Private Practice a chance.)
Desperate Housewives (It's lame, but I'm addicted.)
Brothers & Sisters
Dancing with the Stars
Dancing with the Stars is one of the few shows the husband and I enjoy together. (Well, except for those Court TV docudramas where someone murders a spouse and tries to get away with it.)
The mother-in-law loves it too. She's on her trip and probably not watching it. I miss her running commentary. I wish she could be like Endora on Bewitched and just pop in when I want her here. She loves the dancing and gets riled up at the skimpy costumes.
The husband accuses me of watching soap operas. Not true. But I do love it when I can take a break at 4:00P.M. and watch Oprah. Sometimes the mother-in-law watches it with me. She gets riled up over some of the topics. It's a show within a show.
And Then They Are Grown
The daughter is grown. I'm happy for her but I hate it. She lives in another city and I miss her. She's very smart but I am certain that she could use my advice more often than she asks.
The baby is off at college. Sort of grown. I'm proud of both of them but I hate it.
Most of my friends' children are grown or on the cusp. Yes, I hate it. I want their little giggles and snugly bodies. I would even take back the teenage years when some things got dicey. I keep telling my friend Debbie (who still has young children,) "Don't Blink!"
One of my favorite people in the world is celebrating a birthday. I was honored to be invited to join him and his parents on Saturday. We sat outside on a beautiful evening and enjoyed a great Italian meal. He lives in Chicago now. He's all grown up. (I hate it.) But, in my mind, he's that little boy I met many years ago. He's the teenager who got in occasional trouble. He's the one who confided in me about various escapades.
I walked into the restaurant on Saturday and was immediately embraced. I said, "Benny Bear, the Birthday Boy!" He said, "You are the only person I would allow to get away with that."
He's all grown up. I hate it.
The baby is off at college. Sort of grown. I'm proud of both of them but I hate it.
Most of my friends' children are grown or on the cusp. Yes, I hate it. I want their little giggles and snugly bodies. I would even take back the teenage years when some things got dicey. I keep telling my friend Debbie (who still has young children,) "Don't Blink!"
One of my favorite people in the world is celebrating a birthday. I was honored to be invited to join him and his parents on Saturday. We sat outside on a beautiful evening and enjoyed a great Italian meal. He lives in Chicago now. He's all grown up. (I hate it.) But, in my mind, he's that little boy I met many years ago. He's the teenager who got in occasional trouble. He's the one who confided in me about various escapades.
I walked into the restaurant on Saturday and was immediately embraced. I said, "Benny Bear, the Birthday Boy!" He said, "You are the only person I would allow to get away with that."
He's all grown up. I hate it.
My Little Corner
I will start this story by admitting that I am very spoiled. I like it that way.
There's a retail center very near my home. A small grocery, a dry cleaners, a meat market, a drug store, jewelry stores, a bank, a deli, a gas station. This is not a mall. It is truly an old-fashioned, neighborhood hub. I have some reason to frequent at least one of these establishments every day.
It's a little like Cheers,-- "Where everybody knows your name."
Last week, I dropped off a watch in the jewelry store. This is not a Rolex. It's a department store, medium-priced basic watch. I didn't feel like standing in line so I wrote my phone numbers on a napkin (from my handbag) and handed it to someone. They called 30 minutes later but I was headed out of town so I just picked it up today. No charge! I cannot believe how many times they have done that for me and the oldies. If I ever make any real money, I must go in there and buy some jewelry.
The husband bought me a beautiful platter for our anniversary a few years ago. The first time I destroyed it, the silver was dented. So, they sent it off to Italy to be repaired. The other day, I knocked it over and cracked the porcelain. I dropped it off today. Yep, they're sending it off to Italy. I'll get a new one -- no charge.
I popped in the meat market and left a list of things I'd like to pick up tomorrow. They'll have it all packaged and call me when it's ready to go.
The liquor store and the dry cleaners do not offer delivery service but they've both delivered to my home on more than one occasion.
I had to pick up a prescription for the husband and line was long, long, long. The pharmacist motioned to me and opened a new register.
I ran in the deli and told the owner I need a couple of quiches for later this week. She'll call me. She offered to deliver them but how spoiled can I be? I'll pick them up.
After all, I'm over in my little corner every day.
There's a retail center very near my home. A small grocery, a dry cleaners, a meat market, a drug store, jewelry stores, a bank, a deli, a gas station. This is not a mall. It is truly an old-fashioned, neighborhood hub. I have some reason to frequent at least one of these establishments every day.
It's a little like Cheers,-- "Where everybody knows your name."
Last week, I dropped off a watch in the jewelry store. This is not a Rolex. It's a department store, medium-priced basic watch. I didn't feel like standing in line so I wrote my phone numbers on a napkin (from my handbag) and handed it to someone. They called 30 minutes later but I was headed out of town so I just picked it up today. No charge! I cannot believe how many times they have done that for me and the oldies. If I ever make any real money, I must go in there and buy some jewelry.
The husband bought me a beautiful platter for our anniversary a few years ago. The first time I destroyed it, the silver was dented. So, they sent it off to Italy to be repaired. The other day, I knocked it over and cracked the porcelain. I dropped it off today. Yep, they're sending it off to Italy. I'll get a new one -- no charge.
I popped in the meat market and left a list of things I'd like to pick up tomorrow. They'll have it all packaged and call me when it's ready to go.
The liquor store and the dry cleaners do not offer delivery service but they've both delivered to my home on more than one occasion.
I had to pick up a prescription for the husband and line was long, long, long. The pharmacist motioned to me and opened a new register.
I ran in the deli and told the owner I need a couple of quiches for later this week. She'll call me. She offered to deliver them but how spoiled can I be? I'll pick them up.
After all, I'm over in my little corner every day.
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