Peggy Lynn

There is a fourth goldie. Or, she was supposed to be. The goldies call each other, text and email. We are not afraid to say, "I am in my closet and I am scared about my life" Until the other night, I had not spoken to Lynn in 25 years or so.

So I answered the phone to hear, "Hi Sher, it's Lynn." (Very few people call me Sher." Just hearing her voice sent me over the moon.)

I couldn't put a sentence together or gather a coherent thought. I kept picturing us in high school. I was so busy with memory lane that I could not concentrate.

She was the smartest person I knew in high school; she skipped graduation ceremonies.
She was the first person I knew to get a tattoo.
She was the first person I knew to have a baby out of wedlock, even though I personally took her for birth control.
She was the first person I ever knew to steal a car (her parents) and wreck it.
She left a toilet on my parents' lawn. Her sense of humor was contagious.

In our brief conversation, she still managed to shock me:

She does not have a computer, therefore no email.
She does not have a cell phone.
She only gives her phone number to trusted people. (I have it.)

Here's the kicker: she told me she named her second son after my father. For someone who did not spawn a boy, he seems to have a lot of people name their sons after him. She also asked, by name, about my mother. I could not tell you her parent's names if you threatened to pluck my fingernails out.

Jan and I are having lunch with her on Sunday. I cannot wait. I wish Deb would get on a plane and come along.

The Age Old Debate

It's interesting that the nomination of Sarah Palin as a vice presidential candidate has reignited the debate about whether women can have it all: marriage, career, family. Of course I have an opinion but in the interest of full disclosure:

I have never run for public office.
I have never sought power, only a decent living and recognition for work well done.
I have never had a pregnant teenage daughter.
I have never had a "special needs" child. (I hate this term. Show me the child that doesn't have special needs.)
I have never put my career ahead of my family but maybe I should have.
I have never said goodbye to a child headed off to serve our country in a foreign land.
I don't own a gun and I've never shot a moose.

I have almost zero in common with Sarah Palin. It doesn't stop me from studying her. And as a feminist, I admire lots of women, on both sides of the political arena, who choose to serve in government positions. It looks dreadful to me.

We had an interesting debate the other night. A group of people, fresh from seeing our friend sworn into a federal judgeship, talking about the election and the candidates. It got a little animated.

Vice presidents serve in different ways. Some are confidants and trusted advisers. Others are sent to state funerals and marking time in case the president dies.

The debate rages on. I think some women do have it all but they have a strong support network and we never cover the sacrifices they have made.

Frankly, the little I know about Sarah Palin's life exhausts me. But I'm watching.

Teenage Pregnancy

John McCain's choice as the vice presidential candidate, Sarah Palin, has five children. The oldest is in the military and going to be deployed soon. The youngest was born in April and has Down's Syndrome. In addition to being governor of Alaska, she has her hands full with family obligations.

A few days ago, it came out that her 17-year old daughter is 5-months pregnant. The governor is a staunch advocate of abstinence. Someone at home wasn't buying it.

This may or may not be the public's business but in this day and age, nothing stays secret for long. I have never been a pregnant teenager nor have I been the parent of a pregnant teenager. Another bullet dodged. Of course, I did walk around muttering, "Use a condom" a lot.

In my day if a teenager got pregnant, it was an accident. It was a stigma. Some of today's teens think of this as a viable life choice. As adults we know that teen pregnancy often results in:

less education and fewer job options
poverty
less insurance, thus less medical care
loss of youth; loss of dreams
frustration and sometimes abuse

The official statement said the Palin family is proud of her for choosing to have her baby and she plans to marry the baby's father. With teenage pregnancies, there are success stories and there are horror stories.

I'm a proponent of abstinence but come on, that's easy for me to say. I'm married. I haven't been a teenager for a long time. I'm also a proponent of realistic thinking. Some teenagers are going to have sex. They need to know the health and emotional risks. They need to protect themselves.

There are two childhoods at risk: the teenager and the baby that will come into this world.