In case this phrase has not made it into your vernacular, it stands for Big Ol' Dumb A**. We love this phrase.
Depending on who wins the crossword competition, the husband and I say to each other, "Who's the BODA today?"
I can be a BODA about almost anything. The Middle East? I study and study and I still am a BODA. Politics? I still don't understand the difference between the caucuses and the primaries. I'm a BODA about how Iowa and New Hampshire (two teensy states) have so much influence. I'm a BODA about why the candidate's religious beliefs seem to be front and center, yet no one has caught my attention with exactly how they're going to change/fix the problems in this country.
Elder care is the area that I am struggling with on a daily basis. I am a BODA about the VA system, the Medicare system, the necessary versus unnecessary medications, etc. I am terrified that the oldies are in the wrong hands. I try to tend to things but ...
Last night involved multiple requests. I gave Hangdog a manicure. I fetched things (something I should teach the dog.) If he can't find me, he stands in the living room and shouts my name. I'm thinking of changing my name to BODA.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Shock Proof
There's a difference between legitimate shock or just being jumpy. I'm extremely jumpy but very little shocks me anymore.
Jumpy is harder to cure.
People get divorced. It's sad but it no longer shocks me.
XXXX number of people were killed in the Middle East today. It no longer shocks me.
Some politician (local, national, international) has done something corrupt. It no longer shocks me.
Teenagers push the limit, get caught and still do some stupid things. This is not a shock to me.
Marriage is a marvel of good times and bad times. It took me a long time to learn this but it no longer shocks me.
Sometimes people who you think are on your side will throw you under the bus. I forgive. And, I'm never shocked -- just disappointed.
The moment you're flip enough to think all is under control, God has other plans. Doesn't shock me.
The cutest and most animated puppy in the litter will turn out to be the dog that's hardest to train. Doesn't shock me and doesn't stop me.
Jumpy is harder to cure.
Reckless Mothers
So, I'm watching the interview with the mother of the 6-year old daughter who was trying to win tickets to see Hannah Montana. The mother helped her write a completely false essay about losing her father in Iraq. Turns out, the father is alive and well. The contest people decided she did not deserve the tickets. (Duh!) The mother went on national television to apologize for her role in this fiasco.
Maybe it's a sign of my age but the mother looked about 18-years old to me. Then she mentioned that she has two other children.
In her well-crafted, attorney-drafted statement, she sounded remorseful. Then she made the crucial mistake of answering questions. One question was, "What's the worst thing about all of this?"
She's had to move from her apartment. She didn't mention that her daughter has been taught that cheating and lying is ok. I could go on and on. Her answer was, "I had to shut down my My Space page." This made me crazy.
Britney Spears has once again lost custody of her children. She refuses to comply with those silly court-ordered things like drug tests, visitation rights, etc. Now she's OD'd or had a nervous breakdown and was rushed to the hospital. Her 16-year old sister is pregnant. The mother (Lynne) was writing a book about parenting. The publisher has decided to shelve it. If you were pregnant or the mother of a young child, isn't this the person you would turn to for parental advice?
I have a mother who checks on me daily to make sure I'm ok. She brings me things like notebooks and pens because she knows my affection for school/office supplies. She sends me food.
If I tried to win a contest by writing an essay, she would've made me write it myself. (But she would've helped with proofreading.)
Good mothers let you know that they are always in your corner. They also pick you up, prop you up, point a direction and insist that you stand on your own two feet.
Maybe it's a sign of my age but the mother looked about 18-years old to me. Then she mentioned that she has two other children.
In her well-crafted, attorney-drafted statement, she sounded remorseful. Then she made the crucial mistake of answering questions. One question was, "What's the worst thing about all of this?"
She's had to move from her apartment. She didn't mention that her daughter has been taught that cheating and lying is ok. I could go on and on. Her answer was, "I had to shut down my My Space page." This made me crazy.
Britney Spears has once again lost custody of her children. She refuses to comply with those silly court-ordered things like drug tests, visitation rights, etc. Now she's OD'd or had a nervous breakdown and was rushed to the hospital. Her 16-year old sister is pregnant. The mother (Lynne) was writing a book about parenting. The publisher has decided to shelve it. If you were pregnant or the mother of a young child, isn't this the person you would turn to for parental advice?
I have a mother who checks on me daily to make sure I'm ok. She brings me things like notebooks and pens because she knows my affection for school/office supplies. She sends me food.
If I tried to win a contest by writing an essay, she would've made me write it myself. (But she would've helped with proofreading.)
Good mothers let you know that they are always in your corner. They also pick you up, prop you up, point a direction and insist that you stand on your own two feet.
Self-Inflicted Guilt
I should be Jewish or Catholic. Aren't these the stereotypes for guilty women? Or women who do a great job of inflicting guilt? (Before anyone sends me a hateful message -- I'm just referencing stereotypes -- I didn't say I agree with them.)
I do a great job of guilt but it's mainly directed to me. Today, I feel guilty because the mother-in-law is still in the hospital and I have not been to see her. The husband has gone every day. It's not like I've been sitting around reading or eating bon bons. I've dealt with the car. I've been unraveling the medication system. I've fed and watered hangdog three times a day, plus snacks. I've changed bed linens and started the lengthy job of doing the laundry from their trip. I've kept a couple of the relatives up to date on her condition. I've investigated (or started to) senior transportation options. I've begun gathering information on assisted living facilities. With the husband's help, I've put all the holiday decorations away. In my spare time, I've written three business proposals and paid some bills.
