When the daughter was in high school, she had many friends that were the center of her life. Sometimes other things, like studying, took a backseat to whatever was going on with her friends. The husband was the voice of reason and explained that she wouldn't know or keep in contact with most of these people within five or ten years. I agreed with him but I had a hard time with these conversations because two of my dearest friends have been in my life long before high school.
Not that I don't have experience with losing touch with people.
I grew up in a neighborhood of friends. I probably wouldn't recognize most of them today. I had a core group in college and we were inseparable. I haven't seen many of them in years. My life is rich with friends but there are some other people that have disappeared and I miss them.
In a magical twist of fate, this blog has rekindled a friendship with some.
The oldies moved here from Mississippi. The first year, they received constant calls and letters from friends with juicy updates about their town, etc. This year, the notes and phone calls are dwindling. She's noticed and I can tell it depresses her.
Just like marriage, friendship takes an effort. In some ways, it takes more of an effort. It has to matter to you.
So, I've been trying to reach out a bit. When it works, the years fall away. I was in New York earlier this year and had dinner with a friend from college. We're making plans to visit again. I had lunch with another college friend and we shared laughter and tears. We spent a lot of time saying, "Remember when we all ...?" I'm a little jealous, he's done a much better job of keeping in touch with our college gang.
The Unabomber has lost touch with reality; the mother-in-law has not. She watches the comings and goings of our life and she misses her friends.
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2 comments:
I have not done a good job of staying in touch with many friends, and I miss some of them. Fortunately, I am blessed with some friends who make the effort to stay in touch with me. I consider your mother-in-law a friend, but I don't stay in touch with her often enough. I enjoy her company. She is a delight. I will make more of an effort to spend time with her. She is still so full of life and quite a story teller. I haven't seen her in a while, and i miss her. Looking forward to seeing her on Thanksgiving.
You will never lose me. I am afraid we share TOO much history. We reached a point of no return. We can get mad at each other, disagree, or get pissed over anything, but we will always be connected and close. My life would not be complete without you or Deb. You are as much a part of me as is possible and are responsible for part of who I have becomed. There is no doubt in my mind that I could call on you & you would be there by my side regardless of the situation. Friends, even family, come & go. But there are some people that you connect with that will forever be in your heart. I too will run into a childhood or college friend & can pick right up with them even though I haven't seen them for ages. And I run into people that I was so close to and never see again. I often wish I stayed in contact with my college roommates. How could we had shared such a tiny living space and then lose touch over the years? I wish them love & happiness, but it is okay that I don't see them. I would DIE without you or Deb! I have to have you in my life to function, be sane & a better Mom/Wife/Daughter/Friend/Person. I am very Blessed to have You!
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