The Stranger I Married

Maybe you've been married 5 years, 10 years, 25 years or more. The spouse is still a stranger. You get lulled into this sense of complacency and suddenly life whacks you on the head. You thought you had it all figured out. Hah, hah -- the joke's on you.

That's part of the ride. I've often fantasized about pulling a bride aside at her reception and giving her this advice:

You are lovely, but you are clueless. He will rock your world in good ways and bad. You will do the same to him. Pick three things right now that you find amazing. Hang on to them when you hate everything about him. Watch your tongue -- hateful words are tough to hear. They tend to come back to haunt you. I hope you are both smart and funny. Those two qualities will serve you well.

My stranger still rocks my world. He's the person I look for across the room. He's always the most handsome man in the room. He puts up with my moods & my snoring. He's the person I can be crabby with. He's disappointed me; I've disappointed him. After umpteen years, he still courts me.

We're legally bound but as we all know, that can be undone. We're financially bound. That too can be unwound. We're emotionally bonded. As I always tell him, "if you ever decide to divorce me, I get you as part of my property settlement." I'll hunt him down.

The oldies and my parents have set excellent examples in marriage. Our marriage is a little different. But, we're still hanging in there.

He's my husband. He's my friend. He's the one I cling to. He's still a stranger.