Ho Ho Ho

I laughed out loud when I read a recent story from The Hartford Courant about an Australian company training Santa Clauses. The Santas are to avoid the phrase "ho, ho, ho" because it has a negative American slang connotation: whore.

Sometimes the girlfriends and I will attempt to be hip and use this language. It's usually commentary on a young person in the entertainment news. "She's a 'ho." My mother-in-law and I were having a conversation last night and she made the comment, "She's a 'ho." I'm having way too much influence on her vocabulary.

When I was in my mid 20s, I had a girlfriend who had an impressive job, lots of money and extensive life experiences. She was a 'ho and sort of proud of it. I had no desire to live her lifestyle but I was like a kindergartner in the reading circle: "Tell me the story."

My dog, Gabby, is a 'ho. Her vacation and play date friends -- all retrievers -- are male. She rolls on her back and invites attention.

Westaff, the Australian Santa training company, provides trained Santas to retail centers around the world. Their suggestion is "Ha Ha Ha." I think this is political correctness gone awry.

But, I will laugh every time a mall Santa or a Salvation Army volunteer barks out, "Ho, Ho, Ho." Just so they know I'm not a 'ho, I'll shout back, "Ha, Ha, Ha!"