Yet, I still feel guilty. Although I've called twice a day, I haven't been to the hospital.
I do a great job of guilt but it's mainly directed to me. Today, I feel guilty because the mother-in-law is still in the hospital and I have not been to see her. The husband has gone every day. It's not like I've been sitting around reading or eating bon bons. I've dealt with the car. I've been unraveling the medication system. I've fed and watered hangdog three times a day, plus snacks. I've changed bed linens and started the lengthy job of doing the laundry from their trip. I've kept a couple of the relatives up to date on her condition. I've investigated (or started to) senior transportation options. I've begun gathering information on assisted living facilities. With the husband's help, I've put all the holiday decorations away. In my spare time, I've written three business proposals and paid some bills.
Yet, I still feel guilty. Although I've called twice a day, I haven't been to the hospital.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Alarms
We have a household alarm system. I use it when I am home alone. Otherwise, one of the oldies will set it off and I am the one who has to crawl out of bed and deal with it.
My overly complicated and convoluted car has an alarm system. If I leave the dog in the car with the doors unlocked, I'm afraid someone will steal her. If I lock the car, she always sets off the alarm. I just announce to the crowd in the drug store or the grocery store, "It's mine -- I'll handle it."
Our wake-up alarm is on my bedside table. I set it. I turn it off. I reset it for the husband on my workout days.
I guess alarms are a good thing. They make you feel a little safer. Some alarms are going off in my head right now.
My overly complicated and convoluted car has an alarm system. If I leave the dog in the car with the doors unlocked, I'm afraid someone will steal her. If I lock the car, she always sets off the alarm. I just announce to the crowd in the drug store or the grocery store, "It's mine -- I'll handle it."
Our wake-up alarm is on my bedside table. I set it. I turn it off. I reset it for the husband on my workout days.
I guess alarms are a good thing. They make you feel a little safer. Some alarms are going off in my head right now.
What are you doing?
I like it when people explain tbings to me like I'm a toddler. It's simplified and I don't feel guilty asking questions.
The oldies are well-educated people but life has thrown a few curves. The mother-in-law is in the hospital (she's fine, just recovering.) The husband has that pesky job of RUNNING A COMPANY. Meanwhile, he's dealing with doctors, VA people, visiting his mother, questioning legal things, investigating options and of course, ordering me around.
I am of the house. That means that I try very hard to meet the needs of the household. I fail every day but I keep plugging away,
There is always food around here but I have never cooked three meals a day. Before the oldies came to live with us, I was doing good if I cooked three meals a week. I was spawned from farm women (not my mother) but I have no interest in this. No thank you very much.
This morning I tried to have a serious conversation with Hangdog. Not about his wife or anything medical ... I simply said, "I need a few hours alone to get some things done." He nodded and I built a fire for him to sit by and enjoy. He had been fed and watered. I called the hospital so he could talk to his wife. All daily medications have been dispersed. Wooooo --hoooo! A moment for me!
Thirty minutes later he came in my office and asked, "What are you doing?"
The oldies are well-educated people but life has thrown a few curves. The mother-in-law is in the hospital (she's fine, just recovering.) The husband has that pesky job of RUNNING A COMPANY. Meanwhile, he's dealing with doctors, VA people, visiting his mother, questioning legal things, investigating options and of course, ordering me around.
I am of the house. That means that I try very hard to meet the needs of the household. I fail every day but I keep plugging away,
There is always food around here but I have never cooked three meals a day. Before the oldies came to live with us, I was doing good if I cooked three meals a week. I was spawned from farm women (not my mother) but I have no interest in this. No thank you very much.
This morning I tried to have a serious conversation with Hangdog. Not about his wife or anything medical ... I simply said, "I need a few hours alone to get some things done." He nodded and I built a fire for him to sit by and enjoy. He had been fed and watered. I called the hospital so he could talk to his wife. All daily medications have been dispersed. Wooooo --hoooo! A moment for me!
Thirty minutes later he came in my office and asked, "What are you doing?"
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
The Feeding and Watering of Hangdog
Well, the trip just about did them in. They returned to us exhausted. The mother-in-law was obviously ill. The husband took her to the doctor and she was immediately admitted to the hospital. She has a mild case of pneumonia which is responding to medication. Other tests are happening as I write this.
The husband told our physician to wear his coat of armor when he does rounds. She is not a happy camper.
In the meantime, Hangdog must be fed and watered. This is not a tough job because even if he hates what is put in front of him, he will tell you, "It is EXCELLENT!" (He is well trained.) But, it does involve a few interruptions in the day. Her medication disbursement system is unintelligible to anyone but her -- that's on purpose -- so we are spending inordinate amounts of time deciphering what he needs to take and when. This involves several calls to the doctor's office.
The banged-up car is still in my driveway. Hangdog is very concerned about getting it fixed. I've obsessed with getting it out of here. She's not driving on my watch.
The husband told our physician to wear his coat of armor when he does rounds. She is not a happy camper.
In the meantime, Hangdog must be fed and watered. This is not a tough job because even if he hates what is put in front of him, he will tell you, "It is EXCELLENT!" (He is well trained.) But, it does involve a few interruptions in the day. Her medication disbursement system is unintelligible to anyone but her -- that's on purpose -- so we are spending inordinate amounts of time deciphering what he needs to take and when. This involves several calls to the doctor's office.
The banged-up car is still in my driveway. Hangdog is very concerned about getting it fixed. I've obsessed with getting it out of here. She's not driving on my watch.
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