Sexting

When I was a young girl, our way of letting a boy know we had a crush on him was to:

Pass a note to a girlfriend hoping she would let someone know who could pass the information along to him.
Or, call his house and hang up. This usually happened during sleepovers.

We did not have caller ID. Many of us still had party lines. Even so, teenagers are usually pretty transparent and it's not hard to figure out who has a crush on whom.

Technology has given us many gifts but it has also opened Pandora's box. A survey discussed on morning television today cited that one in five teenage girls admits to sending nude or semi-nude photos of herself to a boy. Apparently, boys are also photographing and posting their private parts.

I can be self-righteous about this because I have never done it and will never do it. But even in my carefree, pre-Internet, pre-social networking and naive days, I NEVER would have allowed a nude photo of myself. Even I was smart enough to realize there would still be negatives that could be redeveloped. There would still be break-ups where people forgot to gather the incriminating evidence.

What seems like a joke, a funny stunt or a dare can become life altering. I would hate to see a loved one denied law school admission because of some slutty photos on My Space. I would hate to see the look on the groom's face when his "friends" show him the wild and reckless days of the bride. I would hate to sit in a job interview and realize the person I am asking to hire me has seen me nude because he's linked in. This all happens. Seemingly, every day.

I've only recently learned to text. Once again, I'm way behind. Once again, I'm glad.

The Stranger I Married

Maybe you've been married 5 years, 10 years, 25 years or more. The spouse is still a stranger. You get lulled into this sense of complacency and suddenly life whacks you on the head. You thought you had it all figured out. Hah, hah -- the joke's on you.

That's part of the ride. I've often fantasized about pulling a bride aside at her reception and giving her this advice:

You are lovely, but you are clueless. He will rock your world in good ways and bad. You will do the same to him. Pick three things right now that you find amazing. Hang on to them when you hate everything about him. Watch your tongue -- hateful words are tough to hear. They tend to come back to haunt you. I hope you are both smart and funny. Those two qualities will serve you well.

My stranger still rocks my world. He's the person I look for across the room. He's always the most handsome man in the room. He puts up with my moods & my snoring. He's the person I can be crabby with. He's disappointed me; I've disappointed him. After umpteen years, he still courts me.

We're legally bound but as we all know, that can be undone. We're financially bound. That too can be unwound. We're emotionally bonded. As I always tell him, "if you ever decide to divorce me, I get you as part of my property settlement." I'll hunt him down.

The oldies and my parents have set excellent examples in marriage. Our marriage is a little different. But, we're still hanging in there.

He's my husband. He's my friend. He's the one I cling to. He's still a stranger.