How You Address Someone

I love people who address others as "Sir or Ma'am." These are titles of respect, especially when they come out of a young person. I sound like a dinosaur but I get a little sad that this formality has gone out of fashion, except in the deep south.

We Baby Boomers are partially to blame. We want to be young and hip forever.

The husband has always called my mother, "Mom." I think he started it as an ice breaker but it developed into a habit. I don't remember him ever calling her by her first name.

Before the oldies joined our household, we only saw them once or twice a year. (Oh, those were the days!) I didn't really call her by any particular name. Mrs. Roman seemed too formal; her first name seemed too chummy. Some of her grandchildren call her Grams but that seemed weird since she's not my grandmother. So, I would just wait patiently until she made eye contact with me and then speak to her.

I continued this little dance when they moved in. Finally, the husband called me on the carpet. "It would be nice if you called her Mom." Immediate, gutteral response: NO!!!! But then, I pondered and prayed. I reminded myself that the baby has called me Mom since he was a tot. The woman (my friend) who brought him into this world shared this wonderful title with me. Instead of jealousy, she embraced it. So, I agreed.

At first, it sort of stuck in my throat. But, with practice, it became easier. Now it just rolls off my tongue with zero thought. I completely underestimated the importance of this decision. We immediately became closer. And, just the address of "Mom" reminds us both of our relationship. With four sons, she has never had a girl/woman call her Mom.

When I was late teenage/young adult, I addressed my Aunt Connie as just Connie. No way, Jose! She yanked my tail and reminded me that being called Aunt was important to her. Well, you don't have to hit me twice. My aunts and great-aunts will attest to this: I never say their name without the Aunt attached.

There's an intimacy with names and titles. I get annoyed when a total stranger, like a store clerk, hands my credit card back and says, "Thank you, Sheri." I was born in the wrong era and I need to get over it. What happened to Mrs. Roman?

Then, the baby will call and say something like, "Mom, I love my classes." Or, "Mom, I need more book money." Or, "Mom, some people invited me to visit their fraternity." My brain misfires. All I hear is "Mom."